What's the most utterly pretentious album title you've ever seen?

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I was having a rummage through some old cassettes (remember them???) the other day in a junk shop and came across what was for me the most utterly pretentious and over-the-top album title I have ever seen. It was a group called China Crisis, and their their debut album back in the 80s was called, and I kid you not:

"Difficult Shapes and Passive Rhythms - Some People Think It's Fun To Entertain".

What's the twattiest album title you've ever seen (or bought)?

C J (C J), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 15:17 (twenty-three years ago)

()

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 15:19 (twenty-three years ago)

"When the Prawn Spawns...", or whatever the hell it was.

Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 15:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Mellon Collie & the Infinite Sadness, perhaps? Except they should have called it The Continuing Saga of Mellon Collie and thee Infinite Sadness, Op 47, Pts 1-16 (12 excepted)

sundar subramanian (sundar), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 15:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Surely 'Tales Of The Topographic Oceans' wins hands down.

dan brain, Tuesday, 25 February 2003 15:25 (twenty-three years ago)

you mean this -
"When The Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks Like A King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He'll Win The Whole Thing 'Fore He Enters the Ring There's No Body to batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand And Remember That Depth Is The Greatest Of Heights And If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where To Land And If You Fall It Won't Matter, Cuz You'll Know That You're Right"

H (Heruy), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 15:27 (twenty-three years ago)

"Be Not Nobody."

Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 25 February 2003 15:30 (twenty-three years ago)

But at least Tales. . . sort of makes sense on a semantic level. Plus the oceanic watery connotations kind of go along with Yes' sound/aesthetic. "Mellon Collie" is just such a lame contrived play on words. (What is the pun? Is that supposed to be a name? Neither "Mellon" nor "Collie" is at all a common name in any culture AFAIK.) Then the total melodrama of "infinite sadness" which is associated with this "Mellon Collie".

sundar subramanian (sundar), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 15:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Anticon--"Hip Hop for the Advanced Listener" and "Music for the Advancement of Hip Hop"

oops (Oops), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 15:35 (twenty-three years ago)

sandinista!

mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 15:59 (twenty-three years ago)

(tales of topographic oceans is just vague and silly)

mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 16:00 (twenty-three years ago)

New Sensations, cuz it weren't neither

Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 16:01 (twenty-three years ago)

1. Outside - The Nathan Adler Diaries: A Hyper-Cycle

Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 16:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Beat the Meatls

Aaron A., Tuesday, 25 February 2003 16:11 (twenty-three years ago)

lstn wtht prjdc

grt albm tho

piscesboy, Tuesday, 25 February 2003 16:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Tonic - 20th Century Masters :D

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 16:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Lalo Schifrin - The Dissection and Reconstruction of Music from the Past as Performed by the Inmates of Lalo Schifrin's Demented Ensemble as a Tribute to the Memory of the Marquis de Sade

michael (michael), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 16:36 (twenty-three years ago)

I have to agree with Dan and ( )

It's up there with the artist blah blah Prince

j0e (j0e), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 16:40 (twenty-three years ago)

9353: We Are Absolutely Sure There Is No God

(My knowledge of this is proof that I used to listen to indie in the 80's.)

Rockist Scientist, Tuesday, 25 February 2003 16:50 (twenty-three years ago)

not an album title but a website, for the band Alexis On Fire:
www.theonlybandevery.com

Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 16:55 (twenty-three years ago)

oops, extra y in there, should be www.theonlybandever.com

Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 16:55 (twenty-three years ago)

"Mellon Collie" is just such a lame contrived play on words.

That's the point, they created it as a ridiculous and not necessarily funny joke. In which case, did they fail or succeed? ;-)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 16:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Bal Sagoth Starfire Burning Upon The Ice-Veiled Throne Of Ultima Thule

Siegbran (eofor), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 16:57 (twenty-three years ago)

I second Sandanista!

Also BDP's By Any Means Necessary

Pretentious =/ stupid

Amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 16:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Lifted or The Story Is in the Soil, Keep Your Ear to the Ground

Pretentious (title and artist both).

die9o (dhadis), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 16:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Siegbran that's just accurate description surely?

mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Also Napalm Death's Enemy of the Music Business

Amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I always thought they were called Alex Is On Fire! Hah! All the posters I've seen around Toronto advertising a show just said "ALEXISONFIRE" without spaces so I was never sure.

Is "We have the facts and we're voting yes" too obvious? That always annoyed me. There's also Eminem using a different one of his names for each album (oh, that's a concept... right.)

Alexis, Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Siegbran that's just accurate description surely?

They wish...

Siegbran (eofor), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Starfire Burning Upon The Ice-Veiled Throne Of Ultima Thule (If That Was in Fact a Bit Crap)

mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:22 (twenty-three years ago)

don't like 'Lifted or The Story is in the Soil, Keep Your Ear to the Ground' by Bright Eyes, but he's an easy target.

Devendra Banhart's debut title is a bit trying ('Oh me oh my .. the way the day goes by the sun is setting dogs are dreaming lovesongs of the christmas spirit') but it's redeemed by the album's cover art (see here: http://www.younggodrecords.com/Releases/Detail.asp?ReleaseID=26)

I really like this parody of the Wavy Gravy school of titles, 'The Three Terrors In Their 1885 Transploding Styrofoam Holo-Graphic Octopus', the title of a one off show at the Bowery Ballroom by Stephin Merritt & pals.

'Some Girls' by the Stones has to win some prize for the most misogynistic groupie-banging album title in history.

mick hall, Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:23 (twenty-three years ago)

If the title wasn't rediculous enough, this is the tracklist:

1.Black Dragons soar above the Mountain of Shadows - Keyboard Instrumental
2.To dethrone the Witch-Queen of Mytos K'unn (The legend of the battle of Blackhelm Vale)
3.As the Vortex illuminates the cystalline walls of Kor-Avul-Thaa
4.Starfire burning upon the ice-veiled throne of Ultima Thule
5.Journey to the Isle of Mists (Over the moonless depths of night-dark seas)
6.The Splendour of a thousand swords gleaming beneath the blazon of the Hyperborean Empire
7.. And lo, when the Imperium marches against Cul-Kothoth, then dark sorceries shall enshroud the Citadel of the Obsidian Crown
8.Summoning the Guardians of the Astral Gate
9.In the Raven-haunted forests of Darkenhold, where Shadows reign and the hues of sunlight never dance
10.At the altar of the Dreaming Gods

Siegbran (eofor), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:25 (twenty-three years ago)

So it's a pub rock record then?

Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Sure...for a pub at VALHALLA.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:28 (twenty-three years ago)

Some Girls is a great title.

Amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Standing on the Shoulder of Giants. Not for the missing "s," but because it implies that Oasis are therefore giant-er than those musical acts they ape (uh I mean pay tribute to).

I nominate all self-titled records, but especially non-debut self-titled albums. Bo Diddley is the only artist allowed to do this, as he is Bo Freakin' Diddley. The band called Chicago is therefore the most pretentiously-titled band of all time.

Oh, and I really like super-pretentious titles of the kind cited above. More self-glorification! Hey, Yume Bitsu, who called a record Giant Surface Music Falling to Earth Like Jewels From the Sky! I am in fact calling you out...for a hug!

Neudonym, Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:34 (twenty-three years ago)

levez vos skinny blahblahblah

robin (robin), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:35 (twenty-three years ago)

I know most people will disagree with this, but it really irks me to see The Eminem Show album. I guess I don't mean "pretentious" so much as "okay, we get it about bad stuff that's happened in your life, what else do you have to say?".

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:40 (twenty-three years ago)

not to mention his other two albums: The Slim Shady LP and the Marshall Mathers LP. His narcissism, along w/his annoying whiny voice, are the two biggest reasons I don't listen to him.

oops (Oops), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Rapper in narcissism shocker!

("The Eminem Show" strikes me as being a fair degree of aggrandisement away from, ooh, "It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back" or "Follow The Leader", say)

Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:48 (twenty-three years ago)

It does, however, suggest he's trying to glom onto some of that hot Muppet Show action. In which case I'm both Statler and Waldorf.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Can you point me to the parts in 'Nation' and 'Leader' where they talk endlessly about their personal problems?

oops (Oops), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Nation is an extended paranoid whinge about how the media are out to get Chuck D and his group, climaxing with the bizarre prison-fantasy of "Black Steel..." - it's a much much better album than TES but the theme (the media are obsessed with us!) is identical, and PE rated a good deal less column inches in '88 than Eminem did in '02.

Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:55 (twenty-three years ago)

But surely It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back and Follow The Leader were at least accurate. Then again, The Eminem Show is actually probably more accurate as a description of that album and his whole thing than even Marshall Mathers himself wants to acknowledge.

I want to also add that A Rush of Blood to the Head is pretty damned pretentious. Not evil or wrong, just pretentious. Makes me like Coldplay just a little bit.

Neudonym, Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:55 (twenty-three years ago)

I think Mathers is well aware of his self-obsession, and I think it's an entirely appropriate subject for hip-hop in a hyper-confessional era (though I think The Eminem Show is a very patchy realisation of the concept)

Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:57 (twenty-three years ago)

I can't remember exactly what it was, but that big Arrested Development album of 90/91 had a pretty abominably title.

Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:58 (twenty-three years ago)

So the media weren't out to get PE? Not even to some degree?

It's unfair to say the whole album focused on the group. "She Watch Channel Zero" and "Night of the Living Baseheads" dealt w/other issues. "Cold Lampin'" was a nice diversion. And "Caught...", while focusing on the group itself, was not about anyone's fascination w/them.

oops (Oops), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 18:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh of course they were to some degree, just like to some degree the media are fixated on Eminem and his personal life is already public (so why shouldn't he sing about it). Plus there are tracks on The Eminem Show ("Square Dance" for instance) which don't exactly fit the 'all about Em's personal problems' notion.

ITANOM... is my fave record ever BTW. The Eminem Show is not.

Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 18:07 (twenty-three years ago)

(The minute-long montage track before "...Terrordome" on Fear of a Black Planet is the best media-obsession hip-hop track ever, too, and Eminem should have totally nicked the idea!)

Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 18:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Christina Aguilera sorta did for her new album. Sorta.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 18:10 (twenty-three years ago)

I love that title!

I nominate Terence Trent D'arby's entire catalog, or at least his first four. (How many has he got?) Anyone who habitually uses their own name and a possessive "s" in their album titles...And even a colon in the debut for, chrissakes.

Myonga Vön Bontee, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 03:30 (eighteen years ago)

i'm sure the band has some idea that its products are going to reach a global audience, and is conscious of trying to outsmart its naive anglophone listeners with some faux sort of exoticism.

I'm not sure I agree- they are titling them in their native language, and they do have fans in Iceland, I'm sure. And besides, Sigur Ros means Victory Rose IIRC, which is pretty pedestrian as far as album titles go. On the other hand, there is no excuse for the fucking parentheses album, packaging and all.

Telephone thing, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 04:46 (eighteen years ago)

yeah, you're probably right :)

Charlie Howard, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 05:11 (eighteen years ago)

That Aeroplane one by Neutral Milk Hotel or whoever it was.

Mike Dixn, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 05:30 (eighteen years ago)

Actually that was Olivia Tremor Control.

Mark Rich@rdson, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 06:17 (eighteen years ago)

I'm going to state the obvious here, an obvious that others have more than alluded to, but why do so many ILMers interpret "pretentious" as a pejorative? I mean, it can be, but, hey...

Lostandfound, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 06:20 (eighteen years ago)

And as much as () is, kind of, oddly, pretentious, it's packaging is both pretentious and very beautiful indeed.

I sometimes wonder whether "pretentious" is synonymous with "artistically ambitious".

Lostandfound, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 06:22 (eighteen years ago)

Pavement, "Westing (By Musket and Sextant)"

That long Fiona Apple poem title ("When the Pawn...") is pretentious in the eyes of many. Me, I think it's neat.

mactin, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 06:24 (eighteen years ago)

Although I do always find the defence "b-b-but it was s'posed to be a joke" hilariously lame in the face of such accusations. I mean, have the huevos to embrace the pretentiousness (or lack of, whatever) of your music or the music you champion!

Lostandfound, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 06:25 (eighteen years ago)

And might not "artistically ambitious" also encompass "overreaching"? I mean, this shit ain't simple.

Lostandfound, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 06:26 (eighteen years ago)

Those Who Tell the Truth Shall Die, Those Who Tell the Truth Shall Live Forever

stephen, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 07:22 (eighteen years ago)

People's Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm

The Reverend, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 20:55 (eighteen years ago)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7f/Prince_%28artist%29.svg

The Reverend, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 20:56 (eighteen years ago)

13 Tales from Urban Bohemia

Lolpez, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 21:05 (eighteen years ago)

what's pretentious about druqks? am i missing something?

later arpeggiator, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 21:13 (eighteen years ago)

Bolton Swings Sinatra

deusner, Thursday, 22 November 2007 01:49 (eighteen years ago)

that's "Mr." Fuckface to you, chaki...

henry s, Thursday, 22 November 2007 02:42 (eighteen years ago)

You know, a "fuckface" is kind of a weird thing to call someone as an insult. YOU ARE A CONTORTED EXPRESSION OF EXTREME PLEASURE! It just doesn't quite work.

The Reverend, Thursday, 22 November 2007 03:13 (eighteen years ago)

I nominate Terence Trent D'arby's entire catalog, or at least his first four. (How many has he got?) Anyone who habitually uses their own name and a possessive "s" in their album titles...And even a colon in the debut for, chrissakes.

yup -- terrence trent d'arby wins this contest hands down. he's the closest thing to a black axl rose as yer gonna get.

Eisbaer, Thursday, 22 November 2007 04:30 (eighteen years ago)

it's pretty easy to look up words.

"pretentious: trying to appear or sound more important or clever than you are, especially in matters of art and literature."

'the shape of jazz to come' isn't pretentious, it's accurate. and as a title it's humbler than it sounds.

'in the aeroplane over the sea' isn't pretentious, it refers to a song on the album titled 'in the aaeroplane over the sea' with that line in it describing an aeroplane over the sea. it's not claiming anything and it has a nice roll to it; how that is trying to appear or sound more important or clever than it really is = beyond me.

() is pretentious because a pair of parentheses with nothing in them is trying to appear or sound more important or clever than it really is.

it's fun and easy to apply definitions to things!

strgn, Thursday, 22 November 2007 08:05 (eighteen years ago)

peter murphy, deep -- pretentious if meant to convey mr. murphy's opinion as to the quality of that record's songs (not to mention the prior pretentiousness from mr. murphy's bauhaus [itself a pretty pretentious bandname] days, then there's naming yer post-bauhaus band "dali's car"). interestingly enough, the music on deep was probably murphy's most accessible and pop-oriented.

Eisbaer, Thursday, 22 November 2007 08:36 (eighteen years ago)

No mention of "This Is My Truth Tell Me Yours" yet?
Although, surely, there are songtitles by the Manics that are even way more pretentious than that one.

Geir Hongro, Thursday, 22 November 2007 09:51 (eighteen years ago)

'He Has Left Us Alone But Shafts of Light Sometimes Grace the Corners of Our Rooms' - A Silver Mount Zion

onimo, Thursday, 22 November 2007 10:03 (eighteen years ago)

one month passes...

No mention of "A Whole New Thing" by Sly & The Family Stone.

Giving your debut album such a title speaks of extreme confidence.....

Geir Hongro, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 13:10 (eighteen years ago)

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Scik Mouthy, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 13:18 (eighteen years ago)

.. Vol 1.

Mark G, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 13:36 (eighteen years ago)

Supergrass by Supergrass.

Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 14:51 (eighteen years ago)

No mention of "A Whole New Thing" by Sly & The Family Stone.

Giving your debut album such a title speaks of extreme confidence.....

Yeah, but if it's true (and it was for Sly), it ain't braggin'. Ditto Ornette's The Shape Of Jazz To Come, Cecil Taylor's Jazz Advance, etc.

Sara Sara Sara, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 15:20 (eighteen years ago)

Those titles were decided by the record companies, though, not the artists.

Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 15:20 (eighteen years ago)

There's a great 2-in-1 CD reissue of Jazz Advance and Coltrane Time which is credited to Cecil and goes under the name of Hard Drivin' Jazz complete with cover shot of car. Boy are the Les McCann fans in for a shock.

Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 15:23 (eighteen years ago)

Although I do always find the defence "b-b-but it was s'posed to be a joke" hilariously lame...
Sometimes dude, they're right.

I'll cast a vote for We Are the Architects of Desire, though it's probably not my final answer.

RabiesAngentleman, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 16:03 (eighteen years ago)

thread should've ended here

rockapads, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 18:22 (eighteen years ago)

I was hoping that would link to the first post but close enough.

HI DERE, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 18:31 (eighteen years ago)

I like China Crisis

burt_stanton, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 18:39 (eighteen years ago)

Yeah, but if it's true (and it was for Sly), it ain't braggin'. }

I do, indeed, agree, that Sly Stone's mixture of soul, funk, hippie music and English psychedelia was actually a whole new thing. But it's still pretentious.

Geir Hongro, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 21:13 (eighteen years ago)

the siegbran/mark s/tom exchanges up above are magnificent

gff, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 21:26 (eighteen years ago)

I don't think you actually know what "pretentious" means, Geir. It's not a synonym for "arrogant" or "presumptuous".

http://thesaurus.reference.com/browse/pretentious

HI DERE, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 21:32 (eighteen years ago)

Sydney band Madroom had an album called (deep breath)

"I'm for an art that is political-erotical-mystical, that does something other than sit on its ass in a museum. I am for an art that grows up not knowing it is art at all, an art given the chance of having a staring point of zero.I am for an art that embroils itself with the everyday crap & still comes out on top. I am for an art that imitates the human, that is comic, if necessary, or violent, or whatever is necessary. I am for an art that takes its form from the lines of life itself, that twists and extends and accumulates and spits and drips, and is heavy and coarse and blunt and sweet and stupid as life itself".

The quote is from sculptor Claes Oldenburg, apparently. It was a great album in a Birthday Partyish vein, hmmm, what happened to it?

moley, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 21:50 (eighteen years ago)

I don't think you actually know what "pretentious" means, Geir. It's not a synonym for "arrogant" or "presumptuous".

Actually, according to your own reference
Arrogant doesn't show up under synonyms for pretentious, but if you keep reading, pretentious does show up under synonyms for Arrogant. As for "presumptuous", one of the first synonyms is "assuming", so, y'know... it does mean those things.
I don't care for squabbles over definitions, but when it's cut and dry like this...

RabiesAngentleman, Thursday, 17 January 2008 10:05 (eighteen years ago)

OK, in short (ref: Sly album)

If the album title is true, then it is not pretentious.

I thank you.

Mark G, Thursday, 17 January 2008 10:08 (eighteen years ago)

B-b-b-but... All those self-titled album titles are objectively true, and nobody can deny that. :)

Geir Hongro, Thursday, 17 January 2008 10:57 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.phonono.com/pix/sigur-ros-svigar-lg.jpg

Geir Hongro, Thursday, 17 January 2008 10:58 (eighteen years ago)

http://image.listen.com/img/170x170/4/2/3/2/402324_170x170.jpg

(Those two)

Geir Hongro, Thursday, 17 January 2008 10:59 (eighteen years ago)

xpost: Right, so Self Titled albums are not pretentious album titles.

That does not stop them from being pretentious band/artist names, however.

Mark G, Thursday, 17 January 2008 11:16 (eighteen years ago)

It's a pity the Madroom album wasn't actually called (deep breath).

Dingbod Kesterson, Thursday, 17 January 2008 13:07 (eighteen years ago)

It's not pretentious, but Vintage Cocker does make me giggle.

QuantumNoise, Thursday, 17 January 2008 13:17 (eighteen years ago)

The parenthesised song subtitles on Hail To the Thief have always sturck me as pretentious, and irritated me to the point where I've deleted the subtitles from the songs' iTunes files.

chap, Thursday, 17 January 2008 15:37 (eighteen years ago)

Radiohead have just committed suicide in sympathy with your heartfelt protest.

Dingbod Kesterson, Thursday, 17 January 2008 16:11 (eighteen years ago)

in addition, their collective assets have been transferred to your bank account.

blunt, Thursday, 17 January 2008 16:25 (eighteen years ago)

Hooray.

chap, Thursday, 17 January 2008 16:27 (eighteen years ago)


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