Bad journalism thread

I pull my panties up around my hips to try and hold my dress together where the button's popped. I’m sweaty and there ain't no way to hide it. In an attempt at redemption I yell:
‘Oh help me lord I have sinned. Rock music has taken over my body and I can’t help myself.’ Mom and dad look on in horror. ‘Satan made me do it.’ I yelp.
I don’t think mom and dad will be going back to the church. Not like, until hell freezes over.

Just happened to see a stack of my brothers music magazines today and picked up a Blender magazine from 2003 (or Maxim Presents Blender) and sure enough it had all the kind of insulting of bands/genres they hated, including a list of the 50 worst bands. It had the expected prog bands, Manowar and Insane Clown Posse at number one. There was a column about what makes a band awful, saying the worst thing a band could write about is dragons. I was a little surprised that Skinny Puppy was on the list but the biggest surprise was Japan in the middle of the list. I kind of wonder how the writers feel about all this kind of writing in retrospect.

A cheeky little stocking filler.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, March 26, 2003 3:26 PM (twenty-one years ago)

made me laugh

ahhh, blender.

the only piece of shite smelly enough to usurp pitchfork's divine stench. but only for a short while; like a class b star of shitty journalism, they burned extra hot and ran out of fuel quickly. highly entertaining, but total trash.

I am a principal contributor to that and every other list that mag published while I was employed therein from Mar 2002 to July 2003. So… that particular list was the last I worked on before I was fired, which is to say that for some time beforehand I was very unhappy, being that the rationale of the mag had become quite toxic, and it was very clear that my bosses had absolutely no use or respect for me. But doing that list was fun, being that I had strengths that my bosses —one was an englishman who was defiant in his refusal to learn anything about the United States and its attendant music culture and who believed that americans were cretins to be guided by the british; the other two were rock critic/rock biz/ indie rock supremacist/ Village Voice bred rock snobs— needed, in that I understood a lot of stuff that their reflexive disdain would not permit them to.

Which is to say: I knew and loved Manowar, ELP and ICP (and probly other shit on that list, but I'm away from my archive of shit I worked on and cannot refer to the list), and one of the reasons I love them is that I love stuff that is very very funny to me. But my job, among other things, was to help make those lists as good —or, if you will, as marketable or funny or effective— as I could, and speak up when I thought my bosses were making a mistake, or overlooking something, or telling them about a power metal band from upstate NY who dress in animal pelts and grease up for photo shoots, and are absolutely enormous in Europe and South America but are obscure in the U.S. And so I knew that making fun of Manowar was low hanging fruit. that was part of my job. all three of the people I mention above were "ha, ha, metal musicians and fans are stupid, we're better than them."

So how do I feel about that kind of writing now? I am more conflicted about it now than I was at the time, which while I contributed to some shit that was funny and successful, was part of absolutely the most humiliating professional experience of my life.

Thanks for writing this. I assume the Maxim staff was in Blender too? I remember videogame magazines were much like lads magazines at the time too, and there was the prevalent attitude that 2d games were shit and should be left in the past.

I read good writing in Blender circa 2005.

Should poll these

The Blender 100 (Sept. 2005)

1. Kanye West
2. Coldplay
3. Gwen Stefani
4. White Stripes
5. Reality TV
6. 90s Alt-Rock
7. Mariah Carey
8. Shakira
9. Paris Hilton
10. Eminem/The Game/Dr. Dre/50 Cent
11. Ciara
12. Non-Human Singers
13. Foo Fighters
14. My Chemical Romance
15. Fiona Apple
16. Kelly Clarkson
17. Rick Rubin
18. Arcade Fire
19. Rilo Kiley
20. R.Kelly
21. "Jack" Radio
22. Ghetto Passes
23. Nip Slips
24. Christina Milian
25. Franz Ferdinand
26. Maroon 5
27. Podcasts
28. Reggaeton
29. Hustle & Flow
30. Death Cab for Cutie
31. Boyz N Da Hood
32. Nicole Ritchie
33. The Boys of TRL
34. The Shins
35. Stewie
36. Usher
37. Bob Geldof
38. Rob Thomas
39. Fall Out Boy
40. Jessica Simpson
41. Be Your Own Pet
42. Ringtones
43. Jack and Kelly Osbourne
44. Wolf Mother
45. Josh Groban
46. Spoon
47. Schools of Rock
48. Jay-Z
49. Lindsay Lohan
50. System of a Down