Musicians you would really punch in the face

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Like I'm trying to think of a musician I would honestly physically attack if I saw them, like right there, that asshole, he/she's earned this one, ooh, POW! Assault charges and a serious beating from hefty bodyguards. There are plenty of musicians I have little or no respect or use for, but I used to have a certain set of people I really HATED, and now I don't. I might punch Sean Combs, but I think now it'd be easier and more appropriate to just make fun of him.

What about you?

― Millar (Millar), Friday, 6 June 2003 22:42 (twenty years ago) link

Millar rage!

R. Kelly probably deserves a beatdown.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 6 June 2003 22:59 (twenty years ago) link

Tim Wheeler. It's not just the fact that the man is a talentless irritant, but I could also handle him quite easily. Few slaps, couple of kicks to the skull, easy.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 6 June 2003 23:01 (twenty years ago) link

Eminem, no doubt. He's so full of himself it's sickening. And that fake b-boy accent drives me crazy.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 6 June 2003 23:05 (twenty years ago) link

I wouldn't walk up and punch him, but I wouldn't mind dropping the gloves with Our Liam.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 6 June 2003 23:09 (twenty years ago) link

cregg from the vines

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 6 June 2003 23:10 (twenty years ago) link

Rob Thomas.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 6 June 2003 23:12 (twenty years ago) link

C.C. DeVille.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 6 June 2003 23:14 (twenty years ago) link

Does Ethan Hawke play an instrument?

Can I count the "Add It Up" scene from Reality Bites?

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 6 June 2003 23:37 (twenty years ago) link

Oh, 50 Cent as well. The man swans around with what appears to be a pair of silk underpants on his head, thinks he's fucking Bertie Big Bollocks, doesn't he?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 6 June 2003 23:40 (twenty years ago) link

Scott Weiland
That guy from Creed
Courtney Love
J. Lo
L.L. Cool J
Canibus
Morrissey
Orrin Hatch
John Ashcroft
Bright Eyes
Roger Waters

― King Kobra (King Kobra), Friday, 6 June 2003 23:43 (twenty years ago) link

The guys from Queens of the Stone Age

― Aja (aja), Saturday, 7 June 2003 00:17 (twenty years ago) link

a very sad thread

― jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 7 June 2003 00:23 (twenty years ago) link

jess. :)

― Mike Taylor (mjt), Saturday, 7 June 2003 01:02 (twenty years ago) link

That John Ashcroft article is one of the most hilarous things ever.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Saturday, 7 June 2003 01:05 (twenty years ago) link

Ted Nugent?

― William R Henderson (Cabin Essence), Saturday, 7 June 2003 01:36 (twenty years ago) link

That John Ashcroft article is one of the most hilarous things ever.

Yeah. Until you hear the song. And that blows the article away.

― King Kobra (King Kobra), Saturday, 7 June 2003 02:12 (twenty years ago) link

This is indeed a very sad thread. However, I am a very sad man:

That singer from The Vines

Richard Ashcroft

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Saturday, 7 June 2003 02:21 (twenty years ago) link

i would like to punch in the face:

- all the people i went to high school with.

- the guitar player in the band i auditioned for when i was 19.

- jay-z, 50 cent (though these are not actually musicians and should be much higher on the list)

- anyone who plays in a new-style "rock duo" involving either guitar and drums or bass and drums. particularly white stripes for nauseating me, lightning bolt for annoying me.

- sigur ros

- carl newman from the new pornographers

- david gedge (you can't moan, can you?)

- lou barlow (a punch in the nose)

- ahhh fuck it.

― fields of salmon (fieldsofsalmon), Saturday, 7 June 2003 04:50 (twenty years ago) link

haha I REALLY want to hear Fields' band now, actually

― Millar (Millar), Saturday, 7 June 2003 05:33 (twenty years ago) link

Bono!

― T. Weiss (Timmy), Saturday, 7 June 2003 06:24 (twenty years ago) link

Getting into a fistfight with Courtney Love = instant fame and worldwide adoration. Even if you lose.

― Hank Ten Beer (kenan), Saturday, 7 June 2003 06:27 (twenty years ago) link

i don't know about a punch to the face, but Craig from Vines deserves multiple kicks up the arse. this could be accompanied with shouts of

"Take that, you dope smoking, hamburger eating, 'twisted genius'"

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Saturday, 7 June 2003 06:38 (twenty years ago) link

avril lavigne, but only if two other people held her arms.

― your null fame (yournullfame), Saturday, 7 June 2003 07:08 (twenty years ago) link

avril's face looks like it's taken enough punishment

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Saturday, 7 June 2003 07:12 (twenty years ago) link

Can I punch some of the former Singing Senators? Not Jeffords though. Also.. a friend from Utah clued me in on the musical career of Senator Orrin Hatch. I hear his albums sell quite well back in his home state. A partic. highlight: "America Rocks!"

― daria g, Saturday, 7 June 2003 09:11 (twenty years ago) link

the rock band Jet

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Saturday, 7 June 2003 10:37 (twenty years ago) link

all of them

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Saturday, 7 June 2003 10:37 (twenty years ago) link

Jet are the coolest kids in Melbourne!

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Saturday, 7 June 2003 10:44 (twenty years ago) link

bwahahahaha!!!

you'll be saying R1ff Rand0m are the future of rock and roll next.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Saturday, 7 June 2003 11:18 (twenty years ago) link

jim, they are in fact, my oz rock heros.

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Saturday, 7 June 2003 11:31 (twenty years ago) link

More reasons to punch Ashcroft (John, not Richard), preferably with a large vibrating dildo:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2003/06/07/MN243223.DTL

But Richard too, obviously.

― Momus (Momus), Saturday, 7 June 2003 11:36 (twenty years ago) link

Matthew Herbert. sample that fucker.

― Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 7 June 2003 11:57 (twenty years ago) link

Someone already said Ted Nugent, but I'll say it again: TED NUGENT.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Saturday, 7 June 2003 12:57 (twenty years ago) link

the datsuns. all of them. i would win. they are pussies.

― di smith (lucylurex), Saturday, 7 June 2003 13:29 (twenty years ago) link

im surprised Moby hasn't been mentioned yet.
morrissey could use a slap.

― g.s (kissmyfist), Saturday, 7 June 2003 14:48 (twenty years ago) link

I'm so much more of a wedgie kind of guy.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 7 June 2003 15:48 (twenty years ago) link

Hasn't Moby suffered enough? He kind of annoys me too but really, he's pretty harmless.

My choice: Good Charlotte

― David Beckhouse (David Beckhouse), Saturday, 7 June 2003 16:25 (twenty years ago) link

The cruelest thing you could do to any of these people, really, is to ignore them.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 7 June 2003 16:27 (twenty years ago) link

i would punch Jet, then ignore them afterwards.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Saturday, 7 June 2003 16:40 (twenty years ago) link

they're quite a bit bigger than me, but they wouldn't be able to run after me in trousers that tight

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Saturday, 7 June 2003 16:48 (twenty years ago) link

there's alot out there i'd slap if i knew i could get awat with it. but no mucician (no, not even lars or even kelly osbourne) would be worth the terrible beat down that would be layed upon me by any securty present.

― dyson (dyson), Saturday, 7 June 2003 17:11 (twenty years ago) link

though all I'd wish on him is a few threatening sholder thrusts from Eminem, it is clear from his recent photo work and interviews that Moby has definitely not suffered enough.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 7 June 2003 17:22 (twenty years ago) link

Don't recall his name but that guy who did "Don't Worry Wear Your Nappy Now" song.

― N. Ron, Saturday, 7 June 2003 19:36 (twenty years ago) link

I really want to punch Uncle Kracker.

― Mike Taylor (mjt), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:01 (twenty years ago) link

Can I hold him down for you?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:40 (twenty years ago) link

I am glad you feel me on this one, ned.

― Mike Taylor (mjt), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:42 (twenty years ago) link

Robbie Williams. Especially with all the Knebworth hype starting soon. He is going to be inescapable.

― Franklin Ambrose (Franklin Ambrose), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:42 (twenty years ago) link

*bows* There are other people I'm not fond of even more passionately, if you will, but he always struck me as useless.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:42 (twenty years ago) link

I don't whanna punch Robbie, i'll get all his rabies infested mucus on my fist.

― Jrvision (visionjr), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:50 (twenty years ago) link

Skipping 177 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Fancy a Punch?

― kephm, Tuesday, 10 June 2003 18:08 (twenty years ago) link

make sure you get my good side

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 18:09 (twenty years ago) link

luckily I have no fear of being racist what with my being oriental and all.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 18:37 (twenty years ago) link

you big orientalist

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 18:46 (twenty years ago) link

awkward, obvious fit of white indie guilt
Hey! Thats not PC enough. You have to say "Oppressor-American Indie Guilt"
(unless of course, saying "Indie" is somehow insensitive to non-Indies.)
Me: Well, she's an Indie Crazy PC Lady: "you can't call her that. You have to say 'Non-Mainstreamist-American." It's racist to call her Indie." Me: She plays electric washboard in a avant-grunge neo-bhangra jug band. She prefer to be called Indie.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 19:15 (twenty years ago) link

women be shopping!

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 19:17 (twenty years ago) link

I really would hit Fred Durst.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 19:18 (twenty years ago) link

All of areosmith..

MOST of KISS

definitely BONO and i'm irish myself so fuck off.

Peter Frampton..

― sarah mcc______, Tuesday, 10 June 2003 19:21 (twenty years ago) link

MOST of KISS

Anti-semite!

(ducks, runs, hides, etc.)

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Thursday, 12 June 2003 00:53 (twenty years ago) link

I thought Vinnie Vincent was an Egyptian. Oh hold on that's still 'semitic' rite!

― dave q, Thursday, 12 June 2003 06:27 (twenty years ago) link

[one thing i have always *liked* abt the horrible beatdowns i got into on ilm is where a week or a day or an hour or a minute later yr on another thread and the person i wz uber-rudely hating on says something that's totally THAT'S WHAT I THINK TOO => and instead of oogly-pointless fiting it's all suddenly hot fucking] [in my head] [i have never had sex w.anyone one ilx] [except [MODERATORS LEAP IN]]

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 12 June 2003 08:58 (twenty years ago) link

and if you had an opportunity to bitch-slap frank zappa, mr. sinker, would you pass on it?

― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 12 June 2003 08:59 (twenty years ago) link

no, tad — cz then i'd have to have sex w.him obv!!

the only person i ever "punched" as a "grown-up" is swellsy! (i slapped his baldy head once at the nme when he was OH irritating me so much, and he hit me back really hard on the arm, to "teach me respect for violence" = HIS ACTUAL WORDS!!)

(ps i heart swellsy despite all and this wz just youthful omega males dicking around in too confined a space long ago)

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 12 June 2003 09:06 (twenty years ago) link

mick hucknall
marti pellow
ronan keating
g g g g gareth g g g gates
slipknot
axl rose

for a start

― frenchbloke, Thursday, 12 June 2003 14:12 (twenty years ago) link

(i slapped his baldy head once at the nme when he was OH irritating me so much, and he hit me back really hard on the arm, to "teach me respect for violence" = HIS ACTUAL WORDS!!)

I love that story!

― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 12 June 2003 14:29 (twenty years ago) link

mick hucknell gets my votes. ive actually planned out a whole talk show event to shame him. the idea is, i get this talk showand id invite him on, tell him he can perform and shit. then just before he starts to do his song, i get a gang of convicts to come out and gang rape him. it'd be like jay leno, cept with even more reaming

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Thursday, 12 June 2003 16:10 (twenty years ago) link

eewwww

― frenchbloke, Thursday, 12 June 2003 16:16 (twenty years ago) link

three months pass...

The very classic, very great Run DMC never needed a "posse"

How did this one slide by?

― Frank Kogan (Frank Kogan), Friday, 3 October 2003 22:14 (twenty years ago) link

I want to punch the lead singer of the Darkness. He's ruining what could be a perfectly fine pop-metal group.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 3 October 2003 22:22 (twenty years ago) link

two years pass...

That prick from The Feeling:

http://www.thunderchunky.co.uk/the-feeling-header.jpg

Look at him!

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 5 June 2006 16:13 (seventeen years ago) link

he reminds me of

http://www.scrubs-fr.net/encyclo/personnages/images/13.jpg

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Monday, 5 June 2006 16:48 (seventeen years ago) link

That prick from The Feeling:

You'll have to narrow that down a bit.

― mei (mei), Monday, 5 June 2006 17:01 (seventeen years ago) link

Like I'm trying to think of a musician I would honestly physically attack if I saw them, like right there, that asshole, he/she's earned this one, ooh, POW!

oh dear lord, that's funny. It's like the desire to punch is there first. It's like William Burroughs saying that white people like to marshall the army before there are any enemies

― nicky lo-fi (nicky lo-fi), Monday, 5 June 2006 17:04 (seventeen years ago) link

two years pass...

That Buggles-looking motherfucker from Hot Chip

― Peter "One Dart" Manley (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Tuesday, 11 November 2008 13:32 (fifteen years ago) link

Would be really cool to punch Yngwie Malmsteen in his face and release his fucking fury. :)

― Geir Hongro, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 13:37 (fifteen years ago) link

i'd pay $10 to punch trent reznor in the face

― the sir weeze, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 14:13 (fifteen years ago) link

this is an angry thread

― Kevin Keller, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 14:15 (fifteen years ago) link

Can't believe no-one's suggested that fucking Kaiser Chiefs drummer.

― nate woolls, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 14:23 (fifteen years ago) link

I'd like to line up The Decemberists and give them a collective face-slap...

― henry s, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 14:32 (fifteen years ago) link

That Buggles-looking motherfucker from Hot Chip

Oh god me too, he is the walking, breathing epitome of all that is shite about modern music.

― MaresNest, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 14:37 (fifteen years ago) link

Carlos Santana.

Johnny Bovril from Razorlight.

― Sven Hassel Schmuck, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 15:22 (fifteen years ago) link

Any "freak-folk"/"psych-folk" musician who is not Skip Spence (and he's dead, so that'd just be mean and pointless).

I was gonna say Jim O'Rourke too, but Peter Brotzmann (allegedly) will beat me to it.

― Sara Sara Sara, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 15:27 (fifteen years ago) link

http://www.brooklynvegan.com/img/music/rollins.jpg

― DavidM, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 15:53 (fifteen years ago) link

3/5 of The Strokes based on their faces / expressions alone.

― If Assholes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 16:35 (fifteen years ago) link

man if you get a shot at Rollins you better not miss, that's all I'm gonna say...

― henry s, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 18:07 (fifteen years ago) link

I'd rather target someone who is stupid rich, absurdly self-important & prone to violent outbursts (Axl Rose, say) and antagonize them to the point where they punch me. Hello early retirement..

― Sugar hiccup, Makes a pig soar and swoon (Pillbox), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 05:12 (fifteen years ago) link

Glenn Danzig, but many have beaten me to that punch.

― Eater of Mexicans (Bo Jackson Overdrive), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 05:25 (fifteen years ago) link

danzig is like 5"3" tough guy

― the night of counting the years (Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 05:56 (fifteen years ago) link

5"3"? What's that, measuring up and then out?

― Lower GI Joe (libcrypt), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 06:07 (fifteen years ago) link

Let's be real here, Axl would probably just throw a diva-fit rather than fight back.

― mr. mayan end times guy (The Reverend), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 08:26 (fifteen years ago) link

OK then, DMX. Eminem? Scott Stapp.

― Sugar hiccup, Makes a pig soar and swoon (Pillbox), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 08:30 (fifteen years ago) link

Rose Melberg

― endangered cocktails, fish house punch, frivolous filly (unregistered), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 08:32 (fifteen years ago) link

I would go to town on Pharrell Williams, for sure. He's probably my most loathed of all musicians. Then I'd make a trip over to Steve Aoki's house. . .(not that he can be called a musician), and Busy P, that dude needs a bout with some sort of unpleasant pox.

― Their time's limited, hard rocks, too (mehlt), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 15:47 (fifteen years ago) link

How in the world have we made it this far without a DevBan mention? Him then.

― jon /via/ chi 2.0, Wednesday, 12 November 2008 22:16 (fifteen years ago) link

omg 5 years ago is embarrassing jesus

― BODY PROP (nickalicious), Thursday, 13 November 2008 02:33 (fifteen years ago) link

embarrassing, jesus

― BODY PROP (nickalicious), Thursday, 13 November 2008 02:33 (fifteen years ago) link

haha you were right the first time.

rollins has been punched in the face zillions of times! didn't y'all read GET IN THE VAN??

hatin' on the strokes in 08 is funny though.

Any "freak-folk"/"psych-folk" musician who is not Skip Spence (and he's dead, so that'd just be mean and pointless).

^^do not hit gary higgins or bill fay in the face they are old (and maybe dead in fay's case)

― M@tt He1ges0n, Thursday, 13 November 2008 02:41 (fifteen years ago) link

i think i'm going to try these crazy login names the kids are so crazy about these days.

― 'RAPPERS I WOULD NEVER DREAM OF PUNCHING IN THE FACE?' (M@tt He1ges0n), Thursday, 13 November 2008 02:42 (fifteen years ago) link

I can't imagine hating on Puffy. He is like a fountain of amusement.

― mr. mayan end times guy (The Reverend), Thursday, 13 November 2008 07:48 (fifteen years ago) link

one year passes...

you've come a long way, baby

― thomp, Thursday, 3 December 2009 13:48 (fourteen years ago) link

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