Bands that REALLY could not play

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People often said of punk bands, and in fact the thing that made it "punk" wasthe bands' inability to play. But if you listen to any of those old records, especially Sex Pistols or Clash or Ramones... they CAN play. They're kinda a sloppy, or simplistic, but they obviously CAN play.

Were they any bands that really couldn't play?

― David Allen, Tuesday, 29 July 2003 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

This question is oxymoronic.

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Here is a previous thread on this topic.

― Mark (MarkR), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Throbbing Gristle, maybe. The Shaggs, maybe.

But: what do you mean by "play"?

(x-posts)

― amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Neil Hagerty's "soul" band, like three years ago, can't remember what it was called

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Happy Flowers,

Missing Foundation

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 18:04 (twenty-two years ago)

So again, I say: The Germs. That's all.

― dave225 (Dave225), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

hey hey we're the [fill in the blank], people say we monkey around, but we're too busy singing, to put anybody down

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Compared to Missing Foundation, The Germs sound like Emerson Lake & Palmer.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Everybody on the Shrapnel label. They never play, they always go to war.

― nestmanso (nestmanso), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

If you make an exception for a few simple, basic chords, the Godz, for sure.

Rancid Vat maybe?

Coincidentally, two fucking great bands all the same, tho.

― roger adultery, Tuesday, 29 July 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Neil Hagerty's "soul" band, like three years ago, can't remember what it was called

Weird War?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Jackie-O Motherfucker.

― fields of salmon (fieldsofsalmon), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 18:38 (twenty-two years ago)

apparently Arto Lindsey still can't play the guitar. My friends played with him and he admitted that he can't really play any instruments

― Magic City (ano ano), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 19:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Old Skull, Half Japanese

― chad (chad), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 19:15 (twenty-two years ago)

early Fugs.

― nonthings (nonthings), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 20:15 (twenty-two years ago)

and Madonna can't really play guitar.

― nonthings (nonthings), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 20:16 (twenty-two years ago)

John's Children, The Blood Brothers, Captain Beefheart(himself). Heh, Old Skull.. I thought I'd never hear that name outside my group of friends.

― Chesnick, Tuesday, 29 July 2003 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Elvis Presley?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Hm... I'm very interested in punk faux incompetence right now... glad I'm not the only one who thinks a punk band that can't play and is actually proud of it didn't get the joke...

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 20:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Pray elaborate, Ann.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

The Blood Brothers, Captain Beefheart(himself).
-- Chesnick (thebigolbu...), July 29th, 2003 2:29 PM. (later)

wowowow. i chose to single both out for very, very different reasons, but let's focus on beefheart for now...

you are aware that he's responsible for the blues harp and (most of) saxophone performances in his material?

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

i mean, i have no idea what your extent of listening/music theory angle you're coming from but listen to "owed t'alex" in particular the interplay between beefheart and tepper that ends the song.

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah. I'm Beefheartian, & I am disgusted by how Beefheart revisionism has become acceptable in polite society.

― autovac (autovac), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 04:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Elvis played guitar on the early Sun recordings, didn't he?

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 04:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes he did -- pretty decent rhythm. Just don't ask him to pick.

― Jazzbo (jmcgaw), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 11:16 (twenty-two years ago)

U2 - did you see that documentary (the rooftop gig thingy)...The Edge could barely play a note in the dressing room. An E-Bow, reverb & a delay pedal can turn anyone into an ethereal 'guitarist'.

― Jez (Jez), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 11:37 (twenty-two years ago)

No shit. I'm a lousy guitarist.. But with electronic processing, I sound as good as ... say,... Blink 182!

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 11:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyone remember BMX Bandits debut single "E102"?!?!?!

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 11:56 (twenty-two years ago)

The Godz rule this thread hands down.

Beefheart can play the harp, that's true. But he would be the first to admit that he had absolutely no idea what he was doing when he played sax - the question is does it matter?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 12:14 (twenty-two years ago)

The White Stripes.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 12:18 (twenty-two years ago)

FITE!

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20030725/capt.1059132117.japan_politics_xits104.jpg

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 12:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Give B.B. King The Edge's effects petals and see if he has any idea how to coax beautiful and new sounds out of them.

There are different kinds of virtuosity and talent, you know.

― amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

"Yes he did -- pretty decent rhythm. Just don't ask him to pick."

Elvis occasionally played lead guitar ("One Night," "Blue Christmas") and even bass ("You're So Square Baby I Don't Care").

― Burr (Burr), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 15:53 (twenty-two years ago)

He was also a comedian ("Having Fun with Elvis on Stage").

― amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Seems like only one member of Fun Boy Three had played a instrument with their alma mater, The Specials.

― christoff (christoff), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Arto Lindsay sure can play the gtr gd on the 1st Louge Lizards rec

I once saw Jad Fair do a set in the basement of Rough Trade where he didn't even ATTEMPT to 'play' (chords etc) on his guitar, just strummed it/thumped - but it was probably part of his 'act' - there's certainly some gd guitaring on earlyish Half Japanese recs - and Daniel Johnston is borderline inept on gtr, but a perfectly ok keyboard player

Whoever said early Fugs is spot on, yeah and the Godz

I'm not sure New Order or R.E.M. can still really 'play' at all, doesn't matter

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I once saw Jad Fair ...
I once saw him .. he strummed along during the whole set until he got to his solo - he held out his arm, and his other guitarist unplugged his own guitar and handed Jad the cord. That was the first time all night Jad had plugged in. He mangled some strings for 8 bars and then handed the cord back.

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

i saw him do that same trick with yo la tengo about 5 years ago or whenever.

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

The Godz rule this thread hands down.

Not only could they not play, they also had a policy of never practicing outside the studio.

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Kicking Giant couldn't play worth a damn, but that was never the point. Same thing with 90% of K and Kill Rock Stars bands, I guess.

― Nick Mirov (nick), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Horace I'm not talking about Weird War, I'm talking about the group before that. Hagerty had two drummers who literally appeared to have no idea what the other was playing. If they'd put out an album I'd be amazed.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Beat Happening
Ramones
Misfits
Mo' Tucker

Which is why I *HEART* them! Skill is overrated.

― Francis Watlington (Francis Watlington), Thursday, 31 July 2003 03:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, OK. So maybe they COULD play...kjsdfkd...

Band that really can't play- any I've been in... :(

― Francis Watlington (Francis Watlington), Thursday, 31 July 2003 03:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Poison. I saw them once, unfortunately I was in a band that opened for them, and not only could they not play, they did not play. No tapes or backstage musicians, they just didn't play. But boy did they pose.

― Speedy Gonzalas (Speedy Gonzalas), Thursday, 31 July 2003 05:23 (twenty-two years ago)

How important are booze, drugs & violence in the "genious" of these bands? Would any of them (besides the Shaggs) be worth mentioning if they (or you) were sober?

― dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 31 July 2003 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, I look up to CC DeVille, if only cuz I still can't play that friggin' solo to Talk Dirty To Me right, and I've been playin' guitar for 7+ yrs! WTF?!!!

― Francis Watlington (Francis Watlington), Friday, 1 August 2003 03:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Well duh - Milli Vanilli.

But apart from that it all depends on how you define it. Captain beefheart didn't know the theory or probably didn't know what notes came from what fingerings or even what the standard fingerings were but (and this is the big but) he still had an artistic vision and the ability to put it across. And plenty of musicians who can play are dull as hell.

― tigerclawskank, Friday, 1 August 2003 10:26 (twenty-two years ago)

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