Record titles that'll make you never want to buy the record.

Limp Bizkit's Chocolate Starfish & the Hot Dog Flavoured Water owns this thread, by the way (although the argument could also be made that there are countless reasons why one would never want to buy that record, title notwithstanding).

And I like them...

Now if Don Van Vliet had said something like that, followed perhaps by ".... are fast and bulbous. Got me?", I think I'd probably have declared it a work of rare genius!

What a mammoth crock of shit for a title.

"Sampling Jazz" would be overly meta and get the same reaction from me.

I thought that was a great title for a song--what's not to love about it in that light? It's just a shame the album in question was so miserable...

how about "I've Got My Own Album To Do"

and

"Dongs of Sevotion"

Joe Walsh's You Bought It, You Name It. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Quite an assumption that I'm going to buy it, isn't it?

Blink 182's Take Off Your Pants and Jacket.

When R.E.M. released that record with "Everybody Hurts" on it, I remember thinking, "Do I really want to hear an album that Michael Stipe has officially deemed Automatic For the People? Do I have to?"

And then there's this:
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000002W6U.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

If there's anyone I would rather not see "Bustin' Out!", it would be Pure Prairie League.

as is the shape of punk to come.

my vote is for: "elephunk"

Anticon put out TWO albums with titles in that vein: "Hip Hop for the Advanced Listener" and "Music for the Advancement of Hip Hop"

or possibly even worse that that: "Punk's Not Dead!"

it just reminds me of that southpark quote about all art films being about gay cowboys eating pudding...

My biggest problem with that album title is its lack of proper punctuation, omitting the very necessary apostrophe, making it the plural "punks" as opposed to the truncation of "punk is....". Or is that Wattie Buchnan's brand of PUNKtuation? (Sorry).

1) by the time that came out (81?) punk very clearly was dead;
2) it was crappy, unintelligent, unimaginative, stereotype bands like The Exploited who had fuckin' killed it!

and then..

David Beckham's Greatest Hits
The Best of David Beckham
David Beckham - The Hits
The Very Best Of David Beckham

Oh and Nailbomb "Proud To Commit Commercial Suicide" was pretty cynical for a cash-in sideproject.

Devo's album titles are one of the reasons why I'm not interested in hearing any of them.

... with MC Conrad

...featuring Spaceape

11 Tracks of Whack

Yeah, this is a winner. As much as I like Steely Dan, that title has always put me off from ever hearing the album.

Hail To The Thief. That crushingly obvious title - along with the wanky artwork, which makes me cringe, and the fact that it's fucking Radiohead - has so far outweighed the fact that I actually like quite a few of the songs on the album.

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, July 30, 2003 3:26 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i always kinda thought it was cuet cuz it reminded me of some lost 84-ish hardcore song title

any of those meaningless, overlong album titles like

all that you can't leave behind
more than you think you are

hell even that eno/byrne record (which is not bad) has a terrible title along these lines that will prevent me from ever buying it.

Everything That Happens Will Happen Today?

Sounds like a McSweeney's title.

Some poetastress put out a record called "This is This and I am Me and You are You and She is She and He is Him and It is It and .... " and so on, or something like that. I think it got pretty good reviews but I could never. Might as well call your album "I Was Quirky and Felt Misunderstood In High School, But I Had a Group of Very Close Friends Who Admired My Work."

Whoop, found it:

This Is It and I Am It and You Are It and So Is That and He Is It and She Is It and It Is It and That Is That
by Marnie Stern, tryhard.

I am astonished that the thread has gone this far without a mention of He Poos Clouds

This Is It and I Am It and You Are It and So Is That and He Is It and She Is It and It Is It and That Is That

Holy shit, winner!

I am astonished that the thread has gone this far without a mention of He Poos Clouds

― Paul in Santa Cruz, Tuesday, May 19, 2009 9:21 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"He Poos Clouds"? That can't be for real...

oh yes it is.

Oh, and "When the pawn meets the apple etc" by Fiona Grape, or something.

Even "He Shits Clouds" would have been better. "Poo" as a verb is unforgivable past the age of three.

"Shits" imlies velocity.

"Poos" implies a gradual and slow release.

"Farts" implies deathsmoke

"Pumps" implies he's a geordie.

Important distinctions.

Has Owen ever said why it's called that?

He Shits Clouds: This Time It's Cirrus

Anyone else suspect that it's actually an anagram for something? It's got that kinda feel. A few possibilities:

Sophocles Duo
Sold Echo Opus
Slouch Do Pose
Pseudo School
Close Posh Duo
Choose Old Pus
Cold Shoe Soup
Dope Loss Ouch
So Such Poodle
Chop Soul Dose
Sue Sold Pooch

Douche sloops

Or rather: Slops O'Douche

Hoop Es Clouds

I find it slightly irritating that that band is called "The Pains of Being Pure AT Heart" instead of "Pure OF Heart" - is their album a self-titled one?

Has Owen ever said why it's called that?

he did and it didn't help.

He Poos Clouds is pretty much the worst record title of all time and I don't care how good the record is, there's no way I'm listening to it.

the thread where ppl argue about that title is so classic

"he poos clouds" by Final Fantasy, early contender for album of the year

awesome mentalism all over the place there

It's the onomatopoeia that does it - "poos" sounds too much like "ooze" and you can't help picturing the process. Actually a worse title than Chocolate Starfish, which you would have thought impossible.

Hoop Es Clouds

HOOS Cloud EPs

It's the combination of poos and clouds - He Poos Logs would have made you think of healthy bowel movements. He Poos Clouds sounds like something that would have happened in the Soho cholera outbreak of the 1860s.

I'm thinking that this is definitely a Type 6 on the Bristol Stool Scale.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_Stool_Scale

Pretty sure I saw Bristol Stool Scale supporting the Neddies back in '92.

Killing Joke - "Revelations"

It just sounds so...goth!

Hail To The Thief. That crushingly obvious title...

what's obvious about it?

The 'slogan' "Hail to the Thief" had been thrown around all over the media for the year (or so) leading up to the release of the album, in relation to George W. Bush's 'stealing' of the election - so the title didn't have a lot of impact as something clever by the time the album came out.

(I'm guessing that's what Lex meant, anyway)

Having read what Owen says re; titling the album that way, I can totally jive with He Poos Clouds.

It's just pedastalling someone, innit? "His shit doesn't stink", "her farts smell of flowers", etc etc. To an amusing, disarming degree.

The 'slogan' "Hail to the Thief" had been thrown around all over the media for the year (or so) leading up to the release of the album, in relation to George W. Bush's 'stealing' of the election - so the title didn't have a lot of impact as something clever by the time the album came out.

What?! I had never heard that slogan before it being attributed to the album itself. Doesn't mean they didn't nick it from somewhere else, but "all over the media"?

Yes.

The Washington Post

January 21, 2001 Sunday
Final Edition

At 3:15 p.m., as Bush's limousine moved past Seventh and Pennsylvania, the greeting was not as friendly. Some in the crowd booed and chanted, "Hail to the Thief," "Selected not elected" and "Down with the king."

The Nation
January 18, 2001

At the corner of Connecticut and K streets in downtown Washington, three blocks from the White House, a young African-American artist does a flourishing business selling his flavorful anti-Bush posters. "Shame on the Bushes and the rest of their kind!" he hollers occasionally to stir up customers. "Hail to the thief!"

Actually just look here

It's kinda weird that ilx search doesn't turn up anything earlier than the Radiohead album, though.

Sounds like a McSweeney's title.

I'm not exactly a McSweeney's hater but... exactly.

I already own and like a few of his albums but there's a fair number of Frank Zappa records that'd fit the bill here - do I really want to spend money on something called 'Uncle Meat' or 'Apostrophe (')' or 'Sheik Yerbouti' or 'Have I Offended Someone' or 'Bongo Fury'?

Bongo Fury, though...

I like all those Zappa titles. "Jazz From Hell" was the FZ title that crapped out on me.

I second "He Poos Clouds" for the win.

https://images.genius.com/e960c3b31073f0093cf7c6cfe8b895fe.999x1000x1.jpg

(Public Enemy: Muse Sick-n-Hour Mess Age)

There are several contenders among late-period Public Enemy albums. New Whirl Odor would be my personal choice.