Songs With Good Advice

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The Police - When the world is running down (you make the best of what's still around)

The Chameleons - Time the End of Time

― Jimmy Parker, Sunday, 28 September 2003 14:49 (twenty-two years ago)

'Don't put your fingers in the sex places' (The Tinklers)

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 28 September 2003 14:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"Never change lovers in the middle of the night" by Boney M.

― Keith Watson (kmw), Sunday, 28 September 2003 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Transition by Underground Resistance is the mother of all good advice tracks. After that one, you feel like you've just read an entire book by Joseph Campbell.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Sunday, 28 September 2003 15:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Half Man Half Biscuit, "Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite" -

Never trust a Crown Green bowler under 30

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 28 September 2003 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

"kill the poor" - dead kennedys

― notfazed (notfazed), Sunday, 28 September 2003 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

"never drive a car when you're dead" - tom waits
telephone call from istanbul

― chaki (chaki), Sunday, 28 September 2003 17:21 (twenty-two years ago)

these all sound like HORRIBLE advice. Sting's best advice was clearly "Don't Stand So Close To Me."

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 28 September 2003 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

yeh that B.O. didn't seem to hinder his career tho

Baz Luhrmann to thread anyway i guess - were there any good parodies of 'Sunscreen'? i had an idea for one ages back that switched the lyrics with quotes based on They Live! e.g. 'MARRY AND REPRODUCE....WATCH MORE TELEVISION....'

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 28 September 2003 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Anthony, that is useless advice because I have never stood at all close to Sting.

Fuck, that's actually not true - I fell over in front of his Rolls Royce at Gatwick airport once.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 28 September 2003 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

well your advice is even worse, N.

But seryusly, AC/DC's "Ride On" is the advice bomb. That and Ween's "Don't Squeal on the pusher"

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 28 September 2003 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Pop wisdom: Best advice in a (pop) song?

― that guy (Keiko), Sunday, 28 September 2003 17:34 (twenty-two years ago)

"if you can't be good, be magical, be mean
if you can't be good, be shameless, be obscene
be passionate possessed, be obstinate obsessed
be everything I knew you would, if you can't be good"
- Coloma

― Sonny A. (Keiko), Sunday, 28 September 2003 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

most of the best advice I hear in a pop song is to shake something. Whether you shake it up, shake it like a polaroid picture, shake it like a white girl and whethet "it" is your moneymaker, your booty or what your mother gave you, it seems like everybody agrees you should SHAKE.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 28 September 2003 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Shaking the disease is probably the least fun of these.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 28 September 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Peaches says: Shake yer dix!

― Seb, Sunday, 28 September 2003 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

"Take care of your health and get plenty of rest" - 'Nothing Was Delivered', Dylan

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Sunday, 28 September 2003 20:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't mess with the prison women.

"Prison Women" -- REO Speedwagon.

Terry Luttrell penned, then they fired 'im for the sin of grit.

― George Smith, Sunday, 28 September 2003 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

"Get up! Make a buck!" - The Fall
some mornings I find this oddly motivational.

― Poppy (poppy), Sunday, 28 September 2003 20:15 (twenty-two years ago)

"live your life full of joy and wonder"

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Sunday, 28 September 2003 20:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Hippie Dream by Neil Young opens with the line "Take my advice - don't listen to me". I do like Neil Young, but it's good advice whether I like him or not.

― Damian (Damian), Sunday, 28 September 2003 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

"There's more to life than books you know/But not much more"

--The Smiths, "Handsome Devil"

― seanp (seanp), Sunday, 28 September 2003 22:33 (twenty-two years ago)

another fall one:

"pay your rates! pay your rates! pay them tomorrow!!"

― the surface noise (electricsound), Sunday, 28 September 2003 22:37 (twenty-two years ago)

"never trust a man from Arkansas" - Killdozer

And in light of the lyrics leading up to this: "Stay off the whiskey and let that cocaine be!" - Johnny Cash (see also "Don't take your guns to town, son. Leave your guns at home." )

― Ben Dot, Sunday, 28 September 2003 22:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Brian Wilson is/was the master of simple, good advice. Better than, like, Martha Stewart or Dr Phil:

Take Good Care Of Your Feet
I do them when I'm down in the tub
With avocado cream they'll take a rub
They wrinkle like a-raisins if I stay too long
I wouldn't want to do it wrong

They'll put you in the driver's seat
And to the table when you want to eat
But when you go to sit down in your chair
Something else has got to put you there

Take good care of your feet, Pete
You better watch out what you eat, Pete
Better take care of your life
'Cause nobody else will

They'll twinkle when you fall in love
And put you there when you jump up above
When you're on the spot, get them right under you
One, then the other too

If you want to do the right thing for them
Just take a walk in the grass
But don't you catch yourself fallin'
Or steppin' on a piece of glass
(Ouch glass)
Pete knows all the treacherous blows
The fallen arches and the cramp in the toes
He went to H. E. L. P. and got some sandals new
And dusty old saunas too

Take a load of your feet Pete
You better watch out what you eat
Better take care of your life
'Cause nobody else will

Do do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do

Vegetables
I'm gonna be round my vegetables
I'm gonna chow down my vegetables
I love you most of all
My favorite vege-table

If you brought a big brown bag of them home
I'd jump up and down and hope you'd toss me a carrot

I'm gonna keep well my vegetables
Cart off and sell my vegetables
I love you most of all
My favorite vege-table
Oh oh taba vega vegel

I tried to kick the ball but my tenny flew right off
I'm red as a beet 'cause I'm so embarassed

Oh oh dum do dum de dooby do
Oh oh dum do dum de dooby do
Oh oh dum do dum de dooby do
oh yeah
Oh badumday oh dum do dum de dooby do
Oh badumday oh dum do dum de dooby do

Chomp chomp chomp chomp do-do-do do-do-do
Bop bop bop bop do-do-do do-do-do

I know that you'll feel better
When you send us in
Your letter an'
Tell us the name of your
Your favorite vege-table

― adaml (adaml), Sunday, 28 September 2003 22:51 (twenty-two years ago)

"What the world needs now, is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of"

― CNWB, Sunday, 28 September 2003 23:24 (twenty-two years ago)

You can't keep your wife and yr outside womens too...

― ModJ, Sunday, 28 September 2003 23:37 (twenty-two years ago)

nordicskillz wins.

― Mike Taylor (mjt), Sunday, 28 September 2003 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Frank Zappa - Why does it hurt when I pee?

Not so much a song of advice, but it gets a point across. A lesson of life, maybe?

― dude, Sunday, 28 September 2003 23:50 (twenty-two years ago)

were there any good parodies of 'Sunscreen'?

Chris Rock, "No Sex (in the Champagne Room)"

But I prefer Smokey Robinson and the Miracles, "Shop Around"

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 29 September 2003 00:07 (twenty-two years ago)

"You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows." -- Dylan (1965)

A friend of mine tried to pass this off as his own for a high school English class assignment. The teacher -- a child of the 60s -- had no clue.

― Jazzbo (jmcgaw), Monday, 29 September 2003 01:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Grandmother's Song

Be courteous, kind and forgiving
Be gentle and peaceful each day
Be warm and human and grateful
And have a good thing to say

Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike
Be witty and happy and wise
Be honest and love all your neighbors
Be obsequious, purple and clairvoyant

Be pompous, obese and eat cactus
Be dull and boring and omnipresent
Criticize things you don't know about
Be oblong and have your knees removed

Be tasteless, rude and offensive
Live in a swamp and be 3-dimensional
Put a live chicken in your underwear
Get all excited and go to a yawning festival

-Steve Martin

― weatheringdaleson (weatheringdaleson), Monday, 29 September 2003 02:21 (twenty-two years ago)

these all sound like HORRIBLE advice. Sting's best advice was clearly "Don't Stand So Close To Me."
-- Anthony Miccio (anthonymicci...), September 28th, 2003.

Once again, shut the fuck up.

― wangsta, Monday, 29 September 2003 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

DAMN! Chaki beat me to "never drive a car when you're dead"! So instead I'll use "never drive a car when you're dead"'s understudy, "don't shit where you eat" (Ween).

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 29 September 2003 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

that was Ween?
I had that on a mixtape my hippy friend Dan made for me, and I always though it was Grateful Dead for some stupid reason.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 29 September 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

"Don't Use Shower" - () - Minutemen

"Good Advices" . R.E.M.

― dave225 (Dave225), Monday, 29 September 2003 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

"Don't believe the hype"

― My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Monday, 29 September 2003 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

"Satan sucks, but your the best"
-Cub

― PeterALopez, Monday, 29 September 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

good old jarvis. always worried about the ladies
"No don't go round to see him tonite, he's already made such a mess of your life.
Find something else to do with your time do it quickly while you've still got the chance."

― Felcher (Felcher), Monday, 29 September 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

John Martyn's "May You Never" is movingly fulla all sorts of ol' simple advice - to his son.

One is inclined to think 'fcourse that Martyn senior wasn't exactly too good at following (any of?) those lines himself.

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Monday, 29 September 2003 21:37 (twenty-two years ago)

"Kings & Queens" by KILLING JOKE

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 29 September 2003 22:08 (twenty-two years ago)

"What's the point in being rich if you can't think what to do with it?" (yeah, strictly speaking it's a question, but good advice lies within)

But tell that to Girls Aloud and they won't listen.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Monday, 29 September 2003 22:59 (twenty-two years ago)

BBD - poison, "never trust a big butt and a smile". oh wait, thats CRAP advice.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 00:20 (twenty-two years ago)

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