I'm Excited About Xmas Singles Chart. No, Not The Actual Chart But William Bloody Swygarts Rundown!

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I hope I get all the presents wrapped in all the excitement.

Father Christmas, Sunday, 21 December 2003 12:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Off to a GREAT start - Erin Rocha new at #36, just as I'm upstairs trying to put the Sainsbury's stuff away. I have no idea what she sounds like. Deeeeeesaster.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Bryan from Westlife has just tipped Avid Merrion for #1, and now Wes is playing Madonna's single in full. Mmmfle.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

And our Erin isn't on Soulseek...

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 16:48 (twenty-two years ago)

So now I'm having to install Kazaa. Grr.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

For those in the prediction league - Madonna was #33.

And Kazaa is having problems with Erin too...

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 16:55 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, Search for Erin Rocha returns no results.

The Sun is offering a phone line to listen to the Erin Rocha single at 60p/minute.

Fucking Sainsbury's...

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

And at #29, it's G-Unit.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

William JUST MAKE IT UP!!!

Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

What I have found out:

Erin is 16 and from Dorset. She recorded the song while on work experience. She was recently in a school production of Romeo and Juliet. Judging by the picture on her website, she is tiny.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah dude that's your review right there

(this is bringing back bad memories of trying to review Erin McKeown while knowing nothing about her)

Ferrrrrrg (Ferg), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, sorry about that one.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Still, at least you actually had her songs...

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Is this more of the 'new crooning' Alexis Petridish was on about?

Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

She's a bit short for all that.

Here's Billy Mack at #26.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, I concluded it like 'It's quite good, this!' or something, so I suppose I dragged the quality of the publication down in revenge. Unless you didn't run it. I wouldn't've.

Ferrrrrrg (Ferg), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Promotional Campaign For Erin Rocha (in a just world)

"16 year old Erin recorded her single on work experience in Poole."

"In Dorset?"

"I'd recommend it to anyone."

Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

You are rather overestimating our quality control there. This may have been the same week I took eight hours to write 150 words on the Majesticons, concluding something like, "Oh, look, El-P. I think I heard one of his records once. 8/10".

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

And here's the Fast Food Rockers at #25.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

William phone The Sun and I will send you the £1.80 it costs to listen to the tune!

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Fast Food Rockers = most redundant band name ever now? Even worse than Steps after they gave up line dancing?

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

That's not lack of quality control, that's 'endearingly haphazard!'

Ferrrrrrg (Ferg), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick - fear not. Events earlier today might have provided me with a convenient fix...

There was a headline on Ceefax news last night about the Lebanon, referring to 'fast food bombers'. That confused me a bit.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Wee Kev is #23. Not that that matters, but hey! Wee Kev!

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Right, the shit off Starsailor has just tipped Mad World for #1. Come on you Lowestoft spandex monsters!

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Girls Aloud are #20. UB40 are #19.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Mighty Evs #18.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Katie Melewurrgh #17.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

For no apparent reason, Outkast go up 6 to #16.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Cheeky Girls #15.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:34 (twenty-two years ago)

if you are still looking for the erin song
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/chart/top40/
& click on 'listen' next to song for 30sec soundclip

zappi (joni), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Tried that. Real Player is being a shit about loading it, though.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Westlife #14.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Cliff Richard #13.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Ultrabeat new at #12.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Blue, Stevie Wonder and Angie Stone new at #11.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

In Prediction League news, Ultrabeat gave Alex 10 points, putting him in the lead by two points... this rundown is nailbiting in more ways than one...

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Here comes the top ten... sharp intake of breath...

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

So to defuse the tension somewhat, the next song will be Michelle from Pop Idol's new single.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

What does she think will be Christmas number one?

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

He hasn't asked her who she thinks will be Christmas number one.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Blue, Stevie Wonder and Angie Stone new at #11.

wtf?!

jed (jed_e_3), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

She sounds a bit like Brianna Corrigan.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

And she's just left. Just like that. Wes says nothing. To quote Bennet:

You didn't even thank her
You're a wanker

Sugababes new at #10.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Shane Richie #9.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Atomic Kitten new at #8.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Black Eyed Peas #7.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Faster! Faster!

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Will Young #6. Now we're hitting the business end, and Dizzee Rascal has picked Merrion for #1 too.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:19 (twenty-two years ago)

The Prediction League rests on the top 5.

#5...

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Merrion is #4.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

#3 - Kelly & Ozzy.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Which doesn't make much difference to anything. Except this is where Alex picked Gary Jules to end up. FD had him at #2.

So if Gary Jules is next, Flowersdie has won.

If The Darkness are next, we go into Basil Brush-oriented extra time.

Which I never thought I'd type either.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Y'all ready?

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Your Xmas #1...

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

is...

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

THE DARKNESS!!!!

FLAT CAP WINS!!!

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

huzzah!

lid, Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

twinkly prettiness wins out for xmas no.1 again! (much like spice girls' two becomes 1)

lid, Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:38 (twenty-two years ago)

It all came down to the last record, but our winner is Alex - He's fourteen points up, and even if Basil Brush was #49, he picked him at #48.

Thus, Alex In Yorkshire Somewhere is, once more, ILM King Predictist. Well done him.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:39 (twenty-two years ago)

oooff....

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Right, it's Christmas as of... now. Whoo.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait for the heartbeat to return to normal. Then think of something to say about the Darkness.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Then something to say about Gary Jules.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Blimey.

I remember when he was 50/1 an' all. Bugger.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Worst No.1 of the year :(

Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:42 (twenty-two years ago)

you have heard Changes?

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Not yet actually. But it can't be worse. The Gary Jules record hits all three of my most hated things about pop music right on the button.

Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Wes points out that the real winners are Radio 1. Yes Wes. yes, you are.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm really surprised you hate "Mad World" Tico, apart from the flat cap I can't see what there is to hate about it. Alex Parks' version is better though.

The Lex (The Lex), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

"Changes" is worse. Much, much worse. Ph3Ar it.

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Tanya's reaction.

The Triple Wrongness of Mad World:

1/ Assumption that slower = more meaningful.
2/ Assumption that higher voice = more meaningful.
3/ Assumption that meaningful and sad > frivolous and danceable

It's also a cover not being as good as the original but that's a minor sin.

Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

a crap year has been capped! (haha)

jel -- (jel), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

OK small mercies time: he didn't ruin "Pale Shelter".

Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

1/ Assumption that slower = more meaningful.
2/ Assumption that higher voice = more meaningful.
3/ Assumption that meaningful and sad > frivolous and danceable

I said these exact three things to someone just this afternoon.

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Those assumptions are very wrong but I don't think "Mad World" assumes any of them!

The Lex (The Lex), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

The Darkness meanwhile work on the MUCH BETTER assumption that higher voice = funnier. Which it is - Aled Jones!!!!

Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

WES IS PLAYING "WHERE IS THE LOVE" AGAIN.

CUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNT

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

odds for xmas no.1 from 3 months ago

gary jules not even in the running!

zappi (joni), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

anyway the Cheeky Girls were robbed.

jel -- (jel), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

right on, The Lex!!

where's the love Y'ALL?

lid, Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:53 (twenty-two years ago)

HE'S ALREADY PLAYED IT IN THE ALBUM CHART FOR FUCK'S SAKES.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:53 (twenty-two years ago)

The Darkness also work on the false assumption that poodle-haired metal = funny and/or listenable!

High voices are only funny when they're not meant to be and even then it's only point-and-laugh funny.

William's rundowns make me so glad that I boycott Wes.

The Lex (The Lex), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:54 (twenty-two years ago)

And now - HAVE YOURSELF A DAVE PEARCE CHRISTMAS!

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Wes is hideous.

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Bah Humbug.

Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:56 (twenty-two years ago)

TS: Wes v Tim Kash

AAARGH

The Lex (The Lex), Sunday, 21 December 2003 18:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess Tears for Fears will be putting together a new greatest hits albums now. I wonder how Gary Jule's album will do?

jel -- (jel), Sunday, 21 December 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Shudder to think. The title is something like 'Trading Snakeoil For Wolfskin'.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

T4F were meant to have a new boxed set out earlier this year anyway, but I don't think it ever emerged.

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Sunday, 21 December 2003 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

HMV 2 for £22 sale by April.

jel -- (jel), Sunday, 21 December 2003 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Or #1 in the album chart for 6 months.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

not a chance!!!

jel -- (jel), Sunday, 21 December 2003 19:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Do not count your chickens. If I remember right, the import version was very high in Rough Trade's end-of-year sales chart.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 19:10 (twenty-two years ago)

God I hate Dave Pearce.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 19:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuck this shit, I'm listening to Scooter.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 19:19 (twenty-two years ago)

are those assumptions assumptions?

cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 21 December 2003 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

surely Gary Jules doesn't exist - it's Michael Stipe operating in disguise ?

DJ Martian (djmartian), Sunday, 21 December 2003 19:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Also, spare a thought for Lisa Maffia, whose single would appear to have missed the top 75 entirely.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 21 December 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

haha I'm sure dave q is happy.

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 21 December 2003 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)


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