Worst Singles of 2003>

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Two tracks have shocked and sickened me this year, namely Lemon Jelly's "Nice Weather for Ducks" (music for students who rename their SU from "Mandela Bar" to "Des Lynam Lounge") and The Good Charlotte's "Hold On" (mawkish claptrap, which I can only imagine would drive any would-be suicide further to the edge)

Your candidates?

― Ben Dot (1977), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Anything that any 12-year-old may have been crazy about for approximately 2 weeks before getting tired of it.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Pass The Dutch, Milkshake, 21 Questions, American Life, Never Leave You (Uh Oh).

― Al (sitcom), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 16:12 (twenty-two years ago)

"trouble" is all i can think of at the moment

― mitch, Wednesday, 31 December 2003 16:45 (twenty-two years ago)

"American Life" and "White Flag" are the only songs bad enough to make me want to articulate my loathing for them.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

1. outkast - "hey ya"
2. a simple plan - "perfect"
3. room 5 - "make luv"
4. britney spears feat. madonna - "me against the music"
5. metallica - "st. anger"
6. missy elliot - "pass that dutch"
7. cold - "stupid girl"
8. black eyed peas - "where is the love?"
9. evanesence - "bring me to life"
10. nasir jones - "i can"

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I suppose Dave Matthews' "Gravedigger" is just as bad, but there he's trying to unburden himself with the non-charisma that made him a star, so I feel like patting it on the head for good intentions.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 16:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Why don't you like "Milkshake" Al?

― Mark (MarkR), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 16:59 (twenty-two years ago)

um, because I don't like the beat, lyrics or melody?

― Al (sitcom), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

And?

― Mark (MarkR), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

"I Can," definitely

― Sam J. (samjeff), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

and what?

― Al (sitcom), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Jess's list is nearly perfect.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

hardly. I don't think "worst" is synonymous with "most disappointing."

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

also: the glaring exception of "Hey Ya!"!!

I forgot about Simple Plan's "Perfect." That is one heinous song.

― Sam J. (samjeff), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Nothing Al, just playing around. For whatever reason Milkshake seemed like a song you would like (not sure where I got that idea.)

― Mark (MarkR), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:04 (twenty-two years ago)

That said I'm happy to see Simple Plan get some hate. The rest that I've heard (I still haven't heard Britney & Room 5) are way too fascinating for me to see them as being the worst out there this year.

Also, where's maroon 5?

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh and "American Life" is truly horrible. I haven't heard "White Flag" yet.

My definite vote for worst song of the year is Maroon 5. easy.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:07 (twenty-two years ago)

"worst" does not necessarily = "not fascinating"

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

my "relationship" with "hey ya" is easily the most conflicted i've had with any song in a looooong time and i've certainly thought about it way, way more than any of my favorites from the last few years with a few exceptions.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd like to add Jet, "Are You Gonna Be My Girl." Though I guess that's more a purely personal dislike (i.e., I guess I could understand other people liking it/not minding it - unlike Simple Goddamn Plan!)

― Sam J. (samjeff), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, Jess, I know there's a lot of history there... (I had to stop reading those Outkast threads after a while, though they were truly interesting.)

― Sam J. (samjeff), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

(fer instance if "hey ya" was a b-side or an mp3 curio i downloaded in april and not the world crushing hit it has become, it would never have topped my list. ditto "pass that dutch". stuff like the cold song is personal dislike, especially since there's nothing defining about the song itself. a simple plan are just fucking awful, yes.)

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

dont forget 'like a stone' by audioslave.

my coworker plays kroq all the time and that POS single would sneak up on you every time when that heinous guitar solo kicks in.. (shudder)

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Stacy's Mom. Creepiest rock band operating today releases creepy single accompanied by creepier video.

― dlp9001, Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I like the chorus of Evanescence's song (I want more male-female duets in nu-metal), their new "My Immortal" seems much more deserving of the worst single nod. I definitely don't get the "I Can" hate (goddamn that'd be like hating an elementary school talent show!). "Stupid Girl" would definitely qualify in my top ten worst videos but the song itself has a Weezerian pomp to it that I can't dismiss. And "Where Is The Love?" chorus reminds me of Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn," which makes me happy for some reason. I like "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" at the very least because it implies that after the White Stripes and QOTSA there are gonna be more bands on the radio with a decent rhythm section and less hateful lyrics. "Like A Stone" has that AWESOME Brian May-stylee guitar solo and would be awesome in its entirety if Rod Stewart was the singer and lyricist.

Possible worst singles votes from me (undoubtedly I'm forgetting stinkers from earlier in the year, which is always a problem with these lists. The truly awful stuff isn't heard much):
Maroon5- "Harder To Breathe" (fuck it I'm gonna keep saying it)
3 Doors Down - "Here Without You"
Nickelback - The one that rhymes "on your knees" with "favorite disease." ew ew ew.
Trapt - "Headstrong"
Christina Aguilera - "The Voice Within," "Beautiful"
Three Days Grace - "I Hate Everything About You"
Audioslave - "I Am The Highway (Tom Cochran's Gonna Ride Me All Night Long)"
Counting Crows & Vanessa Carlton - "Big Yellow Taxi"
The choruses of Pharrel's "Frontin'" and Snoop Dogg's "Beautiful" (paging Gene Ween...)

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

probably something by Jet or Rooney or some other "single" that I can't even remember hearing.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yeah! Rooney! Kings Of Leon too.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

"Where is the Love?" definitely. Was that Saliva song that goes "I LOVE YOU, I HATE YOU, I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU" from this year?

― Mike Ouderkirk (Mike Ouderkirk), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

That's not Saliva that's Three Days Grace I believe. The only Saliva song I know I can't hate because when he sings "did it make you feel like more of a man?" I can't help but think I'm hearing the first openly gay nu-metal smash.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

room 5 - "make luv"

this is a good record!

― gareth (gareth), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I kinda think so too but why wouldn't I.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

No, that's Saliva. Thre Days Grace is "I.... HATE... EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU, SO WHY.... DO.... I LOVVVVVVE YOUUUUUUUUU." Either one makes my bottom five list.

― Mike Ouderkirk (Mike Ouderkirk), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

See, I don't even notice those generic-sounding rockers enough for them to register... And yet I've heard them both, a number of times.

Hey, I forgot "Shake Ya Tailfeather"... every time I heard that damn Bad Boys police siren last summer, my teeth would clench in anticipation... (And I usually like Nelly and P. Diddy.)

― Sam J. (samjeff), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 18:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I actually like the dunderheadedness of those "rockers," to be frank. I can even sort of appreciate Nickelback, for their furrowed-brow, hardworking approach to big crap Hot AC rock songs. But 3 Doors Down, "Here Without You"... yeesh, get the sledgehammer. (And it was particularly widespread.)

― Sam J. (samjeff), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Ill go w/ the obvious Limp Bizkit "I'm going to eat you alive" just terrible music for jocks, rapists and rednecks and the video had Thora Birch in it which made me regret ever masturbating to her image.

When I first listened to the Hey Ya single at the local college radio station early this summer I thought it was the greatest thing ever, and then I was tired of it and by that point the song was everywhere. Still its a great song.

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 20:22 (twenty-two years ago)

How anybody can name "Hey Ya" as the worst single of 2003 is beyond me. What didn't you like about it?

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 20:44 (twenty-two years ago)

"The Remdedy (I Won't Worry)" by Jason Mraz. Kind of like David Gray coming round to your house to beat you to death with his rejected lyrics notebook.

NB: this song only wins because, as far as I can actually tell, "Face Down Ass Up" by Deja Vu has not been released in any form except to DJs. This song makes me want to set fire to nightclubs.

Dishonourable mentions: "Business" Eminem, "Are You Gonna Be My Girl?" Jet, "You Said No" Busted.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 20:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Ooooh! I totally forgot about "The Remedy"! Jason Mraz solely exists to make John Mayer sound impressive. Sort of like Simple Plan to every other pop-punk band ever.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 20:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't decide if I hate Jason Mraz's music, or if his music's OK and I just hate his incessant goofy mugging in his videos. And the to-the-side trucker cap! Jesus!

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Well he won't worry his life away so don't you do it either.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

It doesn't look like his brain holds enough neurons to enable the kind of brooding self-consciousness that "worrying one's life away" demands.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 21:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Whenever I Say Your Name - Sting & Mary J Blige

― bahtology, Wednesday, 31 December 2003 22:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I forgot about that Jason Mraz song too!! (I didn't realize I had so many hated singles in '03.)

More I hated in that genre:

"Amazing," Josh Kelley

"Why Don't You and I," Santana feat. Alex Bland (?)

― Sam J. (samjeff), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 23:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I can sort of understand why some folx hate on "Hey Ya" -- it's fucking bizarre on so many levels; Sly Stone dry-humping Pete Shelley.

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Thursday, 1 January 2004 00:11 (twenty-two years ago)

(me, I like fucking bizarre shit, and it baffles/thrills me when it catches on big time; see also Aqua Teen Hunger Force [also from Atlanta].)

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Thursday, 1 January 2004 00:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Unkle Kracker's cover of "Drift Away," by far. Followed closely by Good Charlotte's "The Anthem."

― My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Thursday, 1 January 2004 02:14 (twenty-two years ago)

"Make Luv" is awful because it's such a dry and bloodless rendition of phased-disco-pop that it makes the entire prospect of phased-disco-pop seem really tiring and not worth bothering with. Plus the enforced jollity of the vocals ("I like to party! Everybody does!") is not at all matched by the negligible arrangement. I guess I feel about it the way Reynolds feels about "Shake Ya Tailfeather" for similar reasons. But "Shake Ya Tailfeather" is better cos it has Murphy Lee (would "Make Luv" be better if it had Murphy Lee on it too I wonder?).

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Thursday, 1 January 2004 04:39 (twenty-two years ago)

But Tim, it is a nicely produced house track. I kinda tried to dislike Make Luv and yes it is the most obvious (hit the public) version of so many other songs I/we love, but nonetheless it's like eating a bar of delicious chocolate. gareth's french house radar agrees.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 1 January 2004 05:09 (twenty-two years ago)

i dont think the vocals are forced jollity though, he seems kind of ambiguous, almost resigned, more like "well, of course i like to party, don't you? I'm in Miami, its 1978, what else am i going to do?", more a chronicler than a rabble-rouser

― gareth (gareth), Thursday, 1 January 2004 11:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey guys! Any of you heard the news? It's all sampled (ripped off completely) from Oliver Cheatham's early 80s disco classic "Get Down, Saturday Night" which is a proto-disco pop hit anyway. Go to the source and be inspired. I, too, agree it was lame catchiness with one hook being milked beyond the Nth degree, but then, so is are most club tracks nowdays. Arguments over this track seem moot when there's much more lame-ass tracks to fry in '03 than his. I don't even know where to begin with this..... what about tracks by, err, Amity Dry, Lisa Maffia, Nickelback, and surely Ja Rule's swiping of Toto's "Africa" is fucking top-notch crapola?

― herbalizer12 (herbalizer12), Thursday, 1 January 2004 16:18 (twenty-two years ago)

"I Believe In A Thing Called Love"

Also that Gareth Gates charity thing was particularly noxious.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 1 January 2004 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

What of Fannypack, Cheeky Girls and Guy Sebastian?

― herbalizer12 (herbalizer12), Thursday, 1 January 2004 16:59 (twenty-two years ago)

10. Darryl Worley, “Have You Forgotten?” – Take this mob and shove it.

9. Madonna, “American Life” – Madge! You’re soaking in it!

8. G-Unit, “Stunt 101” – Fitty jumped the shark.

7. Hilary Duff, “So Yesterday” – You can hire six producers (if you wanna). You can disguise your dire voice in studio effects (if you wanna). You can say this is a song. But I’ve heard enough.

6. Lumidee, “Never Leave You – Uh Ooh, Uh Oooh!” – A voice so hollow as to be vacuous, a tune so minimal as to be nonexistent, a beat so repetitive as to be plodding. Of course it went Top Ten.

5. Erick Sermon, “React” – “Whatever she said, then I’m that,” he opines as a refrain – well, sorry, but she said that you’ve become a chucklefuck and that if you don’t speak the language, you hold no currency.

4. A Simple Plan, “Perfect” – Worst Charlotte.

3. Toby Keith f/ Willie Nelson, “Beer for My Horses” – “Oh boy! It’s the ‘string up the coons!’ song!”

2. MVPs f/ Stagga Lee, “Rock Ya Body ‘Mic Check 1, 2’ ” – The inept rapping of the pointless Stagga Lee was the second-most hapless effort of 2003.

1. Fabolous f/ Tamia, “So Into You” – Guess what was first? The murky molasses of Fabolous, whose fumbling flow is easily the worst thing to happen to hip-hop since Ma$e left his Harlem World behind. Adding insult to ineptitude, the lyrics in this beastly tune had absolutely nothing to say – and said it repeatedly. “I can’t explain,” each of them coos about fourteen times, which seems explanation enough. And perhaps the worst feeling of all is the suspicion that the otherwise talented Tamia will use this track’s success to settle into a comfortably snoozy career as some insular label’s hook-wench.

― Joseph McCombs, Thursday, 1 January 2004 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

"Do It With Madonna" by The Androids

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 1 January 2004 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes indeed.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 2 January 2004 00:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes "Do It With Madonna" definitely!

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Friday, 2 January 2004 00:50 (twenty-two years ago)

What disappoints me about "Hey Ya" is its great verses in search of a chorus, which never really comes, but I imagine this subject has been argued to death elsewhere...

― Pete Scholtes, Friday, 2 January 2004 14:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I like "Hey Ya".

Every body does...

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 2 January 2004 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

i vote The Androids or Counting Crows

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 2 January 2004 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

"Runnin' (Dying to Live)," Tupac f. The Notorious BIG.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 2 January 2004 15:58 (twenty-two years ago)

deffo in agreement with the androids mention .. along with all the punk pop overload thats was thrown up in the last 12 months .. bowling for soup/good charlottes etc ..

― mark e (mark e), Friday, 2 January 2004 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Kenny re: Uncle Kracker: definitely.
Also:
Fischerspooner - "Emerge"
Blur - "Crazy Beat"
Jewel - "Intuition"
Taking Back Sunday - "Cute Without the E"
50 Cent - "P.I.M.P."
Train - "Calling All Angels"
Stephen Malkmus - "Do Not Feed the Oyster"
Sunday Driver - "Forever Again"
Li'l Jon and the Eastside Boyz - "Get Low"
Jack Johnson - "The Horizon Has Been Defeated"
Trapt - "Headstrong"
Liz Phair - "Why Can't I"
Foo Fighters - anything, really
AFI - "Girl's Not Grey"

There are a few hundred I'm forgetting here...

― Lewis J. Bateman (Lewis Bateman), Friday, 2 January 2004 21:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Also worthy of a mention: "Bhangra Nights" by Husan. "Dey look good, like say dey from Bollywood". Yeah, thanks.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 2 January 2004 23:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Despite my fascination with the production style, the sound of her voice, and the sheer nutty force of her personality, I have to admit that as an attempted chart-topper, "American Life" is a flop. I do like a lot of other stuff on the album though. I think the reaction to the title track was so strong nobody wanted to touch the rest of the album at that point. They eventually got around to releasing "Nothing Fails" as a single... did it make any impression on the charts? And will Mirwais ever work again?

― Sean (Sean), Saturday, 3 January 2004 00:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Stereophonics - Madame Helga.

There can be no argument whatsoever over this one.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Saturday, 3 January 2004 00:54 (twenty-two years ago)

You are all wrong:

"God Bless the USA" by the American Idol Season 2 Finalists.

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Saturday, 3 January 2004 01:02 (twenty-two years ago)

"Where Is the Love," no contest. Elephunk is easily the worst pop album of the year, too.

― M Matos (M Matos), Saturday, 3 January 2004 01:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Live "heaven"
fucking awful, dreadful song.
That Nickleback song mentioned above.
Train "calling all angels"
Ataris "summer of '69"

― chad (chad), Sunday, 4 January 2004 10:13 (twenty-two years ago)

three weeks pass...

Remedy
Calling All Angels
American Life
PIMP
Dutch
Big Yellow Taxi

...you people know your stuff,

regards,

REB

― Rik E Boy (Rik E Boy), Friday, 30 January 2004 03:39 (twenty-two years ago)

"Stereophonics - Madame Helga.

There can be no argument whatsoever over this one."

also whassup w/Kelly Jones' sideburns? Had he watched "America's Next Top Model" he'd know they'll only make him look shorter, and he really can't afford that.

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Friday, 30 January 2004 04:18 (twenty-two years ago)

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