On this thread, personal requests to artists

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Dear Daft Punk - MORE PLEASE.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 06:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Darkness - STOP THAT, IT'S SILLY.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 06:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Jennifer Herema - GET WELL SOON.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 06:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear all Rappers/R&B singers - STOP "FEATURING"

― Jole, Wednesday, 28 January 2004 06:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Kanye - FICKLE FICKLE FICKLE

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 06:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Jack White - IF YOU INSIST ON NOT HIRING A BASSIST, THEN PLEASE, DO NOT OVERDUB BASS PARTS FROM WHICH THAT YOU PLAYED AN EFFECTED GUITAR.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 06:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Neptunes,
Cool out

― David Allen (David Allen), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 06:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Kate Bush - When?

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 10:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Phil Collins,

Please get your arse back behind that drumkit and keep it there.

Thank you,

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 10:49 (twenty-two years ago)

ha.

PS - Remember when you were friends with Eno? It wasn't because you could be maudlin.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 10:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Frank Black -

Please hire a producer.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 10:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Oi, Sting,

http://www.ananova.com/images/web/42234.jpg

NO!

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 11:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Kenny G,

Please take your saxaphone and....

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 11:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Q Tip, please work with Timbaland.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 11:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Melissa Auf Der Maur, please can I have sex with you.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 11:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Kelly Jones, well I think that's enough now don't you?

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 13:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Britney, in your new video for Toxic, please flash a little beav.

― Chris V (Chris V), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 13:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Lee Perry, let me shake your hand

― mentalist (mentalist), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 13:36 (twenty-two years ago)

... like a polaroid picture.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 13:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Killing Joke -- Stop talking about it, and just do it. Get thee back to the studio. And how about re-releasing/re-mastering the older stuff, eh?

Dear Stranglers -- C'mon, you know you suck without Hugh, as he sucks without you. Let bygones be bygones and call each other up.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 13:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Wedding Present - REFORM AND DO ANOTHER ALBUM WITH STEVE ALBINI PLEASE THANKYOU

Also..

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/100302/dear-chan-marshall.gif

― Stupid (Stupid), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear The Wedding Present - REFORM AND DO ANOTHER ALBUM WITH STEVE ALBINI PLEASE THANKYOU

Also..

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/100302/dear-chan-marshall.gif

― Stupid (Stupid), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Wedding Present -- Yeah, what Stupid said, only forget the Steve Albini part!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

"Dear Melissa Auf Der Maur, please can I have sex with you.
-- Dom Passantino"

Don't you mean:

Dear Melissa Auf Der Maur, please wash.

― Stupid (Stupid), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

"Dear Wedding Present -- Yeah, what Stupid said, only forget the Steve Albini part!

-- Alex in NYC"

D000000d you're missing the point: Seamonsters owns everything.

― Stupid (Stupid), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Kennedy vs Dalliance

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 14:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Dalliance by a very wide margin. The songs on Seamonsters are just so much more beautiful than all the other songs he's ever written. Throwing apple pies at him would be fun though.

― Stupid (Stupid), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

My response....

In Praise of....Bizarro by the Wedding Present

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Lou Reed,

Pretend that CDs can only hold 45 minutes of music. Please knock it off with the silly "my guitar's in the left channel and his guitar's in the right channel" silliness. Try singing again. I know you're self-conscious about it, but you sing better than you "rap." You might think about retiring the shiny leather pants, too. What's wrong with jeans?

And I don't care what anybody else says, I think you and Laurie make a cute couple. In an appropriately creepy way, of course.

Thanks.

― Salmon Pink (Salmon Pink), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear RZA. Please return to your mid-90s production levels. Or let the Wu legacy go gravefully, without it being further degraded by hopeless hangers-on.

― paulhw (paulhw), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Michael Gira,

Please stop playing country music.

Love, Stupid.

― Stupid (Stupid), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Boards of Canada,

please let someone re-release some that stuff you put out before you had a proper record label. It's a fuck of a lot better than Geoggadi.

Thanks!

Someone with ears...

(PS - if you can't be bothered, can you at least burn me a CD with Wouldn’t You Like To Be Free? on it?)

― Nope, Wednesday, 28 January 2004 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Bob Seger,

Please sell "Like A Rock" to Chevrolet outright, and invest your profits in remastered REISSUES of your old OLD stuff, so that folks outside of the Great Lakes region can discover (or rediscover) its continued vitality.

― Scott, Wednesday, 28 January 2004 20:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Mark Sandman,

Stop being dead.

Sincerely,

your biggest fan, Nickalicious

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Beastie Boys,

Stop.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 20:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Cee-Lo,

Please send me a cd-r of your new record, since we both know that it's not actually going to be released. I have enclosed $16.

Also, please make a whole record with Timbaland and either Rebirth Brass Band, Soul Rebels Brass Band, or Lil' Rascals Brass Band. You know it would be heavy.

Love,

Jordan

― Joren Cohdan (Jordan), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Mountain Goats,

Please stop by New Orleans on this tour.

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Mountain Goats,
Thanks for coming to Bloomington! I really can't wait!

― Sonny A. (Keiko), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Me,

Please come to New Orleans with Mama Digdown's Brass Band for Mardi Gras and Jazz Fest.

Jordan

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Jordan,

No prob. Anything for you.

Jordan

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear The Offspring,

Turn off the lights when you're finished. Thanks!

― Johnny Fever (johnny fever), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

To Max Martin, Timbaland, Stargate and The Neptunes: PLEASE STOP WRITING FOR OTHERS. Release something yourselves instead. If people can't write their own stuff, then they don't deserve to sell records. Keep all the income from your hits for yourselves instead.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 23:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Neko Case,
please come and live in my bedroom so you can sing me to sleep every night.

thanks,
me

― Blood and sparkles (bloodandsparkles), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 23:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Sarah Cracknell,

Marry me.

― daavid, Wednesday, 28 January 2004 23:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear mr. Vikernes,

get yourself together, lay low for a while, let your hair grow, practice your devil horns sign, get out of jail, buy a guitar and head straight for the Grieghallen studios. All will be forgiven.

Bang Your Head For Satan,

Siegbran

― Siegbran (eofor), Thursday, 29 January 2004 00:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Bardo Pond,
A non-album tracks compilation. My money is waiting.

― Leee Majors (Leee), Thursday, 29 January 2004 00:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear autechre,
Enough of the algorithmic techno. One album was enough.

― Leee Majors (Leee), Thursday, 29 January 2004 00:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Aaliyah,
Come back to life.

― Leee Majors (Leee), Thursday, 29 January 2004 00:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Bill Berry,

Shave that thing.

― may pang (maypang), Thursday, 29 January 2004 00:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Jim White,

when I make my record, would you play drums on it. kthxbye. --yr fan

___

Dear Shannon Wright,

if it's not too much trouble, could you release that album already, please, and do a headlining tour so I don't have to feel let down and bored when your set is over.

impatiently,
me

― Blood and sparkles (bloodandsparkles), Thursday, 29 January 2004 00:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Busta Rhymes,

Every now and then, say "No."

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 29 January 2004 00:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Beck,

Remember the mid '90s, before you started singing all Nick Drake pretty-like? Can you try that again?

Sincerely,
yr only ILM fanboy

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Thursday, 29 January 2004 01:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Giorgio Moroder,

Are you familiar with Kylie Minogue?

Yours,
Nate

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Thursday, 29 January 2004 01:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Bardo Pond,
A non-album tracks compilation. My money is waiting.

Seconded!!

Dear Halo Perfecto: How about a 7" of the songs that didn't fit on the LP?

― Ian Johnson (orion), Thursday, 29 January 2004 05:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Damon,

Please do me...and make this album better than the last one please.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 29 January 2004 05:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Jane's Addiction. Before you go back into the studio please play some of your old stuff and realize why you guys shouldn't bother making any more records.

― J-rock (Julien Sandiford), Thursday, 29 January 2004 09:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Pixies,

Do not go through with this reunion unless you are 100% sure that you can pull it off. I am running out of heroes.

― J-rock (Julien Sandiford), Thursday, 29 January 2004 09:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Mr Hongro,

Gee you're right there. I'm just gonna have to give all my undeserved earnings away.

Yours,

Elvis Presley
Frank Sinatra
Billie Holiday
virtually every Motown act
etc.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 29 January 2004 11:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Beatles,

Your albums are dippy hippy old fart crap. What year do you think this is, 1974? You should get down on the 8bar tip, get Wiley to produce you instead of stupid old Air Force grandads. Ringo ain't got no riddim!

Yours respectfully,
Simon Heffer

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 29 January 2004 11:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Marissa,

Chill out.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 29 January 2004 11:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Ringo,

Please send Marcello a postcard, plead with him to stop and smell the roses. Please.

Yours,

Minnie Mouse

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Thursday, 29 January 2004 11:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Madonna,

Time to change that image again.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 29 January 2004 11:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey Britney,

Please stay away from Madonna (at least until she follows the advice above).

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 29 January 2004 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Ringo,

I wish to congratulate you on your splendid 1981 album Stop And Smell The Roses. Why its attendant single "Wrack My Brain" was not that year's Xmas number one I shall never fathom. Long may you pound!

Yours tangentially,
Mark Ellen

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 29 January 2004 12:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Al B. Sure,

WTF dude. Please come back.

― Chris V (Chris V), Thursday, 29 January 2004 12:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Britney,

I hear you wanna lose control.

Come over here I got summink to show yer.

― Madonna (mark grout), Thursday, 29 January 2004 12:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Colm O'Ciosoig,

C'mon!!!!!

Ciao,
Chainsmoker

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Thursday, 29 January 2004 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Mr Kevin Shields,

New sheriff in town.

Bye bye,
Pluramon

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 29 January 2004 15:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Pluramon,

You're not all that. You're good though.

Signed,
Me

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 January 2004 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Damon Albarn:
This just in- you are WHITE. There's nothing you can do about it :)

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Thursday, 29 January 2004 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Aw Nate, I can't imagine you being more of a Beck fanboy than me! I've made multiple b-sides comps! When I get drunk and lonely I play songs off of One Foot In the Grave on guitars slightly-out-of-tune in the Beck stylee! I went as Beckzilla for Halloween one year (going as just-plain-Beck wasn't convincing cuz I'm like 4 times his height)!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 January 2004 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Evanescence,

VANISH ALREADY!

thanks,

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 29 January 2004 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Middle Hanson,

Please actually have been a girl all along. U R HAWTT.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 January 2004 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Mike Patton & Dan the Automator & Reprise Records,

WTF with Peeping Tom already? You had it pegged for release last spring you asshats!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 January 2004 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Michael Jackson,

Just admit it.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 29 January 2004 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

...sex is violence?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 January 2004 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

There's no sex in violence.

--Gavin Rossdale

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 29 January 2004 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Michael Jackson,

Tell us where you put the real Michael Jackson.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 January 2004 18:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Nick,

Check his ass.

Love,

Tito.

― Chris V (Chris V), Thursday, 29 January 2004 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Prudence,

Won't you come out to play?

Love Paul.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 29 January 2004 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Wasn't it John that asked that question?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 29 January 2004 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

AW SNAP!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 January 2004 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Merle Haggard,

Don't die.

M@tt

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Thursday, 29 January 2004 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Tom Waits,

I know you've had some bad experiences, but there are some of us out here who would really REALLY REALLY love to see you in concert at least once in life. C'mon dude, step right up.

- Nickalish

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 January 2004 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

For Tonight And Beyond:

Dear Simon LeBon,

Please don't do anything completely stupid at tonight's concert. Like "play" that annoying harmonica of yours, for example.

Dear Andy Taylor,

At this stage of the game, I am just going to tolerate you. It will take an awful lot of impressing for you to win me over.

Dear John Taylor,

Welcome back. Why on bloody earth didn't you take Patty Palazzo with you and demand that Katy Krassner be given the boot, hmm?

Dear Roger Taylor,

I will do my absolute best to not make you wish you were back on the farm raising sheep. I do not make promises for the rest.

Dear Nick Rhodes,

Please demand to perform "Medazzaland" by yourself. Please stop dating worthless socialities. Please get back with Madeleine.

― Mellow Dee (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 30 January 2004 08:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Eminem,

Instead of always dissing your mom, ex-wife and Moby(?!), why don't you try picking on somebody who might actually come back at you?

― J-rock (Julien Sandiford), Friday, 30 January 2004 08:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Blonde Redhead,

Please make a last minute decision to come to Milwaukee on your new tour. Sunday, April 4th would be perfect, thanks.

― Chris F. (servoret), Friday, 30 January 2004 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear trent reznor,

"Bleedthrough"? WTF?

P.S. release it sometime this century, and those of us who are left might buy it.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 30 January 2004 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Janet,

Can you take some heat off of me? Thanks.

― MJ (Leee), Monday, 2 February 2004 21:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Creed,

Do sod off.

― Jesus (Leee), Monday, 2 February 2004 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Mark Sandman,

Nickalicious is full of it.

Kephm

― kephm, Monday, 2 February 2004 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Polly Harvey,
please go back to writing faux-naive Biblical character studies and playing guitar on stage, and please lose the Prada.

thx
blood and sparkles

PS: on the other hand, maybe the moment is kind of over... never mind. *sigh*

― Blood and sparkles (bloodandsparkles), Monday, 2 February 2004 22:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Evanescence, a girl/boy duo covered your big hit at the local karaoke at the pub last night. Then there was a sixty year old man who sounded exactly like Tom Jones and sang 'Kiss' (the Art of Noise Version), while gyrating his pelvis. He won. I wish you could've been there.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 2 February 2004 22:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Alexi Sayle,

Didn't you kill my brother?

― mentalist (mentalist), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 05:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Psuedo Echo

Please re-form. Your music is once again fashionable.

― mentalist (mentalist), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 05:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Ben Folds Five, Ben Kweller and Ben Otherguy,

Please fight to the death.

XOXOX,

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 05:46 (twenty-two years ago)

white stripes get a new drummer lol my 3yr old nephew could do better lol

― Emma williams (Emma williams), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Madonna.....

Please stop rolling around on the floor. It's not sexy anymore, just silly.

Oh, and stop attempting to act.

Oh, and one more thing: everyone's really bored with your fascination with the Kaballa and all that. If you like it, that's fine....but howabout shuttin' up about it? It's a real fun-killer.

Cheers,

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Fiddy

Please go to Norway and sort Geir out.

Thank you.

― *, Tuesday, 3 February 2004 20:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I like Emma.

As for me, hm.

Dear Herschell Gordon Lewis:

Get "The Pill" licensed in some new movie somewhere that's going to be a huge hit. The world needs laughter.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:24 (twenty-two years ago)

white stripes get a new SINGER- love, the Von Bondies

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Mike Skinner out of the Streets,

Please call your new single 'You're Fit And You Know You Are' and not 'You're Fit But You Know It' or 'She's Fit But She Knows It'.

Thanks.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Stylus
Keep up the good work.
your fan joel

― Jole, Wednesday, 4 February 2004 04:10 (twenty-two years ago)

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