"Musicians wanted" type ads that make you want to hurt people

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Inspired by this one which as I type is sitting around the top of the page:

I mean it's not *that* bad but it's the sort of thing you know is going to add nothing to the world of music beyond a few CDRs waiting to be turned into landfill.

On the other hand, my local indie shop's messageboard has an ad from someone wanting to form a band influenced by "The Darkness, Electric Six, Tenacious D and Steve Coogan" at which point I think it's claw hammer time.

I'll be impressed if anyone can beat that for all out shitness. Depress me.

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 29 January 2004 15:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Uhh, 85% of bands don't do it for YOUR pleasure.
Do you get upset over people posting ads for slo-pitch teams?

I'm only being half-facetious here.

― Huck Me Gently (Horace Mann), Thursday, 29 January 2004 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I have no idea what a slo-pitch team is and am swelling with pride about the other 15%, but carry on

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 29 January 2004 15:16 (twenty-two years ago)

http://gwpgrafix.allcanadiansport.ca/siteImages/System/bs_slide01.gif

― Huck Me Gently (Horace Mann), Thursday, 29 January 2004 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Bands that mistake "I like" with "influences include". Specifically with local metal bands and Bjork.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 29 January 2004 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I see. Well, I probably wouldn't be led to think, "oh jesus, this sounds like it's going to be the shittest and most uninspired slo-pitch team ever, and if they ever do get off the ground in three months' time they're going to ring me up and try and make me watch them play"

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 29 January 2004 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

"Singer looking for guitar, keys, bass, drums."

Translation: I don't play anything, and I can't get into an existing band, so I'm looking for minions.

"Must be dedicated."

We haven't played a note of music yet, and we haven't even said hello to each other yet, but you have to be willing to sign on to this project for life.

― Rick Massimo (Rick Massimo), Thursday, 29 January 2004 15:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember seeing this musicians wanted sign in a record store a few years back. I don't remember it exactly, but it was along the lines of:

Do you play an instrument?
Do you wanna be in a band?
Call me. I'm tired of drinking alone.
You can make all the decisions!

― George Foreman Grill, Thursday, 29 January 2004 16:56 (twenty-two years ago)

fuck, re-reading that thread...if i was if John B (who posted the ad) I'd be either so demoralised, or so pitying of the mean-spirited, pedantic ilxors.

― paulhw (paulhw), Thursday, 29 January 2004 22:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't you know that ILXOR stands for "Crushing People's Dreams One Thread At a Time?"

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 29 January 2004 22:50 (twenty-two years ago)

hey, at least i'd go to jersey city for the rehearsal!

― jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 29 January 2004 22:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I like to add "...and Timbaland" to the end of all mine. I imagine this makes people want to hurt me.

― Sonny A. (Keiko), Thursday, 29 January 2004 23:11 (twenty-two years ago)

So including The Shaggs as an influence is no longer de rigueur for indie hipsters?

― nickn (nickn), Friday, 30 January 2004 02:47 (twenty-two years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.