Busted vs. Keane

i've seen copies of Keane's two pre-Fierce Panda EPs go for fucking stupid money on ebay. their hardcore fans are a curious breed.

you love it because keane are like outdoor sculpture. designed by the record company and a and r to be loved by all. inoffensive and bland.

omg, nick. its just common knowledge.

The kind of people Keane are aimed at are suspicious of gorgeous people, for possibly obvious reasons.

you're fired.

You know, I've had this exact same fantasy - that Busted will tire of the teen-pop market and become relentlessly experimental, consuming huge amounts of lsd and withdrawing from touring in exchange for artistic integrity... well, I can dream...

At the beginning of last summer I was forced at jobpoint to take a car journey with an A&R guy from one of the big megagiants of the music industry and a certain guy who'd been on Top of the Pops a bit to go and do something somewhere.

Over the long, long, long, journey we covered many topics, including a hilarious converstation about "music downloading on the net", why exactly Pete Tong was STILL so very vital (I was biting my fist by this point) and upcoming bands. A&R (who was wearing a trucker hat and a t-shirt advertising an 80's toy range, I shit ye not) stuck the Keane demo on the stereo, it was currently the "hottest" thing doing the rounds.

The debate that was raging was wether or not they should be forced to have a guitarist join the band as the mighty brains above were unsure whether Joe and Jenny CommStudies104 would take to them if they didn't have at least some guitars on there. I can't remember what the Hat and the Twat thought exactly as I was too busy singing the bassline to Love Your Money by Daisy Chainsaw over and over in my head in some attempt to keep my sanity. The bands choice of first single had already been discarded in favour of that monstrosity that came out a while ago.

Next up was how they were being promoted. Keane were to play as many Student Balls as possible, although it was important to make sure they were not exclusively Grad balls as what was required was return custom from Joe and Jenny. Yes, they hooked up with David Sneddon's management to do this.

But really. The simple fact is that they're on a promotional arc, as every band is whether big or small. Yes, they're manufactured in the sense that they have come from nowhere to going on a carefully selected promotional plan. But what else do you expect? They signed the big deal so they're getting the big treatment.

There's hate to fire off here, but not at Keane themselves on the grounds of "being manufactured". Pudding faced chumps they may be, aural candyfloss they maybe, but they're just going through what you've got to do if you want your band to be superhuge these days. Don't bother going and gigging, mixing with different bands or doing anything organic and ground level. Your big labels aren't looking there. What they want is a demo that sounds 90% like last years thing, they want you fresh with absolutely no knowledge of how "der biz" works, and they want you, erm, keen.

If you want to direct your hate somewhere then direct it at the process. Then come to the realisation that its YOU, yes that's YOU reading THIS that should do something about it. Now that the Great Indie Label Buyout has run its course and everyone is owned by the same three moneyliths there is absolutely no structure in place for the kind of organic non-manufactured additive-free music of which you seek. There aren't the labels, the venues, the press, the promoters and this has had enough time to settle now that there isn't the AUDIENCE for it. Them there kids aren't looking, they know not of this organic music of which you speak. This situation ain't going to resolve itself on its own. Your choice is either to continue to sit in the gallery shouting at the stage or get out there and do something. Your choice.

(all that being said, i've got a nerve to say that, seeing as i am rather transparently a certain R. Carmody)

There are still plenty of genuinely independent labels putting out great, indifferent and shite music, Kanye fan. Also, I hear there's this thing called the Interweb where lots of completely independent artists can get worldwide exposure for their music without even pressing it on plastic discs.

When John Squire formed The Seahorses he auditioned dozens and dopzens of singers, drummers and bassists.

So how the hell did he end up hiring those pot-plants?