Couples: have you become solely responsible for buying new music?

Our tastes are almost mutually exclusive. She doesn't like most of my music and I don't like most of hers.

He's gotten me onto a few things, neither of us are mad-obsessive purchasing types though.

She regularly suggests things that she thinks "we" (i.e. I) should get (actually we've got into the habit of her reading the reviews section of Q, Mojo and Ucunt every month with this in mind).

At a guess I'd say: 25% of the time I've (sorry, "we"'ve!) already got it; 25% of the time I've already ordered it / decided to order it; 25% of the time I subsequently order it because she's right - it does sound interesting; and 25% of the time I decline to order it because I know or am convinced that it's going to be shite.

If I decline to order something then very, very occasionally, she'll do herself.

I think the last time this happened was when "we" (no, no, not "we" damn it - I'm not accepting reponsibility for this! - she acquired a Nickelback album.

A car CD player actually makes a fantastic birthday / Christmas / anniversary / "look, OK, I fucked up again and I'm really, really sorry" present.

I got major brownie points for buying my partner one last Christmas!

No, really, think about it, is that great or what? You buy a CD player for her car because you're sick of not being able to play your CD's when you're in it.... and she's grateful because she thinks you've been thoughtful!

And as if that wasn't good enough, how about this for being able have your cake - complete with cherry, cream, icing and hundreds-and-thousands on the top - and eat it: being able to play your CD's in her car means that you can use her car more often.... which means she ends up paying for more of the petrol!

Fiendishly brilliant, eh?

How often do you get offered a win:win like that?

On the other hand, car CD players can be quite expensive; so if you don't use her car that much yourself....

Probably because the only CDs HSA gets are ones that are sent to him for free!

Honestly, the last time I can remember him buying a CD (except for the CDs he bought me for my birthday, when he was sent to HMV with a shopping list) was about a year ago. He bought crap and I laughed at him.

HSA said that he'd never met anyone who was as much of a music snob as I was. Heh heh!

But the thing is, usually I'm right. He likes or at least doesn't hate about 75% of the things that I get. I like about 5% of the things that he gets.

(done this already). We've changed 'her' car three times now. her last car I did this with, it's now at her dads awaiting CD unit removal before selling for what we can get for it. My first CD unit is in't garage. Another new CD unit (making three) would not go down well.

But ta, anyhow.

I made a (Busted) compilation CD for my old housemate in NYC, and she wrote back saying "this CD makes me wish that I could drive!" And I understood exactly what she meant, but now it seems like a weird thing to have said.

shit, do i live a secret life?

even if i started listening to stuff out loud, it'd need to be vetted... i can't imagine exposing my two year old to wolf eyes or hell even jay-z yelling "fuck!" into the mic... can't have the lad yelling, "fuck!" as a catch phrase...
m.

Aaaah yes, I think I've had this debate in the past...

"But if you don't listen to things, how are you ever going to get to know the lyrics?!?"

shit, do i live a secret life?

This is becoming my life story as well. With the arrival of our little critter, the opportunities to blast, say, "Bomber" by Motorhead or "Out of My Mind on Dope & Speed" by Julian Cope or "Pssyche" by Killing Joke at paint-peeling volumes have become rather scarce. Probably the burliest listening we're able to manage falls somewhere worryingly in the Style Council/Elliott Smih area, which I find rather distressing. I now live for my iPod.

"WE...ARE....GOING...TO...DO....A.....WARDANCE!"

Surely there are worse fates.

I know. I was agreeing with you, although no one should listen to Dashboard Confessional. Not even in jest.

I don't imagine it's going to go down all that well in certain quarters if she wanders 'round singing":
"Look at the controller
A nazi with a social degree
Middle class hero
Rapist with your eyes on me
You beast for masturbation
A preacher to the nuns you fuck
You'd wipe out spastics if you had the chance
But Jesus wouldn't like it - No!"

"Hello, hello, hello, this is the Lord God, can you hear?
Hellfire and damnation's what I've got for you down there
On earth I have ambassadors, archbishop, vicar, pope
We'll blind you with morality, you'd best abandon any hope,
We're telling you you'd better pray cos you were born in sin
Right from the start we'll build a cell and then we'll lock you in
We sit in holy judgement condemning those that stray
We offer our forgiveness, but first we'll make you pay"

for when she meets the pope?

Heheh -- Jim O'Rourke sold me some Arvo Part discs of his years ago precisely because he was doing just that phase of a move-in/LTR situation.

i like going to shows without her. it's sort of my version of bowling. i get out there. hang with my friends. talk shit. blow off steam. same with being in bands. it's my alternative to shooting hoops with the guys.

in fact, she's only seen one performance of any of the bands i've been in.

yeah... secret life.
m.

My wife does some of the heavy lifiting by listenting to the radio and telling me what songs are gonna be hot or at least whatsongs are interesting. Usually she'll tell me a few of the lyrics, then I head to the nt and look 'em up and then make the appropriate purchase/download.

I just moved from San Francisco to L.A. at the start of this year, and with all the hustle and bustle I hadn't bought anynew music since December (??!!!). I made up for that this weekend at Amoeba. With a vengence-- at least that's how it probably felt to my bank ballance. I told my wife and she twinged a little bit but then I explained that I hadn't bought anything since December so it all evened out. She agreed, which is why i love her so.

Car listening is definitely different than house listening, she'll get grumpy listening to my stuff after awhile and vice versa. This despite the fact that our tastes are generally compatable. I like to torture her on Saturday mornings with 70's and 80's hits on vinyl and so far Boston, Bread and America have been banned. She tends to like (tolerate?) most of it though, and I can get bonus points for playing Devo, Talking Heads, etc.

Last week she came home with the Nellie MacKay CD after hearing a song on the radio. I was impressed.

Yeah, but she generally prefers the radio anyhow...

She likes a lot of alterna-metal, which I can enjoy on a basic level. She can't stand most of the stuff I really like and I gave up trying to turn her onto it a long time ago. I don't even talk about the stuff I'm looking forward to getting, making it impossible for her to know what to get me for holidays and my birthday unless I make a list.

On the plus side, she's gone to concerts with me that I never expected her to, even when the artists in question weren't her thing and/orwound up being way less killer live than I made them out to be.

Our tastes aren't exactly compatible...I like or at least tolerate nearly everything she listens to, and then I go off and buy a bunch of weird shit that she hates that I listen to in my car or room. She tends to stay in certain phases of listening; I approve of the current Tatu kick, but I'm a little Nick Cave-d out, for example.

I think the last time this happened was when "we" (no, no, not "we" damn it - I'm not accepting reponsibility for this! - she acquired a Nickelback album."

NEWS FLASH: She came home this evening with the Joss Stone CD.

Haven't heard it yet so unsure whether it's going to be quietly added to "our" collection, or held up to ridicule on the interweb as another example of why CD purchasing really should be left to those of us who possess the appropriate levels of knowledge, experience and OCD; however my initial reaction is to fear the worst!

Thankfully there was no need to cull our record collections for duplicates. The only CD we both owned was a Chemical Brothers CD, and his was badly chipped, so we kept mine.

Well, yes, yes, when you put it like that, I suppose I really am rather lovely - but thank you for noticing and mentioning it Alex!

the only CD overlap we had was "Exile in Guyville" until one copy was mysteriously borrowed by a neighbor