Let's Make Fun of Pitchfork Writers' Names

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Names like Rollie Pemberton and Andy Beta to begin with. Special mention for Stephen M. Deusner, which, if pronounced "Doys-ner" just sounds weird. And were Judson Picco, Mark Pytlik, Nikhil Swaminathan, and Sam Ubl born to Scrabble champions or something? Who are these fucking people?

― Freddy Got 'Forked, Monday, 26 April 2004 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

regulars going anonymous to post questionable screeds, c/d?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 26 April 2004 20:50 (twenty-two years ago)

and what kind of name is strongo hulkington or Freddy Got 'Forked or Anthony Miccio anyway

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 26 April 2004 21:00 (twenty-two years ago)

let's not and say we did.

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Monday, 26 April 2004 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

how long can this go on?

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 26 April 2004 21:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Ryan Schreiber called "Teenage Riot" a "landmark track" today. I hate him.

― NUMBER 1 TERRY RILEY FAN (ex machina), Monday, 26 April 2004 21:08 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG CHRIS OTT WTF IS HE AN OTTAR OR SOMETHIN !!!! LOL

― Dean J Peretz (deangulberry), Monday, 26 April 2004 21:08 (twenty-two years ago)

GBV BREAKS UP, CLAIM MARKET TOO DILLUTED WITH WOLF EYES CDRs

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 26 April 2004 21:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I like Anthony's suggestion. A "Let's Make Fun of ILM'ers names" would be more interesting.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Monday, 26 April 2004 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah but half those guys are ilm'ers!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 26 April 2004 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

oy vey.

― cutty (mcutt), Monday, 26 April 2004 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I think everyone who writes or ever wrote for pitchfork should be required to have this next to their name on EVERY POST EVER on ILX.

http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/~bpantano/GIFS/fattyfatfatfat.gif

― NUMBER 1 TERRY RILEY FAN (ex machina), Monday, 26 April 2004 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Why would that be then?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 26 April 2004 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

because it's a funny random .gif, don't you see?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 26 April 2004 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah but half those guys are ilm'ers!
Yes, hence, we cover all the bases by getting to make fun of them plus all the other writers from all the other print and online mags plus all the wannabe writers plus all the googlers plus all the occasional posters ...

... uh, or let's not and say we did.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Monday, 26 April 2004 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

exactly!

― NUMBER 1 TERRY RILEY FAN (ex machina), Monday, 26 April 2004 21:22 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/~bpantano/GIFS/truffle.gif

― NUMBER 1 TERRY RILEY FAN (ex machina), Monday, 26 April 2004 21:24 (twenty-two years ago)

hmm, chunk is not so fat in retrospect.

― cutty (mcutt), Monday, 26 April 2004 21:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, America's childhood obesity epidemic has made the standard fat kid character much less funny.

― Magic City (ano ano), Monday, 26 April 2004 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know about any of this, but right now I'm listening to Parallax Corporation's "Lift Off" and both Chunk and the little fat girl above are GOIN' OFF!!!!!! Oh- now it's moved on to the track "Crocodiles in the sky" and the groove has totally lost Chunk, but the little fat girl is definitely doing a surreal electro bounce. This is the shit.....

― js, Monday, 26 April 2004 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah I'm listening to Napalm Death's "Scum" right now and it looks like they're going crazy to the music!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 26 April 2004 22:03 (twenty-two years ago)

My real name's Roland. I'm thinking of using that soon.

― Rollie Pemberton (Rollie Pemberton), Monday, 26 April 2004 22:17 (twenty-two years ago)

no way! you hang in there rollie, dont change it. you might want to have a look at "pemberton" though because i have a MASSIVE problem with that.

― Flotsam of the Fishfolk (Flotsam of the Fishfolk), Monday, 26 April 2004 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

this is some laurence fishburne type shit.

― cutty (mcutt), Monday, 26 April 2004 23:08 (twenty-two years ago)

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 26 April 2004 23:35 (twenty-two years ago)

who is who?

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 26 April 2004 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

i am spartacus!

― chris andrews (fraew), Monday, 26 April 2004 23:46 (twenty-two years ago)

HI JON YOU SEXXXXY BITCH

http://www.angelfire.com/tn/bargay/images/spiderman.gif

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 26 April 2004 23:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I so hope David's gif is a scene from the new Spiderman movie.

― Jonathan (Jonathan), Monday, 26 April 2004 23:55 (twenty-two years ago)

No one's touching "DiCrescenzo" then, I see.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 26 April 2004 23:56 (twenty-two years ago)

sadly, no one's touching pytlik either.

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 26 April 2004 23:57 (twenty-two years ago)

i regret that already.

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 26 April 2004 23:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Nope, it's my real name. Well, it was lengthened when my family came over from Czechoslovakia.

― Sam Ubl, Monday, 26 April 2004 23:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Ryan Schreiber called "Teenage Riot" a "landmark track" today. I hate him.

why?! Of all the objectionable things printed on that site, this strikes me as the most benign.

― djdee2005, Tuesday, 27 April 2004 00:02 (twenty-two years ago)

mark p, you regret the lack of touching?

― Jonathan (Jonathan), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 00:02 (twenty-two years ago)

It's certainly a lot less awful than that dismissive comment about Iron Flag. Idiots.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 00:03 (twenty-two years ago)

"Babies" ranks up w/ their best material.

― djdee2005, Tuesday, 27 April 2004 00:06 (twenty-two years ago)

"Unmade Bed", an early leaked track from the record, unbelievably suggests that the band stands to follow Murray Street with a record just as strong.

Ryan Schreiber? More like Ryan Can't-write-very-well-er!

― Sym (shmuel), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 00:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Rollie, you have the best name ever. please understand that anytime I refer to you by a variant such as Rolex Pimpatron, it is done out of complete respect.

― Al (sitcom), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 03:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Hahahahaha

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 03:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Not many rock bands manage to parallel the heights of their back catalog this far into their career-- and obviously, their chances of creating another landmark track on par with "Teenage Riot" is slim-to-none. But "Tom Violence"? Maybe. May they still be as strikingly melodic in 2027. [Ryan Schreiber; April 26th, 2004]

(Hongro!!!!) I admit I've never been a huge Daydream Nation fan, but I think picking this song as the best of classic period SY is the indie version of the ponces on VH-1 saying how great the first track on Nevermind is! (I'd take pretty much anything from EVOL over this.)

― NUMBER 1 TERRY RILEY FAN (ex machina), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 04:11 (twenty-two years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.