Artist bios: who needs 'em?

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If you ever get sent free albums by record labels/promo people, you know what I mean: one or more sheets of paper with a completely useless, psychophantic artist "biography". Who writes these things? (And how much do they they paid?) Why do the things hardly ever contain any useful information?

― JoB (JoB), Monday, 24 May 2004 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Who writes these things? (And how much do they they paid?)

Chuck Eddy has a few experiences from the eighties he can tell you about.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 24 May 2004 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

i believe they help quite a few rockcrits to pay the rent.

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Monday, 24 May 2004 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

that and selling plasma.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 24 May 2004 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

"When [CRITIC'S NAME WITHHELD] heard he could make money, lots of money, by selling his kidney, it seemed to him the opportunity of a lifetime. For a desperately ill 48-year-old woman in Brooklyn whose doctors had told her to get a kidney any way she could, it was."

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 24 May 2004 18:19 (twenty-two years ago)

TS: getting a rock critic's kidney vs. getting a convicted murderer's kidney.

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Monday, 24 May 2004 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

the murderer's might have less alcohol damage.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 24 May 2004 18:22 (twenty-two years ago)

and the rock critic's might have more damage from having to hold it in every night at crowded shows in dark clubs with insufficient bathrooms.

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Monday, 24 May 2004 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Even worse: DJ bios. *shudder*

― jeffery (jeffery), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 03:42 (twenty-two years ago)

The pre-famous Jewel one pager was one of the most hysterical things ever. I wish I still had it.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 03:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I wrote a couple of them for bands I work with - finding EXACTLY the same words on the music magazines reviews gives you that certain twisted pleasure...

― Marco Damiani (Marco D.), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 13:37 (twenty-two years ago)

agreed on liking it when people quote your press releases.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Thursday, 27 May 2004 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

It means you're dealing with a crap journalist, though.

― JoB (JoB), Thursday, 27 May 2004 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Or it means they've got better things to do than think about your crap-ass band.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Thursday, 27 May 2004 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

'psychophantic' is spelt wrong, but makes a cool metal album/song name.

― Sasha (sgh), Friday, 28 May 2004 02:05 (twenty-two years ago)

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