jamie cullum - twentysomething, or OH GOD MOMMY MAKE IT GO AWAY

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

I regret to announce that I misspoke when I called the crow ost the worst record i have ever heard.

this is far, far worse.

a collection of standards ("singing in the rain", "i could have danced all night") and erm uh um "modern classics" ("high and dry", "lover you should have come over") all delivered in the same beyond bland cocktail jazz supperclub style, devoid of even gloss, making the best western lounge band sound ellingtonian. all sung in the flattest, most personality devoid, shrugging, "swinging" vocal style i have ever heard. it all climaxes, amazingly, impossibly, with a version of "frontin" that actually manages to be worse than the original.

compared to this guy stephin merrit is sylvester and norah jones is ari up. it's so aimless, unengaging, tuneless, tossed off, plodding, pointless. it sounds like some art-project/joke run amok. i suspect the british are responsible. please explain to me the reason for this existing.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 24 May 2004 20:56 (twenty-two years ago)

naturually it will sell a shit load.

are all people named jamie twats?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 24 May 2004 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

the cover of frontin' does it all really. nasty.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 24 May 2004 21:00 (twenty-two years ago)

saw him on Conan O'Brien last week. I must kill him.

― Morley Timmons (Donna Brown), Monday, 24 May 2004 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

seriously: jamie oliver, jamie cullum...jamie lee curtis is okay i guess. kind of annoying.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 24 May 2004 21:02 (twenty-two years ago)

my brother's name is Jamie. He's a pretty good guy. But I insist on calling him James.

― Broheems (diamond), Monday, 24 May 2004 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

hulkington the man responsible for Jamie Callum's success is called Michael Parkinson

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Monday, 24 May 2004 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

You've not heard Michael Buble yet.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 24 May 2004 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

here is his bio

http://www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/biographies/biogs/tventertainment/michaelparkinson.shtml

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Monday, 24 May 2004 21:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Cullum on the left, Parkinson on the right.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 24 May 2004 21:04 (twenty-two years ago)

i hope they both get parkinsons!!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 24 May 2004 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm pretty sure I was the first person to rail against the evils of Cullum on ILM. And, yes, Strongo, you really do need to hear his take on "Frontin'". It's just fixatingly awful.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 24 May 2004 21:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Of course, irony of ironies, Michael Parkinson's most famous interview was with Muhammed Ali.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 24 May 2004 21:07 (twenty-two years ago)

there's a creepy chickenhawk feeling to that photo

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 24 May 2004 21:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Out of view in the photo: John Culshaw sucking Parkinson off.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 24 May 2004 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

this sort of thing is while i'll never ever be able to get my head around british pop

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 24 May 2004 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

British pop explained:

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/popidolwilliam/surfwill.jpg

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 24 May 2004 21:19 (twenty-two years ago)

But it's tasteful. Yeah.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 24 May 2004 21:26 (twenty-two years ago)

He should be shot for naming an album "twentysomething".

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Monday, 24 May 2004 21:30 (twenty-two years ago)

even Carter had the good sense to skip a decade

― Morley Timmons (Donna Brown), Monday, 24 May 2004 21:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Will's got a Morisseyesque face there.

― de, Monday, 24 May 2004 21:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I was thinking more Kurt Angle.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 24 May 2004 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

the "high and dry" cover plays in my shop and every time i hear it i'm taken aback at how vile it is. i don't really hate any music anymore - but that one is just so limp and forgettable. it's awful. i haven't had this strong a negative reaction since i heard the (polished) black rebel motorcycle club's 1st record.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Monday, 24 May 2004 22:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow the hype machine's been firing on all cylinders today. I've seen the guy's mug at least 4 times since this morning, and I usually try to avoid TV...but that video alone...UGHHH

― Francis Watlington (Francis Watlington), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 01:39 (twenty-two years ago)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -
I have never laughed so much! (well maybe i have...)
I wholeheartedly agree with you! This album is worse than dire and only reflects poor market taste!!

― Blue Bird, Tuesday, 25 May 2004 05:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Jamie Stewart's also a twat, but in a good way (to me at least)

― Josh Love (screamapillar), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 05:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm with Swygart; Bublé is MUCH, MUCH worse. Cullum sounds like Dean Martin next to Bublé.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 06:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Wanting Jamie Cullum dead is sooooooo February.

― noodle vague (noodle vague), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 06:59 (twenty-two years ago)

He survived February, now May must take it upon herself to finish the job.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 07:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yeah, agreed, just pointing out to Strongo that some of us were hating on Cullum back in the day...

He really is a twat, isn't he?

― noodle vague (noodle vague), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 07:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Fifth of February.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 07:17 (twenty-two years ago)

While I'm on, can I also point out that Katie Mehlua (sp?) is a sack of festering shite too?

Thanks.

― noodle vague (noodle vague), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 07:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll feel a little guilty if this sad fop gets drunk and falls off a pier or something.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 07:23 (twenty-two years ago)

But he'd still suck.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 07:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't imagine him getting drunk and falling off a pier without his management's permission. And if he's holding Michael Parkinson's hand when he does it, I'm organising a street party.

― noodle vague (noodle vague), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 07:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought Cullum was shite around Christmas before last so I win. Well I would if I'd brought it to people's attention rather than just thinking it.

I partly share your bafflement re: British pop but what makes him especially worse than Harry Connick Jr?

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 07:49 (twenty-two years ago)

The fact that he never did "Recipe For Love.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 07:50 (twenty-two years ago)

As a Brit I would like to say: Jamie Cullum does not speak for us.

― noodle vague (noodle vague), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 07:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyway, isn't twottery a nationality all of its own?

― noodle vague (noodle vague), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 07:51 (twenty-two years ago)

i am godfather to a jamie

horse's head in strongo's bed soon

― zebedee (zebedee), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 08:23 (twenty-two years ago)

JAZZ SPAZZ FOREVA

― Fr4ncis W4tlington (Francis Watlington), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 10:57 (twenty-two years ago)

If Nora Jones or Joss Stone want to do a 'jazz' version of 'Love and Romance' the Slits, then I shall wait for to see and hear that one.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 10:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Katie and Jamie are going to release their version of "The Love Cats"! Oh joy.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 11:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Um, wasn't that really bad? Even by their 'standards'?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Re: the Cullum/Parkinson photo upthread. I know Parkinson is a bit hard up for work these days but becoming a ventriloquist at his age is a bit desperate... and his dummy is too creepy looking, it'll scare the kids.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 11:15 (twenty-two years ago)

AHH I JUST HAD A JAMIE CULLUM NIGHTMARE, STAY OUT OF MY HEAD YOU TALENTLESS TWAT

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 13:34 (twenty-two years ago)

whenever i see that evil humphead homunculus beat out some riddim on his piano i get so mad.....I QUITE FORGET MYSELF

― gj (squirrelbait), Friday, 28 May 2004 20:45 (twenty-two years ago)

haha glowing review/interview today in the one of the philly alt-weeklies. god, i need to get out of this town, asap.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 28 May 2004 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

EURGH. I don't blame you for anger and sorrow, that can only be crap. Dare you provide a link?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 28 May 2004 20:56 (twenty-two years ago)

five months pass...

I know I'm late on this, but that just means I had 5 extra months of a Jamie Cullum free existence.

I just saw him on Austin City Limits and it was drop-your-remote-horrible. I had to get online and see what the fuck he was about. Glad to see all the hate.

Right now he's on his piano stool pounding out the end of "The Wind Cries Mary"...

― Garibaldianne (Garibaldianne), Sunday, 31 October 2004 04:47 (twenty-one years ago)

http://publish.uwo.ca/~smjohn/site/Theatre/comicbookguy.gif

― Meme too! (Øystein H-O), Sunday, 31 October 2004 12:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I refuse to believe this guy will TRULY be successful in the US. Like Robbie Williams and god knows how many other artists that are big in the UK, when the major label stops spending money to create hype, America will scream "SOUTHERN MAN DON'T NEED NO NEIL YOUNG AROUND HERE ANYHOW!" and chuck this dick back over the atlantic. He has made me appreciate Coldplay. Their live set is evil but their singles have really grown on me and I can see why that succeeded in the US where Cullum will not.

If I had known about Jamie Cullum when I was in London I would have undoubtedly included him in my list of artists who will never be as big in the US as in the UK because they suck.

USA!

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 31 October 2004 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

five years pass...

In partnership with The British Legion, Decca Records have teamed up with The Sunday Telegraph to give you a never-before-released Jamie Cullum song, Vera Lynn's There's a Land of Begin Again

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/games/6506655/Free-exclusive-charity-download-Jamie-Cullum-singing-Theres-a-Land-of-Begin-Again.html

― James Mitchell, Monday, 9 November 2009 11:15 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/images/events/jazzawards/gallery_cullum.jpg
I like how Cullum's really stretching his neck here to make sure he gets in the frame.

― Ismael Klata, Monday, 9 November 2009 11:51 (sixteen years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.