omg alanis morissette has the best taste in boyfriends ever!!

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"Alanis Morissette has often written about affairs of the heart, but she's rarely written from the perspective of being in love, and she's certainly never recorded an album where she seems so in love and at peace as she has with her fourth album, So-Called Chaos. She doesn't hide her romance with Canadian actor Ryan Reynolds, perhaps best known as the title role of National Lampoon's Van Wilder, thanking him in the liner notes and alluding to their relationship throughout this romance-heavy record."

http://allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&uid=UIDSUB020404151435172515&sql=Aitozef5k3gf3

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 24 May 2004 22:43 (twenty-two years ago)

A whole record! And to think... this guy only got one lousy song.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 24 May 2004 22:45 (twenty-two years ago)

her next album should be called one guy one girl and a pizza place

― Patrick Kinghorn, Monday, 24 May 2004 22:45 (twenty-two years ago)

anybody else hear gunfire in their head when reading the song title "Doth I Protest Too Much"?

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 24 May 2004 22:48 (twenty-two years ago)

ooh, and I didn't even notice "Knees Of My Bees"! *reloads*

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 24 May 2004 22:49 (twenty-two years ago)

"the van of my wilder"

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 24 May 2004 22:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I once considered protesting Dave Coulier's house with a bunch of friends, just marching around with signs that said "Dave Coulier - kill yourself" and chanting the same mantra, and doing it with enough people to get on the news, and explain that our cause was that we wouldn't leave until he did so.

― David Allen (David Allen), Monday, 24 May 2004 22:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Alanis dated Dave Coulier?!?!

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 24 May 2004 22:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Wasn't that who "You Oughta Know" was supposedly about? (A small grey bit of mid-90s trivia I should have long forgotten.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 24 May 2004 22:55 (twenty-two years ago)

"The chorus to 'Knees of My Bees' doesn't sound much like 'tremble and buckle', it sounds for all the world like 'jambalaya, Bucko!'"

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 24 May 2004 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

(that's from the AMG review)

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 24 May 2004 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh God.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Monday, 24 May 2004 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Ryan Reynolds is the poor man's Matthew Lillard.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Monday, 24 May 2004 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

"The chorus to 'Knees of My Bees' doesn't sound much like 'tremble and buckle', it sounds for all the world like 'jambalaya, Bucko!'"

?? can someone explain, please??

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Monday, 24 May 2004 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Your search - "Alanis Coulier" - did not match any documents.

Suggestions:
- Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
- Try different keywords.
- Try more general keywords.

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 24 May 2004 23:00 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.snopes.com/music/songs/oughta.htm

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 24 May 2004 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the link's invocation of Carly Simon saddened me (it makes Carly seem like she's slumming).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 24 May 2004 23:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Well being mentioned in any article with Uncle Joey automatically brings you down a few notches. The man's like a vortex of suckitude, bringing down anyone unfortunate enough to be near him.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 24 May 2004 23:21 (twenty-two years ago)

And yes, no matter what he does or says he will always be "Uncle Joey from Full House".

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 24 May 2004 23:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Ryan Reynolds has a lovely upper torso. Respect to Alanis.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 00:24 (twenty-two years ago)

she's going out with ryan reynolds and her album is about him?! oh alanis, there'll never be another one like you

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 00:26 (twenty-two years ago)

he's canadian too you know!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 00:27 (twenty-two years ago)

from MTV.com: Alanis Morissette didn't have a scheduled performance at the Absolutely Fourth bar in New York on Monday, but gave one anyway — as "Tammy Reynolds." Dressed in disguise, the singer surprised patrons when she took the mic to sing karaoke.

― Al (sitcom), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 03:40 (twenty-two years ago)

what a tragedy

― amateur!st (amateurist), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 03:45 (twenty-two years ago)

they broke the mould with alanis!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:20 (twenty-two years ago)

The ironic thing is, if anybody questions whether it's them I'm writing about, that means
something in and of itself.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

did i use the wrong spelling of mould?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

lest you think she's stopped banging on about coulier (how cosmically awesome is it that his website is called cutitout.net btw), i present to you the lyrics from new song "this grudge":

Fourteen years
thirty minutes
fifteen seconds I've
held this grudge

Eleven songs
four full journals
thoughts of punishment
I've expended

Not in contact
not a letter
such communication
telepathic
you've been vilified
used as fodder
you deserve a piece
of every record

But who's it hurting now?
Who's the one that's stuck?
Who's it torturing now
with an antique knot in her stomach?

I want to be big and let go
of this grudge that's grown old
all this time I've not known
how to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us

Like an abandoned house
dusty covered
furniture
still intact
If I visit it now
do I simply re-live it
somehow gratuitous

But who's still aching now?
Who's tired of her own voice?
Who is it weighing down
With no gift from time of said healing

Maybe as I cut the cord
veils will lift from my eyes
Maybe as I lay this to rest
dead weight off my shoulders will rise

Here I sit
much determined
ever ill-equipped
to draw this curtain
how this has entertained
validated
and has served me greatly
ever the victim

But who's done whining now?
Who's ready to put down
this load I've carried longer than I had cared to remember

I want to be big and let go
of this grudge that's grown old
For the life of me I've not known
how to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

what is an "antique knot"?

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:28 (twenty-two years ago)

btw anthony can i borrow that gun now?

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, i couldnt keep reading past antique knot

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

for good measure, here are the lyrics from her latest single. the line about pizza boy seeing her dark is possibly her nadir. god i hate alanis.

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it’s going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you’ve never met anyone
who is as negative as I am sometimes

I am the wisest woman you've ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you’ve never met anyone as,
As closed down as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go

I'm the funniest woman you've ever known.
I am the dullest woman you've ever known.
I'm the most gorgeous woman you've ever known
And you've never met anyone as, as everything as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

And you’re still here
And you're still here...

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

i am having alex in nyc-worthy rage flashes over here. i think i need to go for a walk.

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I kept waiting for the line about cutting the cord to say something about "cut it out", or maybe a verse about his stupid Bullwinkle impression.

(x-post)

― Al (sitcom), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

canadian popstars are such hosers

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

can we start speculating on what second banana sitcom star Alanis will date next? is Chandler single?

― Al (sitcom), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe she'll "convert" jim j. bullock

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:40 (twenty-two years ago)

haha i was JUST going to mention boogie's diner

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:40 (twenty-two years ago)

"um, honey, i don't think that dress goes well with your dark"

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha oh shit

― Al (sitcom), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:43 (twenty-two years ago)

The key factor drawing these two together:

CANADA!

― Matt Sab (Matt Sab), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

people seem to walk on eggshells around her to preserve her self-delusion that she is an "intellectual" who writes "intelligent" music, a pose that dominates her appearances now. she really does give me hives.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 19:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Because they're afraid to say anything mean to her, lest she turn them into another hit song.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

it's like alanis is set on this narrative "pop songstress becomes 'cult' figure, proves her lasting worth in intelligent, searching acoustic songs of psychological intensity" despite the realities. every glance she makes, every posture, even the sheer wordiness of her music seems to point toward this wish.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

It's like she's trying to be Michael Stipe.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 19:30 (twenty-two years ago)

only hairier.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 04:10 (twenty-two years ago)

come on kids, just pause and remember the video for "ironic." it will be okay.

― reo, Wednesday, 26 May 2004 05:51 (twenty-two years ago)

dave coulier and ryan reynolds!!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 06:12 (twenty-two years ago)

two weeks pass...

more ick:

Ryan Reynolds proposes, Morissette accepts: ‘journey of evolving together’
TORONTO (CP) — Singer-songwriter Alanis Morissette and actor Ryan Reynolds are planning to tie the knot.
The Ottawa native told Us Weekly that Reynolds, her boyfriend of two years, popped the question on June 3. But the singer, known for certain angst-ridden songs inspired by failed relationships, has yet to set a date.
“I knew early on that he was someone I could spend the rest of my life with,” Morissette, 30, told the magazine. “I just feel like we’re family and we’re on this journey of evolving together. He’s courageous, he’ll talk about anything, he takes responsibility, he’s just unbelievable.”
Before Reynolds proposed, Morissette said he flew to Ottawa to ask her parents for permission — without her knowing about it.
“I was blown away,” she said. “I’m a stealth investigator, so it’s pretty hard to keep secrets from me.”
Reynolds, 27, got down on bended knee to present a 2.5-carat emerald-cut platinum ring that was designed with the help of jeweller friend in Los Angeles.
“We were at home,” Morissette said. “It was very simple, pure and sweet — and shocking!”
Reynolds, who has starred in Foolproof, School of Life and other films, is originally from Vancouver.

― Huk-El (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 18:58 (twenty-two years ago)

journey of evolving together

aka fancy talk for the Wonder Twins' powers activating.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 19:00 (twenty-two years ago)

How come they don't mention that he was Van Wilder?

― Huk-El (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I just feel like we’re family
That's gross.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

that actually seems cute to me, alanis notwithstanding.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 05:51 (twenty-two years ago)

you love alanis!!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 18:22 (twenty-two years ago)

amateurist loves alanis everyone!!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

her lyrics don't even rhyme anymore!

― Huk-El (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Insert joke / pun on "assonance" here.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

The Sun-Times Red Eye (tabloid) blurb on this did mention Van Wilder, so now maybe Huck can get some sleep. Morissette actually looked attractive in the picture too.

― Comment dits-on...eh... le NA? (Nick A.), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Canada is in denial about Van Wilder, yet we're soooooooooooooooooo fucking proud of Foolproof. No wonder this country's about to go down the shitter on June 28.

― Huk-El (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Alanis Morrissette is a stealth investigator.

― Brian Wilson (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG ALANIS VAN WILDER BABEEEZ

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Alanis Morrissette is a stealth investigator.

-- Brian Wilson (anthonymicci...) (webmail), June 16th, 2004 2:38 PM. (Anthony Miccio) (later) (link)
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that's just her wu-name.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 22:04 (twenty-two years ago)

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