Jewel in "not even an onstage nervous breakdown can save your career" non-shocker

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― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 04:30 (twenty-two years ago)

"I saw her live in Boston and it was the greatest show I’ve ever been to," Dion said. "I don’t know if she was having a nervous breakdown or what. She told everyone to stop looking at her teeth and look at her breasts."
Jewel was on stage for about an hour and played only four to five songs. Halfway through the show, Dion said Jewel began to talk about Zoloft and Paxil for about 10 minutes.
"I don’t know what that was all about," said Nicole Dion, who came from Canada to see the show. "I don’t know if she was on it or what. Maybe she didn’t take it."
Dion said Jewel stopped in the middle of her trademark song, "Who will save your soul," because everyone was singing along. "She said, ‘I would have never guessed you all know the words.’ I don’t know if she was kidding or what."

Nicole Dion said the entire experience made her no longer want to be a Jewel fan.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 04:31 (twenty-two years ago)

The best part of this is...

Dion said Jewel came out for an encore, but instead of singing one of her hit songs, she yodeled for a minute and then left the stage.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 04:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha. Jewel, Chan Marshall called. She wants her neuroses back.

(please forgive me, stockholm cindy)

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 04:40 (twenty-two years ago)

She cannot cling to those old dreams anymore.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 04:47 (twenty-two years ago)

i think you guys are being mean.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 05:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I think Jewel's fans deserve whatever insults she can hurl at them. I hope she keeps forgetting to take her Zoloft and Paxil and just starts doing crank all the time. Then you'll see some serious shit. Was that mean?

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 05:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Jewel, I hope you get better. Don't listen to these haterz. Knowing you have problems just like us 'regular folks' makes me an even bigger admirer or your work. Really, I celebrate your whole catalog.

One time I heard you bared your breasts in a movie and so I searched the internet for pictures of them because I always always curious what they looked like. Sadly, I could not find any naked pictures of your breasts. If you have any on your computer email me plz, thanks.

― randomgoogleresque (christhamrin), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 05:59 (twenty-two years ago)

bwahahahaha

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 06:05 (twenty-two years ago)

O’Donnell said the complaints he received enticed him to call Jewel’s management team.

"They basically told me that sometimes she does a lot of tongue-in-cheek humor during her shows," O’Donnell said.

― Baaderoni (Fabfunk), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 06:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Duh, didn't you see her ironic video where she danced around sluttily?

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 06:25 (twenty-two years ago)

haha other people's mental problems haha

oh wait, she made some boring music, fire away then.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 06:29 (twenty-two years ago)

making fun of musicians' mental problems, male or female, has been an olympic sport since the 60s. Cast the first stone, etc. etc. etc.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 06:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, but you guys, she was homeless. Shes been through a lot.

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 06:39 (twenty-two years ago)

(and she has bad teeth)

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 06:39 (twenty-two years ago)

What I find most amusing is the management's reaction and their obvious fear of getting a lawsuit on their hands..

"I feel bad for the fans that paid $40 because they wanted to be entertained. All I can say is that I hoped everyone a good time. And if they didn’t, I want them to remember we can’t predict what happens."

Oh really?

― Baaderoni (Fabfunk), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 06:40 (twenty-two years ago)

well this is like shooting fish in a barrel. What's Courtney up to this week?

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 06:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Didn't Fiona Apple and Mariah Carey cover the "crazy, troubled songbird" shtick already?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 13:13 (twenty-two years ago)

haha other people's mental problems haha

but does she have mental problems or is she just cashing in to what CL is doing to get attention (which isn't really bringing CL any revenue either)?

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 13:22 (twenty-two years ago)

She's no Marissa Merchant!

― Be sure to Loop! Loop, Loop, Loop. (ex machina), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 13:30 (twenty-two years ago)

In 1997 I saw Jewel perform at a "RealMedia" conference in California. I had figured that was kind of the end of the road for her.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

"Who will save your codec?"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 13:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Witnesses said Jewel went on a tirade of
insults from poking fun at fat people to
others with no teeth. At one point, she asked the audience to yell requests and then told them to
"shut the hell up."

Jewel, Neil Hamburger called. He wants his shtick back.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Nicole Dion said the entire experience made her no longer want to be a Jewel fan.

I love this sentence. It's as if it's somehow beyond her control, like she was a Jewel fan by her birthright or something.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:03 (twenty-two years ago)

$40 to see this snaggly toothed donkey? $40 in Hampton can get you a air brushed t-shirt with "House Of Pain" painted on it.

― Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:04 (twenty-two years ago)

"She told everyone to stop looking at her teeth and look at her breasts."

I keep reading this and trying to figure it out.

― Al (sitcom), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:08 (twenty-two years ago)

if her tits look anything like her teeth.....

― Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Somewhere Neil Strauss is fretting.

― dleone (dleone), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:15 (twenty-two years ago)

i like her teeth

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha... chan marshall called. that's funny.

Don't you think Jewel deserves every insult she gets, though? Changing her image from a pseudo-poet-homeless-indie-folkie to a slut-in-gucci-who-sings. She sold out to a razor company and has been going downhill ever since.

She's a year away from covering "The Thong Song."

― cramedog, Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

That would be great. Pop Jewel is way better (not good still mind you) than I-live-in-a-van Jewel.

I would be fucking pissed if I couldn't drink or smoke at a show so sympathy for Jewel fans is almost winning out against my kneejerk snickering at Jewel fans.

― adam (adam), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 14:59 (twenty-two years ago)

next album: "back to the van"
this kind of thing never gets old. anyone know where on the web i can find the infamous mariah trl breakdown?

― heywood jablomi (heywood), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I find this actually upsetting.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 17:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Nicole Dion: anagram of Celino Dion

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

but does she have mental problems or is she just cashing in to what CL is doing to get attention (which isn't really bringing CL any revenue either)?

Who's CL? Cyndi Lauper? (Or did you mean CM = Chan Marshall?)

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

courtney love

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Celine LeDion

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Ahh, reminds me of the minor stink a few months ago over this odd MTV appearance... [censored pics, somewhat safe for work]

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

w.t.f.!

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 17:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Holy shite....that's not too different from infamous CL "Wendy's bag" photo.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 17:30 (twenty-two years ago)

She told everyone to stop looking at her teeth and look at her breasts

I thought that was the main reason people went to her gigs.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 17:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yeah, Courtney Love. I am dumb.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

nickalicious otm'

(& chan writes much better music)

― kephm, Tuesday, 25 May 2004 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I hope she starts showing her breasts like Courtney Love. Hers are even better.

― shookout (shookout), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 18:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Does female singer mental breakdown = male guitarist airline meltdown?

― earlnash, Tuesday, 25 May 2004 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

"Hey Peter Buck, show us your tits!"

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey Yngwie, unleash the fookin' fury of your tits!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

On the new REM concert DVD Stipe keeps lifting up his shirt like he has them or something....

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

he's just imitating Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs...

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, backstage he tucks his penis under his legs and starts dancing around while Chelsea Clinton yells at him from a makeshit well to let her out.

It's really neat-o easter egg.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 21:08 (twenty-two years ago)

R.E.M. really should cover "Goodbye Horses."

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 21:09 (twenty-two years ago)

"makeshit well"!!!!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG,hhahahahahahah!!!!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 21:19 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm such a doofus!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

no, that made your post even better.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

"So you say you're a witch doctor with a secret tribal name." < / unPC >

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

the downside of all this is now I'm dreaming up an R.E.M. cover version of "Hip Priest" in my head. Fuck.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 21:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Especially if a leering Stipe tucks away his wang and fondles his boobs while doing so.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 21:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not gonna harsh on everyone's fun here, because the jokes don't really upset or offend me, but seeing Jewel flail like this does upset me a little. It's like more proof that you simply cannot reach a certain level of rock fame without cracking up.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 21:37 (twenty-two years ago)

and this is news?

― Kingfish Disraeli (Kingfish), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Holy shite....that's not too different from infamous CL "Wendy's bag" photo.

papa's got a brand new Wendy's bag

― captain gay, Tuesday, 25 May 2004 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

There must be some exceptions there Michael?

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 21:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Did Olivia Newton-John crack up? Anne Murray? Linda Rondstandt?

(I have no idea actually)

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 22:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Jewel: grbt boobs. And 'intuition' made me laugh more than any other song last year. in a good way.

― Gilles Meloche (Gilles Meloche), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 22:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Sarah Mclachlan?

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 22:18 (twenty-two years ago)

i mean, there's a tv personalities thread running too. we know that dan has had serious mental and drug problems over the past decade. but our tone is one of sincere concern, not of ridicule. what has jewel done to deserve the latter? made some music some of us find...dull?

insinuating that her "breakdown" was manufactured for publicity purposes seems hasty to me, too.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 22:38 (twenty-two years ago)

half of ilx being jewel fans - non shocker!

― doomie x, Tuesday, 25 May 2004 22:39 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm not a jewel fan FWIW

― amateur!st (amateurist), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 22:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think 3 people saying "I find making fun of someone's breakdown distressing" is really proof of outing half of ILM as Jewel fans, but hey; keep working that angle.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 23:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay, what I don't understand (and really, if you can't take the heat get outta the kitchen, so I don't really give a shit about whether she's insane or not) is this:

'"I saw her live in Boston and it was the greatest show I’ve ever been to," Dion said'

and then she goes on to say how she can't be a Jewel fan. or does great = big-and-not-neccessarily-good? I mean, the greatest show you've ever seen can't be that bad, right?

― Sasha (sgh), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 01:09 (twenty-two years ago)

it's not that confusing; this show was sufficiently weird to overwhelm the memory of the previous, wonderful show.

― dave k, Wednesday, 26 May 2004 01:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Jewel can marry me still. If she behaves.

― Gilles Meloche (Gilles Meloche), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 01:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Izzy Stradlin also went loco on an airline back in the G'n'R days and I think started going to the john in the isle.

― earlnash, Wednesday, 26 May 2004 01:33 (twenty-two years ago)

the isle of man?

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 01:40 (twenty-two years ago)

the isle of music

― the surface noise made by people (electricsound), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 01:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Jewel,

Take it all the way, baby. Three words: Intergender Wrestling Champion.

― Joe (Joe), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 01:43 (twenty-two years ago)

"She said she saw a better audience at a barroom brawl and that all drinkers and smokers were sinners."

Definite bumpersticker material.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 04:01 (twenty-two years ago)

sounds like john cougar lyrics

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 05:04 (twenty-two years ago)

little pink titties for you and me.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 05:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Now THAT'S America! Ain't it?

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 09:41 (twenty-two years ago)

her beaver probably smells of Yeti.

― Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 11:28 (twenty-two years ago)

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

holy fucking shit. I don't think I can top that one. hahahahahahaha.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Excelsior!

― briania (briania), Wednesday, 26 May 2004 19:30 (twenty-two years ago)

now if only she would take it into the studio and make a drugged out art-brut folk damage album about fading into obscurity.

― Disco Nihilist (mjt), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 02:09 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...

She was just on A&E's Breakfast with the Arts and when she went into her non-verbal "vocalizations", they were at a Joan Baez-turkey-gobble level of rofflebility.

She name-checked Bukowski. I effing hate Bukowski.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 17 September 2006 12:27 (nineteen years ago)

JeWeL, WhAtIs uP tHiS iS YoUr bOy WhEelIe.

― and PappaWheelie, author of Have You Ever Been Poxy Fuled? (PappaWheelie 2), Sunday, 17 September 2006 15:43 (nineteen years ago)

celine dion is being awfully critical of her canadian contemporary.

― Charlie Howard (the sphinx), Monday, 18 September 2006 13:39 (nineteen years ago)

a Joan Baez-turkey-gobble level of rofflebility.

That is the greatest phrase ever written on ILM.

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Monday, 18 September 2006 20:10 (nineteen years ago)

Is this on YouTube yet?

― Marmot (marmotwolof), Monday, 18 September 2006 20:13 (nineteen years ago)

She was right though, we should've been looking at her boobs.

― a naked Kraken annoying Times Square tourists with an acoustic guitar (nickalici, Monday, 18 September 2006 20:14 (nineteen years ago)

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