Give these strangely-titled songs logical new names...

Smells Like Teen Spirit- Hello,Hello,Hello
In Bloom- He's the One
Come as You Are- Memory
Breed-She Said
Lithium-Yeah!
Territorial Pissings-Gotta Find a Way
Drain You-I Like You
Lounge Act-Smell Her On You

Selected Ambient Works, Vol 2 - Whoooooosh, whaaaark, rumbbbbble, tinkllllllle, squiggle squiggle squiggle, RUUUUUUUUmble, driftswoonbringsusbyacommodiusvicusofrecirculationto

this is a pointless exercise if i ever came across one.

As opposed to taking the time to write that, m?

i, my dear man, am procrastinating.

the trashmen, "surfing bird" should be "the end of ideology"

Emma Bunton - Andthenhersistercameetc

"Bohemian Rhapsody" should have been "I Really Like Musical Theatre"
"Party Hard" should have been "I Didn't Date Much"
"Rock Your Body" should have been "Remember My Perm?"
"I Can't Stand the Rain" should have been "S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder, Y'all)"
"Living in the Eighties" should have been "I Am Living in the Nineteen Eighties"

It's not "Living in the Eighties". It's simply "Eighties". Get it right.

No no no he's talking about Freddie Mercury's "Living on my own in the Eighties", which should be called "eado wayeh"

the perfect kiss - i know you know (ugh)
bizarre love triangle - every time i see you falling (ugh ugh)
age of consent - i'm not the kind who likes to tell you ... forget it

"Eighties" should be called "Living in the Eighties" so my lame non-killing joke could work. Its dance 12" version could be called "Calm Down Alex (Always Rising to the Bait Whether or Not It Makes Sense to Do So, WTF, No Agenda Here Jellybean Benitez Mix)."

Yngwie Malmsteen's "Far Beyond the Sun" should be called "BLORBLRBLRBOLBROBLROBRLBRBOROBOORLBRBORBORLBR"

the REM edition:

9-9 = Conversation Fear
So. Central Rain = I'm Sorry
E-Bow The Letter = Tastes Like Fear
Drive = Rock On Pt 2
Imitation of Life = Driver 8 (2001 mix)

"Karn Evil 9: 1st, 2nd and 3rd Impressions" should be called "Cold and misty morning, I heard a warning borne in the air About an age of power where no one had an hour to spare, Where the seeds have withered, silent children shivered, in the cold Now their faces captured in the lenses of the jackals for gold.I'll be there I'll be there I will be there.Suffering in silence, they've all been betrayed.They hurt them and they beat them, in a terrible way,Praying for survival at the end of the day.There is no compassion for those who stay.I'll be there I'll be there I will be there There must be someone who can set them free:To take their sorrow from this odyssey To help the helpless and the refugee To protect what's left of humanity. Can't you seeCan't you see Can't you see.I'll be there
I'll be there I will be there;To heal their sorrow To beg and borrow
Fight tommorow.Step inside! Hello! We've the most amazing show You'll enjoy it all we know Step inside! Step Inside!We've got thrills and shocks, supersonic fighting cocks. Leave your hammers at the box Come Inside! Come Inside! Roll up! Roll up! Roll up See the show! Left behind the bars, rows of Bishops' heads in jars and a bomb inside a car Spectacular! Spectacular! If you follow me there's a speciality
some tears for you to see Misery, misery, Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show! Next upon the bill in our House of Vaudeville We've a stripper in a till What a thrill! What a thrill And not content with that, with our hands behind our backs, We pull Jesus from a hat, Get into that! Get into that! Roll up! Roll up! Roll up! See the show!
Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends We're so glad you could attend Come inside! Come inside! There behind a glass is a real blade of grass be careful as you pass. Move along! Move along!Come inside, the show's about to start guaranteed to blow your head apart
Rest assured you'll get your money's worth The greatest show in Heaven, Hell or Earth. You've got to see the show, it's a dynamo.
You've got to see the show, it's rock and roll Soon the Gypsy Queen in a glaze of Vaseline Will perform on guillotine What a scene! What a scene! Next upon the stand will you please extend a hand to Alexander's Ragtime Band Roll up! Roll up! Roll up! See the show Performing on a stool we've a sight to make you drool Seven virgins and a mule Keep it cool. Keep it cool.We would like it to be known the exhibits that were shown were exclusively our own,All our own. All our own. Come and see the show! Come and see the show! Come and see the show! See the show!"

Bohemian Rhapsody - Galileo!

An obvious one: 4 Non Blondes' "What's Up" should have been called "What's Going On" ...

Blur - "Song 2" -> "Van Halen Weeps"