Best (or not) songs that insult Los Angeles

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I want to make a mixtape of songs that denigrate my semi-hometown, however obliquely, and I'd like candidates. I don't want songs that rail against "Hollywood" as an abstract cultural concept, either, but songs about the shortcomings of the actual geographical Hollywood scene would be appropriate, for instance

I've thought of:
High Llamas - Holly Hills
Missing Persons - Walking in L.A.?
lots of shit by X
Bran Van 3000 - Drinking in L.A.
although I don't know if the disdainful chorus("What the hell am I doing drinking in L.A. at 26?") is directed at him/herself for being a wastrel or for being part of the L.A. scene or for being a wastrel in the L.A. scene.
Randy Newman's "I Love L.A." is often cited as satire but other than the line about the bum on his knees and the generally shallow lyrical concerns(no more so than New York, New York, mind you), it has all the makings of the anthem it appears to be. Granted, the bum line is so casual it could make the song *even more* pointedly satirical, but my Lakers have used it unironically for so long to celebrate wins that I'll always construe it as affectionate (*like* a moron, but *not* a moron, prescription for a virtuous existence)

I hit a wall there, help if you can!

― tremendoidorangeblazer, Wednesday, 25 August 2004 03:43 (twenty-one years ago)

most of Song Cycle?

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 03:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Soul Coughing, 'Screenwriter's Blues'

― derrick (derrick), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 04:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Isn't there some awful Counting Crows song about being "in the canyons" or something?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 04:06 (twenty-one years ago)

The entire mixtape should just be "Welcome to the Jungle" over and over and over.

― spittle (spittle), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 04:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, and "Still in Hollywood," Concrete Blonde.

― spittle (spittle), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 04:09 (twenty-one years ago)

a bunch of latter-day Steely Dan tunes kinda diss L.A., "Revolution Blues" by Neil Young, and "Los Angeles" by the Decemberists sort of.

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 04:13 (twenty-one years ago)

bob seger - hollywood nights

― artiste (artiste), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 04:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Glen Campbell - "Country Boy (You Got Your Feet In L.A.)"

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 04:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Pavement "Unfair"

― Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 25 August 2004 04:28 (twenty-one years ago)

There's a terrific vocal snippet on Saint Etienne's 'Finisterre' album where an English announcer says "The world began in Eden, and ended in Los Angeles" which I've put on mixes for my L.A. hating friends.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 04:32 (twenty-one years ago)

David & David "Welcome to the Boomtown"

― spittle (spittle), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 04:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Folk Implosion - EZ LA: "Take the money, cut the city in pieces / Take the water from wherever it flows / Feel the ground, it's always moving." Oblique but clearly displeased.

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 04:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Aren't (at least) some of these expressing mixed emotions? I mean, otherwise, why dint Exene move back to Balmer or whatever?

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 04:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"clearly displeased"

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 05:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Ice T "Home of the Bodybag"

― wombatX (wombatX), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 05:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Butt Town - Iggy

― The Velvet Overlord (The Velvet Overlord), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 05:35 (twenty-one years ago)

"New York Is So Cool" is actually a dig against LA kids. But I hate that song.

Frank Black, "Los Angeles" is ok though (in the pouring sun...)

― Lukas (lukas), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 05:45 (twenty-one years ago)

seger stares all night at the lights of la wondering if he can ever go home! that's some fuckin mixed emotions right there

― artiste (artiste), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 06:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Death Cab for Cutie - "Why You'd Want To Live Here"
The Decemberists - "Los Angeles, I'm Yours"

(what is it about Northwestern emo bands who insist on hating on LA?)

― Nick Mirov (nick), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 06:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Tool's "Ænima" pretty much takes the cake.

― abegrand, Wednesday, 25 August 2004 06:12 (twenty-one years ago)

ugh, and deathcab does it in such a nuanced way: "is this a city of angels or devils?"

stooges - LA blues: claiming LA as the inspiration for this HAS to be some sort of criticism

― jake b. (cerybut), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 06:42 (twenty-one years ago)

The Fall - er, "L.A."

― skeh, Wednesday, 25 August 2004 09:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Costello's "The Other Side of Summer," not by name, but certainly by spirit and intent.

"The automatic gates close up between the shanties and the palace
The blowtorch amusements, the voodoo chalice
The pale pathetic promises that everybody swallows
A teenage girl is crying ’cos she don’t look like a million dollars
So help her if you can
’cos she don’t seem to have the attention span"

― phil d., Wednesday, 25 August 2004 11:06 (twenty-one years ago)

there's some Goldfinger song that opens with a big "FUCK L.A."

goes on to talk about how he's pissed how many bikes he's had stolen, etc.

― Jimmy_tango, Wednesday, 25 August 2004 11:20 (twenty-one years ago)

everything from on the beach.

― peter smith (plsmith), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 11:55 (twenty-one years ago)

"Urine, The Money" from Milk Cult's unDERappreciated Burn Or Bury

― nader (nader), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 12:17 (twenty-one years ago)

(The above takes aim at Califorina generally, but what's more Californian than LA? I'm such a heartless/judgemental East Coaster it hurts sometimes. No, really.)

― nader (nader), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 12:19 (twenty-one years ago)

why do they pronounce it Los Angeleeeeeeeeez?

― Space Is the Place (Space Is the Place), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

i done fucked it up

― Space Is the Place (Space Is the Place), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

The entire Counting Crows repertoire, especially the album that has "Hanginaround" and "Mrs. Potter" on it

Joni Mitchell, "Court & Spark" ("but I couldn't let go of L.A. / city of the fallen angels")

Modest Mouse, "Tiny Cities Made of Ashes" (not explicitly about L.A., if memory serves, but it seems appropriate)

As for the Bran Van song, I don't think it's making fun of L.A., that just happens to be the setting where the singer's making fun of himself.

The Barney Hoskyns book Waiting for the Sun has many, many more examples, I'm sure.

― Joseph McCombs, Wednesday, 25 August 2004 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Allison Moorer - "Cold In California" - insults L.A. and Nashville in the same line.

― southern lights (southern lights), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 13:47 (twenty-one years ago)

The Stranglers- Dead Loss Angeles!!!!!!!

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 14:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Lots and lots and lots of Neil Young, but especially "Everybody Knows This is Nowhere".

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 14:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Iggy and James Williamson - Kill City
All of Love's "Forever Changes"

― Sean Witzman (trip maker), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Re the Frank Black song -- is that about the Los Angels in Southern California? My understanding is that they got one in South Patagonia.

― Mark (MarkR), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)

- Rufus Wainwright's "California"
"California, California
You’re such a wonder that I think I'll stay in bed
Big time rollers, part time models
So much to plunder
That I think I'll sleep instead"

― Andy Baio, Wednesday, 25 August 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Tim Dog, "Fuck Compton." There must have been other anti-LA raps in the early '90s, too.

― mike a, Wednesday, 25 August 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

California LA

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

one more time: California <> LA

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

that's the fuckin truth.

Long live the State of Jefferson!

― Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 25 August 2004 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

That Death Cab song really infuriates me. Not only is it a terrible song, it's so fucking condescending.
Did someone say "Burn Hollywood Burn" by Public Enemy?

― Softly Weeping at the Oki Dog (Ben Boyer), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Though I guess that's more the "abstract" Hollywood referred to in the intro... sorry...

― Softly Weeping at the Oki Dog (Ben Boyer), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

If you're still 17 and like NOFX, there's "LAX" by Big D and the Kids Table.

― bohford, Wednesday, 25 August 2004 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't know if it's fully anti-LA, but kim fowley's "sunset boulevard" sure makes LA sound like a creepy kinda place

― m0stly clean (m0stly clean), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 16:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Fowley LOVES creepy. He's the walking talking definition of creepy (and LA, in some ways).

― Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 25 August 2004 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

that's it:
he's presenting LA as fucked up and sleazy, but he still digs it, babe. he sounds really lost.

― m0stly clean (m0stly clean), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 16:57 (twenty-one years ago)

the dictators' "loyola"

― dan (dan), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 17:08 (twenty-one years ago)

FUCK Tim Dog, keep em' coming, and god bless.
now to procure them...anyone know where I can pick up these songs on 7"? I'd buy the whole records but I'm not made of money.

― tremendoid, Wednesday, 25 August 2004 18:27 (twenty-one years ago)

"L.A." -- Neil Young

In a matter of time,
There'll be a friend of mine
Gonna come to the coast,
You're gonna see him
Up close for a minute or two
While the ground cracks under you.

By the look in your eyes
You'd think that it was a surprise
But you seem to forget
Something somebody said
About the bubbles in the sea
And an ocean full of trees.

And you now, L.A.
Uptight,
city in the smog,
city in the smog.
Don't you wish that
you could be here too?
Don't you wish that
you could be here too?
Don't you wish that
you could be here too?

Well, it's hard to believe
So you get up to leave
And you laugh at the door
That you heard it all before
Oh it's so good to know
That it's all just a show for you.

But when the suppers are planned
And the freeways are crammed
And the mountains erupt
And the valley is sucked
Into cracks in the earth
Will I finally be heard by you.

L.A.
Uptight,
city in the smog,
city in the smog.
Don't you wish that
you could be here too?
Don't you wish that
you could be here too?
Don't you wish that
you could be here too?

― earlnash, Wednesday, 25 August 2004 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

From the end of Cake, "Sheep Go to Heaven":

I don't wanna go to the Sunset Strip,
I don't wanna feel the emptiness.
Big marquees with stupid band names
I don't wanna go to the Sunset Strip.
(Repeat)

― nono, Wednesday, 25 August 2004 19:42 (twenty-one years ago)

From "So Long, Superman" by Firewater

So long, Superman
I'll light a candle for ya
Say a prayer when California
Falls into the sea
L.A. I never know ya
Goodbye, good riddance to ya
Go to hell and hallelujah
You never meant much to me

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 25 August 2004 20:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Rolling Stones-"When the Whip Comes Down"

"A gay in New York is just a fag in LA". Well, I never!

― Arthur (Arthur), Thursday, 26 August 2004 03:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Ænema Some say the end is near. Some say we'll see armageddon soon. I certainly hope we will. I sure could use a vacation from this bullshit three ring circus sideshow of Freaks here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA The only way to fix it is to flush it all away. Any fucking time. Any fucking day. Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay. Fret for your figure and Fret for your latte and Fret for your hairpiece and Fret for your lawsuit and Fret for your prozac and Fret for your pilot and Fret for your contract and Fret for your car. It's a bullshit three ring circus sideshow of freaks here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA The only way to fix it is to flush it all away. Any fucking time. Any fucking day. Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay. Some say a comet will fall from the sky. Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves. Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still. Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits. Some say the end is near. Some say we'll see armageddon soon. I certainly hope we will cuz I sure could use a vacation from this Silly shit, stupid shit... One great big festering neon distraction, I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied. Learn to swim. Mom's gonna fix it all soon. Mom's comin' round to put it back the way it ought to be. Learn to swim. Fuck L Ron Hubbard and Fuck all his clones. Fuck all those gun-toting Hip gangster wannabes. Learn to swim. Fuck retro anything. Fuck your tattoos. Fuck all you junkies and Fuck your short memory. Learn to swim. Fuck smiley glad-hands With hidden agendas. Fuck these dysfunctional, Insecure actresses. Learn to swim. Cuz I'm praying for rain and I'm praying for tidal waves I wanna see the ground give way. I wanna watch it all go down. Mom please flush it all away. I wanna watch it go right in and down. I wanna watch it go right in. Watch you flush it all away. Time to bring it down again. Don't just call me pessimist. Try and read between the lines. I can't imagine why you wouldn't Welcome any change, my friend. I wanna see it all come down. suck it down. flush it down.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 26 August 2004 03:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Gladys Knight -- Midnight Train to Georgia

― Jimmy Mod, Man About Towne (ModJ), Thursday, 26 August 2004 03:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Dionne Warwick - "Do you know the way to San Jose?"

Do you know the way to San Jose?
I've been away so long
I may go wrong and lose my way
Do you know the way to San Jose
I'm going back to find some piece of mind San Jose
L. A. is a great big freeway
Put a hundred down a by a car
In a week - or maybe two - they'll make you a star
Weeks turn into years and quickly pass
And all the stars there never were a parkin' cars and pumpin' gas
I've got lots of friends in San Jose
Wo oh oh oh
Can't wait to get back to San Jose
Wo oh oh oh
Do You know the way to San Jose?

― nickn (nickn), Thursday, 26 August 2004 05:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Deconstruction, "LA Song"

sorry if someone already posted that.

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Thursday, 26 August 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

"Dionne Warwick - "Do you know the way to San Jose?""

The irony of this song is that San Jose has turned into a total smog-ridden, commuter-crowded, soulless shithole modelled specifically after Los Angeles.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 26 August 2004 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Local H, "California Songs"

Well I got your late night call
You're in the center of it all
You're havin' a ball
And you're really doin' fine
A West Coast time
And I believe you

But here's one for the coast
The people with the most
The pretty, pretty folks
The West Coast folks
Yeah here's one for the coast
The people with the most
The pretty, pretty folks
The West Coast folks

And here we go again
It's never gonna end
We're all so sick of California songs
Yeah we know you love L.A.
There's nothing left to say
Please no more California songs
And **** New York too

Yeah your heaven is a lie
Just more **** that I don't buy
Well they're headin' for the coast
They're movin' out in droves
Sendin' back reports on the radio
The message is the same
It's getting pretty lame
California dreamin's on the radio

And here we go again
It's never gonna end
We're all so sick of California songs
Yeah we know you love L.A.
There's nothing left to say
Please no more California songs
And here we go again
It's never gonna end
We're all so sick of California songs
Yeah we know you love L.A.
But there's nothing left to say
Please no more California songs
And **** New York too

― Pete Scholtes, Thursday, 26 August 2004 22:56 (twenty-one years ago)

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