100 Ways To Improve Music Videos

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

100. Miri Ben-Awi must be inserted, in person or digitally, in costume befitting the theme/style of the particular video, into every single video ever made for a song involving violins or violas. This is a retroactive rule.

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

99. Make them different from each other.

Is this a joke thread or serious?

― Hurting (Hurting), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 14:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm still figuring that out myself.

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

98. super-impose a sign language artist in the bottom right corner, esp. useful for the hip-hop clips

― Brigadier Rainham Steele, Mrs (blueski), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

97. Ban Pharrell from video shoots until at least 2009. This includes N.E.R.D. shoots.

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I think that's already in effect(!)

― Loose Translation: Sexy Dancer (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 14:25 (twenty-one years ago)

96. Busta Rhymes must be given an all-access pass entitling him to be in any video he wants -- regardless of whether or not he appeared on the record (although chances are he did).

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 14:25 (twenty-one years ago)

95. Record synch sound; more live music!

― Loose Translation: Sexy Dancer (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 14:26 (twenty-one years ago)

94. Videos where the artist plays an instrument or sings on top of a moving vehicle are no longer permitted.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 14:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Has anyone ever thought to put half-naked girls in music videos? I bet that would shift a few records. Ah, I suppose the music industry's just not that cynical.

― Wooden (Wooden), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

93. words on screen, karaoke style, always

― Brigadier Rainham Steele, Mrs (blueski), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

92. No more close-ups of cell phones!

― Loose Translation: Sexy Dancer (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

91. more homo-eroticism in rap videos - c'mon it'd be funny

― Brigadier Rainham Steele, Mrs (blueski), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

90. In addition - all hip hop and r'n'b stars should have to wear tutus.

― Wooden (Wooden), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

89. More of Nelly with his "damn, girl" expression.
88. More vids about R&B divas fighting over Mekhi Phifer
87. NO MID-VIDEO BREAKS INTO OTHER SONGS ALLOWED (looking at you, Missy)
86. Two-year ban on any form of entirely computer-animated music video.

― The Good Dr. Bill (Andrew Unterberger), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Do they need improvement?

(Never watch 'em myself.)

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

85: built in cheesburger dispenser

― kephm, Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Has anyone ever thought to put half-naked girls in music videos?
Have you seen the, um, alternate version of P.I.M.P.?

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

These are serious:

84. No more color oversaturating in post-production.
83. No more orange filters for hip hop videos.
82. No more strobe cuts (shot, white flash, shot) in rock videos.
81. No more pointless focus-racking in closeups.

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

80. dry ice

― frankE (frankE), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Has anyone ever thought to put half-naked girls in music videos?
Have you seen the, um, alternate version of P.I.M.P.?

-- MindInRewind (brune...), September 28th, 2004 4:18 PM

I should really start using emoticons.

― Wooden (Wooden), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

79: No more slo mo rappers walking. They should just walk slow naturally.

― Loose Translation: Sexy Dancer (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, I guess I should have too ... but seriously, there is an alternate version of the video that has actual naked women.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

(is that generally known? I never saw it on TV here, obviously, I was in Germany at the time)

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I've seen it late at night on MTV 2. There's also a nekkid version of Lapdancer by NERD.

― Wooden (Wooden), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Good, so it's official :
78. More nudity

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

77. Coprophagy.

― pdf (Phil Freeman), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

76. No people.

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

75. Should feature poorly filmed male strippers who injure themselves (see Chavez, "Break Up Your Band," AKA best video ever).

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 15:55 (twenty-one years ago)

74. no more walking on train tracks, across urban wastelands, picturesque decay, or "metaphorical" junkyards ever again. Ever!

― Drew Daniel, Tuesday, 28 September 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

73. Either no more rain, ever, or it should rain in every single video ever. I can't decide which.

― Rick Massimo (Rick Massimo), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

72. NO MORE FUCKING MOSH PITS!!!!!

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 17:08 (twenty-one years ago)

71. Outlaw sad/scary/demented clowns.

― david day (winslow), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

69. Lasers. Lots and lots of lasers.

― Bruce S. Urquhart (BanjoMania), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 17:18 (twenty-one years ago)

68. ACTUALLY SHOW SOME EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

67. Any time Diddy appears in someone else's vid, he gets drenched with a bucket of water as Judy Carne yells "Sock It To Me!" Would like to calculate what % of hip-hop videos he's appeared in over the past three years.

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 17:20 (twenty-one years ago)

66. Energetic, talentless dancers

― JC-L (JC-L), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 17:39 (twenty-one years ago)

65. All lead singers must be replaced by pantomiming chimpanzees (preferably on rollerskates).

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 18:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Overdub a (I just realized that I don't know how to spell-> ) "smartaleck" voice like in America's Home Videos.. or Bevis & Butthead.

And Willie Aames as the VJ.

― dave225 (Dave225), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 18:28 (twenty-one years ago)

64. Make more funny ones.

― Nowell, Tuesday, 28 September 2004 18:37 (twenty-one years ago)

1/2 matmos otm

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

no skateboards or any other attempt to appeal to impressionable young steakheads.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Whatever, skateboards are cool. They were good enough for Sonic Youth (see "100%").

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 19:27 (twenty-one years ago)

no more recreating Henry Rollins' friends' death scenes

― Loose Translation: Sexy Dancer (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 19:30 (twenty-one years ago)

There should always be skateboarders grinding and doing manual tricks all over everything in every video ever!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Fuck yeah.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

We are steakheads apparently.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

More recreating Henry Rollin's death.

― Diego Valladolid (dvalladt), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

less backstage doors. videos that include the backstage entrance/exit are invariably crap.

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

We are steakheads apparently.
-- n/a (nu...), September 28th, 2004.

yes, yes you are. hahahahahahaha

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

actually my brother was a skateboarder for several years, he sort of burned me out on the whole thing.

i guess i mean gratuitous skateboards in videos by bands that want to seem cool or something.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

59. No pointless sollopsistic mocking of other current music videos by a band just as lame as the bands in all those other videos and whose director probably directed all those other videos.

― Hurting (Hurting), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 21:50 (twenty-one years ago)

OTM

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

iThere isn't a picture on the web that can't be captioned with the phrase "WHERE THE TITTIES AT???" (picture thread)

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 23:57 (twenty-one years ago)

58. Obligatory breakdance fight

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 00:41 (twenty-one years ago)

57. no bands in fields (especially when using amplifiers and instruments that could not actually function in a field)

― Symplistic (shmuel), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 00:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Sym completely OTM. Not as bad as moshpit overuse, but close.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 00:50 (twenty-one years ago)

56. turn down the contrast!! wayy less contrast i.e. over-exposed whites and rich weighty blacks. (that's not supposed to be a double-entendre.) picture should appear milky and almost impossible to make out. i.e. more ridiculous arty techniques, not less

55. bring the neon spaceship/club interior out of retirement for a few more hip hop videos, i actually miss the fucker. and this time actually make everybody weightless!

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 01:08 (twenty-one years ago)

75. Should feature poorly filmed male strippers who injure themselves
Robbie Williams "Rock DJ" video to thread?

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 01:19 (twenty-one years ago)

54. Prohibitively high fees to use a fish-eye lens effect. To be applied retroactively to Hype Williams.

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 01:32 (twenty-one years ago)

53. Pie fights a la The Three Stooges.

― Bruce S. Urquhart (BanjoMania), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 01:38 (twenty-one years ago)

52. More videos that are a complete narrative and don't feature any members of the band. (The Spike Jonze video for the Daft Punk song with the dog-man is amazing, for example)

― Hurting (Hurting), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 01:44 (twenty-one years ago)

51. Along those lines: Not that this has to be completely ruled out, but could we at least see A LITTLE less of the lead singer's mug singing directly into the camera, especially up close?

― Hurting (Hurting), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 01:45 (twenty-one years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.