down, heckler, down!

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As a spin off from Baboon's insults thread, I'd like to hear any great heckler put downs that might have imprinted themselves on your conscousness. I guess you can expand the brief to include all performers, comedians etc.

My favourite was sax player Terry Edwards, when playing with his Scapegoats in Manchester a couple of years ago. Some drunk geezer was shouting at him, god knows what, and this was a sparsely attended gig (good though). Terry looked at him sternly and gravely intoned "If you want to join in you're really going to have to start coming to rehearsals." The guy shut up. I met Terry a month or so later when he played with Gallon Drunk at Planet K, and metioned how cool I thought this was. He told me that he'd nicked the put down verbatim from Ian Durie.

I'd like to point out that I'm not going to collect these for future use by my own good self. Honest I'm not.

― misterjones, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The best heckler story I read about was during a Bark Psychosis gig -- I think it was at Ronnie Scott's. Vudi and Mark Eitzel from American Music Club were there, and Vudi blurted out, "Do you guys know 'Wipeout'"? or something to that effect. I don't know if any members of BP responded, but I find that pretty damn funny.

― Andy K., Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

who is the mysterious Ozzie singer. Whilist celebrating my girlfriends birthday at TJ's in Newport there was some Ozzie singer songwriter playing. I can't remember his name but I know Nand liked him. Anyway she had all these boiled sweets and wanted to thank him. So I said as joke why don't you throw sweets onto the stage. She being cackhanded love muffin she is pelted this poor sod with blackjacks and fruit salads. His rhythm guitarist got the point and said thanks but he went batshit. He stopped playing looked her straight in the eye and said "I've driven 15 hours in the car to be here love, this is just me and you right me and you." She felt like shit and apologised after where he was marginally more reasonable. I on ther other hand was well confused cos no way does it take that long to drive from London to Newport. Maybe four hours tops. Maybe he had a shit car or drove from Paris and sat in the backseat on the ferry. Miserable git.

― monstatruk, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

June '97. Radiohead gig in Utrecht, the Netherlands. A guy right in front of me keeps yelling for "Stop Whispering" (which is funny in its own right). Finally Thom answers, gruntingly:"I heard you!". Didn't play the song, to no surprise.

― WiLLeM, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Oh yeah. State Theater around '98. The band was Shellac, the heckler was near the front of the stage. The heckler didn't like the slow/quiet parts so he hooted something about the band needing to play faster and louder. The band came to a full stop and Steve Albini asked everyone around the heckler to take five steps back and stare at him for the remainder of the song. Albini also spent a couple minutes cutting him down verbally, but I forget what was said. I was near the back of the venue and could see this gaping hole with the heckler standing dead in the middle.

― Andy K., Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I saw Yo La Tengo in Indianapolis last week - In the encores, people always yell out requests. Someone yelled out "FreeBird!". The first time he heard it, Ira said, "I'm not even going to think about what I just heard." When the guy kept yelling it, Ira told a story about how the night before he had a guy thrown out of a show in Cleveland. He said, "I went 16 years without ever doing it. And now having done it - it was such a rush. I've got 16 years' to catch up on. So the next guy who yells out 'FreeBird' - you're it."

Then there was a guy (I don't remember who it was - just some local troubador - about 10 years ago) who kept getting heckled by some drunk Pearl Jam fan in the audience. He said, "Please don't talk to me when I'm onstage. I don't come to your job and tell you when the fries are done." .. I've heard that one a few times since then.

― Dave225, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Loved that one Dave.

Me and a friend interviewed Ira Kaplin when YLT played the Royal northern College of Music with Sonic boom and Neil Innes. Ira was lovely, very warm, funny, non-aggressive. I don't think Neil and Sonic were getting on too well though. There seemed to be a bit of static between them.

I digress.

― misterjones, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The variant of that that I heard was, "Guys, stop it. You're messing with my work. I mean, I don't go to your mom's job and knock the dicks out of her mouth."

This was effective in that the recipients of the put down stopped heckling and started laughing, but not so effective because the guitarist/singer who said it kept giggling throughout his next three songs. Still, you don't expect concert quality from a subway busker, so it all evens out.

― Dan Perry, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

read somewhere that new order poured a bucket of piss over a heckler; have difficulty believing that even they would be that nasty..

― mal, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Having difficulty believing that they keep a bucket of piss around in case of heckling!

― Dan Perry, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Is it so hard to empty colostomy bags into a bucket? (Ha. Ha.)

― David Raposa, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

supposedly the heckler was "brought" backstage after the show...where said bucket had ben duly prepared

― mal, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Who's Ben Duly?

― David Raposa, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

*SIGH* As it is, I have perfect faith in the idea of NO being cheesed off enough to do that. Look at Peter Hook, I ask you.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Three words: L7's Tampon Incident.

― Lord Custos, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i think the new order chuck bucket of piss incident did actually happen, in chippenham i think.

― nelly, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

so "Sister Ray" is a musical fight committed to tape, so my friend used to heckle bands to play it, which they usually couldn't

best answer back was Chris Know: "No, but I know Brother James ?"

so, my friend asked the same of Sonic Youth, but they didn't "get it"

― George Gosset, Monday, 14 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

er, Knox, in case you didn't

― George Gosset, Monday, 14 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

seven years pass...

I requested "Listen to What the Man Said" at a Sean Lennon concert and just got a kind of perplexed and awkward silence. I was drunk and got thrown out and the crowd kinda cheered. I just couldn't take all that reverential "ok-everyone-listen-intently-it's-Son-of-Beatle-up-there" no humor vibe. Plus I was on a huge Wings kick at the time! The review in the paper described me the next day as a "misguided heckler."

Btw I went to see him because I kinda dug his second album, it's true!

― ColinO, Saturday, 23 May 2009 17:01 (fifteen years ago) link

instant karma's gonna get yer...

― snoball, Saturday, 23 May 2009 18:13 (fifteen years ago) link

Shoulda requested "One Headlight".

― •--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Saturday, 23 May 2009 18:24 (fifteen years ago) link

twelve years pass...

lol Colin u were a douche

― they were written with a ouija board and a rhyming dictionary (Neanderthal), Friday, 28 January 2022 06:10 (two years ago) link

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