Taking Sides: Pusher vs. Horder

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A coworker who is "not obsessed with music" (her words) but is aware that I am told me about meeting a guy who'd just moved to town who announced that he was "a music geek". She asked him what bands he liked, and for reasons I can only guess at, he said, "Well, I'm sort of a snob about music; you probably wouldn't know any of them". To my mind, anyone who's really musically obsessed knows that "normal people" aren't impressed by your knowledge, nor are they offended when you mention a band they've never heard of.

Anyway, she mentioned that she worked with someone who lived music and suggested that he should meet me (being new to town). Apparently, he dismissed the idea that she could possibly know anyone who "knows music" the way he does. Her suspicion is that he probably doesn't know as much music as I do, because converse to this fellow, I offered to make her a mix on her first day at our firm. I can't help myself--I am constantly asking people what music they like, not to size them up, but in case there's some music they might enjoy I could turn them on to. In fact, most people I know who truly live and breathe music are what I would call friendly pushers: we want to share, perhaps to a fault.

I'm aware of a stereotype of music geeks as elitists who horde their "finds," throw around obscure names in an attempt to impress those who won't recognise them, and get nervous when "other people" start to know their favourite stuff. Are there really these kinds of elitist horders out there who don't want "most people" to know the music they cherish? The only people I can remember knowing who lived this way were people who didn't really know much music to begin with, and seemed insecure in their pride; I always had a suspicion that their collection was as much a fashion accessory of sorts as something they actually enjoyed on its own terms.

So I wonder: am I being unfair in my assessment of the horder? Are there justifiable reasons to be proud of ones special musical knowledge, rather than sharing it? Is it equally condescending to want to share ones knowledge freely? Does horder = hipster, and music geek is some later stage; or are there addicts who remain elusive and protective of their stash?

― I.M. (I.M.), Friday, 18 March 2005 01:18 (twenty-one years ago)

a series of disappointments major and minor with other "geeks" left me with this kind of attitude for quite a while. fortunately ilm has changed me somewhat.

― mullygrubbr (bulbs), Friday, 18 March 2005 01:41 (twenty-one years ago)

To my mind, anyone who's really musically obsessed knows that "normal people" aren't impressed by your knowledge, nor are they offended when you mention a band they've never heard of.

OTM

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 18 March 2005 01:47 (twenty-one years ago)

if i don't want to get into a discussion of music with someone i'm far more likely to completely downplay my knowledge rather than 'snob it up' as it were. i can be a pusher, but generally only with people whose knowledge/taste i have at least a vague idea of

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 18 March 2005 02:39 (twenty-one years ago)

i love people knowing the obscure stuff i do. but i get very very irritable when they make out there's something special or cool about knowing it.

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 18 March 2005 02:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I usually tend to downplay my music fandom/geekery and am usually actively embarassed by it most of the time. If someone volunteers something first, I'll test the waters, but I shudder to think of sounding like someone I.M. describes in the first paragraph. I'm quite put off by the typical one-upsmanship aspect, though. I met someone recently who dropped the "he's the bass player of a band you've probably never heard of" line on me. That sorta thing burns me up, but you have to let it go. Let them be the jerk.

On ILM, however, it's another matter. On ILM, let your Geek Flag Fly!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 18 March 2005 02:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I like to know what people are into; I'm constantly asking people what they're listening to, scrolling down iPod lists, etc. I've found that I usually have a handful of artists in common with just about anyone -- some more than others, obviously. I really like sharing music, and am glad when something that deserves attention is shifted into the spotlight.

...I'm a little embarrassed by the amount of music I've accrued too. Also the amount of time I spend reading about it, listening to it, obsessing over it. I tend to think these things would off-put someone rather than impress them. thus, I'll only give music to people who I know would appreciate it...but once someone makes that list, I burn shitloads. I really do love sharing, see.

― babyalive (babyalive), Friday, 18 March 2005 03:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Babyalive hits the one reason I might say I'm "proud" of knowing the music I do--I feel fairly confident that I could make an enjoyable single disc mix for just about anyone who likes music an average amount (unless they listen exclusively to metal or post-60s Nashville country, in which cases I still might be able to find *something*). Music is definitely a way in for me with most people, a way to make a connection even in the absense of having much in common or much time to spend.

A friend said the other day that for all intensive purposes, he and I "know all the bands". Of course, I'm always at least as much aware of how much I don't know than I am of what I do, and glad for the fact. But I had to step back and admit the relative truth of what he was saying--we own music by more artists/bands than most people will likely hear in their lives. He wasn't saying it as a bragging thing--in fact, it was sort of a lament, in that it does sort of separate us from a lot of people. But it also shows how far gone I am that my first instinct is to emphasise how much there is to discover, when I've already spent nearly every discretionary penny I've earned on music in my life thus far.

A side question--I regularly justify my habit by telling myself that I'm stocking up during this relatively responsibility-free springtime of my life (no kids, no mortgage, few other elective expenses) for the "winter" of responsibility ahead (though, to be honest, I look forward to marriage/kids/all that, if it happens). Does anyone else tell themselves this? Amongst those of you who're enjoying "winter," did you tell yourself this and did you manage to curtail your habit when it became necessary without jonesing?

― I.M. (I.M.), Friday, 18 March 2005 04:20 (twenty-one years ago)

i am in the winter, purchase wise. i never buy anything that costs more than $2. i'm fine about it. "stocking up" never really worked for me though. i have heaps of things i stocked up on and i've still never really listened to them.

― mullygrubbr (bulbs), Friday, 18 March 2005 04:25 (twenty-one years ago)

cos when you are in the winter you listen exclusively to stuff from when you were young and free and you weep

― mullygrubbr (bulbs), Friday, 18 March 2005 04:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha I hope not! "The winter" is part of the reason I don't mind having a fair number of albums with which I'm not wholly familiar--gives me something relatively new to me even when I can't afford anything that's literally new to me.

― I.M. (I.M.), Friday, 18 March 2005 04:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm in the "winter" right now (wife, child, mounting responsibilities, etc.), and if anything, I'm trying to un-stock and get rid of piles of CDs. There's also this problem to look forward to: Burning Out?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 18 March 2005 04:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's another "winter" fantasy: making mixes for my kids. My mother played and sang me Joni Mitchell, Joan Baez, Pete Seeger etc. songs as I went to sleep when I was very young, and thost times remain some of my fondest memories. But since I don't really learn songs well, my version will be making mixes.

Does anyone actually end up doing this? Do your kids ever actually like anything you put together? I made a "post-punk for kids" mix for a friend's little girl, and apparently she quite liked "Helicopter" (XTC) and "Glimpse Go By" (49 Americans).

― I.M. (I.M.), Friday, 18 March 2005 04:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, my own daughter is just shy of a year old, so it's not like she's absorbing specifics, but I'm always intrigued by what music she seems to respond to. She loved TroubleFunk, the Clash and Kraftwerk (or at least smiled, clapped, bounced and laughed) and looked alternately bored and upset by the Ramones. We'll see what happens as she gets older.

I've been making mix cd's and giving lots of my old cd's to my eleven year old nephew, who is now quite fond of Sabbath and AC/DC.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 18 March 2005 05:26 (twenty-one years ago)

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