Football Songs POX

Ossie's Dream - Chas & Dave
Ossie's Dream - Chas & Dave
Ossie's Dream - Chas & Dave
Ossie's Dream - Chas & Dave
Ossie's Dream - Chas & Dave
Ossie's Dream - Chas & Dave
Ossie's Dream - Chas & Dave
Ossie's Dream - Chas & Dave
Billy Bonds' Claret And Blue Army - Wat Tyler

http://mp3.thephoenix.com/mp3/MEAT331b_PATRIOTS.mp3

"Super Bowl Shuffle" sucks.

Ossie's Dream - Chas & Dave

Yeah, everyone should know that "football" means three downs and 110 yards!

Seriously, though, I never could stand football in either its Canadian, American or rest-of-the-world varieties. And I could survey the entire WORLD of pro team sports and probably still have trouble coming up with ten worthwhile songs.

"....and a Rutigliano Super Bowl teeeeam."

"uh Bernie Bernie / how you can throw / uh Bernie Bernie / (whoa baby!) / Super Bowl"

a couple of years back, those wonderful people who are doing their best to run Coventry City FC into administration commissioned some Norwegian dude to write a new club song, on the basis that he had a written a few Eurovision entries. you haven't heard of the result -'It's For Life, Son' - because it's easily the most horrible song ever written and was abandoned halfway through our Premiership relegation season, aka the Year of Bellamy.

and, from some World Cup commercials (cover version used)
"Mas Que Nada," by Jorge Ben
"Y Dale Alegria a mi Corazon," by Fito Paez

(1) Ally's Tartan Army - Andy Cameron
(2) We Have A Dream - Scotland 1982 Squad & John Gordon Sinclair
(3) Say It With Pride - Scotland 1990 Squad & Fish, Donnie Munro and the bloke from the Silencers
(4) Don't Come Home Too Soon - Del Amitri, and a video wherein Colin Hendry and Christian Dailly kid on they're Brazilian, but in Prestwick Airport
(5) Eat My Goal - Collapsed Lung
(6) Vindaloo - Fat Les
(7) Hot Shot Tottenham - Chas'n'Dave (for some reason, I know all the words to this "and don't forgot Ossie, specially cos he* back in 81 he had his dream come true") *worst rhyme ever
(8) European Song - Aberdeen FC 1983 squad
(9) The Best Day of Our Lives - Martin O'Neill and some other folk
(10) Three Lions - Baddiel & Skinner (and this pains me as a Scottish person as it's so English, but it is undoubtedly as great as football songs get)

Rubbish football songs - anything involving Man U and Status Quo, The Anfield Rap, World in Motion.

Honorary mention - theme tunes to Saint & Greavsie, Match of the Day and the old Scotsport and Sportscene themes.

Yes, it exists. Doesn't mean it is any good though.

Somewhere on a tape in a box in a cupboard I have a tape with one side full of crap FA Cup songs, but the only one I can remember is Hot Shot Tottenham. I'm sure there's a Coventry one from the same time. I also have memories of something which went "Tottenham, Tottenham, no-one can stop them" which surely must have involved Chas'n'Dave as well. I must go and dig this monstrosity out, if I didn't tape over it in about 1990 when I realised the folly of this.

For the Rock the Bells intro

"Liverpool FC is hard as hell.."

The "Macca Can" piss-take of Chaka Khan, however, was genius.

More like a Gay Pride anthem.

I also have memories of something which went "Tottenham, Tottenham, no-one can stop them" which surely must have involved Chas'n'Dave as well

Well, it's not the 1981 one or the 1987 one. I vaguely remember the one from 1991 which went "it's lucky for Spurs when the year ends in one".

"Tottenham, Tottenham, no-one can stop 'em" is NOT a good rhyme. I can't remember if it got better than that, I guess it must have done.

Hotshot Tottenham is so much better "We're Hot Shot Tottenham, we are the super Spurs, everybody knows we're the football connoisseurs". If I ever decide to support an English team, it will be Spurs based solely on their back catalogue.

(Darren, did you google that list, or did you actually know all that?)

Does the Primal Scream/Irvine Welsh/On-U-Sound System's "The Big Man and the Scream Team Meet the Barmy Army Uptown" count as a football song? It was out in the run-up to Euro 96.

The worst fooball song ever by a huge margin = Del Amitri's 'Don't Come Home Too Soon' for Scotland in France 98. England had Three Lions, Scotland had the most defeatist excuse for a footy song ever.

I had the misfortune to be recording in Chamber studios the week after a certain gallus midget midfielder had recorded his stab at chart glory. Jamie played it for us and we agreed with his verdict of "utter pish". It didn't end up ever getting released, I don't think.

Well, strictly speaking, in 1998, England had "Top Of The World", which was hardly much better.

seconded.

hmmm: do you have a decent-quality version of this?

I only have taped or vinyl copies off all the ones I have mentioned so far, so can't share them online.

Well, strictly speaking, in 1998, England had "Top Of The World", which was hardly much better.

That's the Ian McCulloch/Spice Girls one I mentioned up there that I couldn't remember the name off. It was k-rubbish.

"Go for it, go for it City. Sky Blues - shootin' to win!"

it was shit, not a patch on 'Hot Shot Tottenham', but we won the damn thing, so fuck all of y'all.

sadly, i fear we might be some distance from a repeat performance.

Who was that then? I feel I should know, but don't.

I have vague recollections of Ally McCoist and Derek Ferguson having a single out dressed as the Blues Brothers (maybe even calling themselves the Blues Brothers).

There's a thread somewhere around here about footballers releasing records, because I mentioned about Chris Waddle and Basile Boli on it.

Sad to say, Ailsa, I actually possess each and every one of them, inclucing "Ossie's Dream"'s 12" on blue vinyl. I rather mischievously played it while doing a DJ stint at Daniel's (aka Japanese Giraffe) wedding knees-up - he being a Man City fan of course.

re: Scotland's third force: Didn't the great Malcolm Ross do something Hibees related in his post-Orange Juice days ?