Fifty "It's My Turf" Songs

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By which I mean, songs in which an artist bitches about the music of other artists — usually those they feel threatened by. For the sake of clarity, let's not go into "50 Cent putting the smackdown on Nas"-type hip-hop wars. More like:

50. T. Rex's "Shock Rock", widely seen as a slap at Alice Cooper with it's "If you know how to rock/You don't have to shock!" couplet.

49. Prince's "Dead On It" — in which he crapped all over rap about 10 minutes before he decided he could do it better himself.

More please.

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

48. Johnny Thunders's "Little London Boys"

― Ken L (Ken L), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

"The only hip-hop song I know is 'Here Comes Peter Cottontail.'" - Anonymous country singer at a bar Matt and I went to once in D.C.

― Chris Dahlen (Chris Dahlen), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

47. Peter Paul & Mary, "I Dig Rock & Roll Music"

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

46. Lou Reed, New York Stars

45. Funkadelic, Let's Take It to the Stage

44. Parliament, P-Funk (Wants to Get Funked Up)

43. Guided By Voices, Jason Lowenstein Is A Wanker

― Bad Day At Dadrock (Dada), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 15:01 (twenty-one years ago)

42. The Kinks, "Prince of the Punks" (kind of a cheesy song, but they earned the right on the A-side with "Father Christmas")

― Ken L (Ken L), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

42. Bryan Adams "Kids Wanna Rock"

― dave q (listerine), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

40. Captain Beefheart, Ashtray Heart

"Open up another case of the punks"

― Bad Day At Dadrock (Dada), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

39. Bob Seger "Old Time Rock and Roll"
38. Eagles "Disco Strangler"

― dave q (listerine), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

37. Red Hot Chili Peppers "Punk Rock Classic"

― dave q (listerine), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

36. The Who "Rough Boys" — unless I'm mistaken, isn't this the one where a plastered Townshend challenged Steve Jones to a duel or something?

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

35. Public Enemy "Caught, Can I Get a Witness"

― dave q (listerine), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

34. Deche Charge Are A Bunch Of Fucking Losers

you're a bunch of stupid little kids,you wanted to be just like us
you're mad because we wouldn't do a split 7" with you,you're mad because we're on a label
deche charge are a bunch of fucking losers
your favorite drummer is charlie infection,i wanna punch your ugly little face in
you're a bunch of fucking losers,you don't know shit about anything

― DJ Mencap0))), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

33. Television Personalities, "Part Time Punks"

― Ken L (Ken L), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

32. Instant Club Hit - Dead Milkmen

― dave225 (Dave225), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait, but is "Instant Club Hit" the Milkmen staking out their turf or them just making fun of people?

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 15:28 (twenty-one years ago)

OK - withdrawn.

― dave225 (Dave225), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 15:29 (twenty-one years ago)

heh

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

32. Too Many Goddamned Bands - John Doe

― dave225 (Dave225), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

31. Lynyrd Skynyrd - "Sweet Home Alabama"

― Jeff Reguilon (Talent Explosion), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

30. Molly Hatchet "Gator Country"

― dave q (listerine), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

29. ...and You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead "Worlds Apart"

To quote Pitchfork:
Count first single "Worlds Apart" among the thousands of boring three-minute commercial rock songs that-- get this-- criticize commercial rock. The lyric "Look at these cunts on MTV with cars and cribs and shit/ Is that what being a celebrity means?" is this palm-muted, mall-punk schmaltz-waltz's only surprise, passable on first listen and grating thereafter. It doesn't get laughable until the cursing kicks in-- essential to the band's "points"-- and keeps the song off radio.

― Mickey (modestmickey), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

28. anal cunt owns this thread -- see, e.g., "extreme noise terror is afraid of us," "chris barnes* is afraid of us," "no, we don't want to do a split 7" with your stupid fucking band," etc.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 17:38 (twenty-one years ago)

27. (though this should be top ten) 3rd Bass, "Pop Goes the Weasel"

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

26. Lady Sovereign - Sad Arse Stripper

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 17:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Hole "Rock Star" aka "Olympia"

― daria g (daria g), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 18:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Johnnie Taylor, on "Love Bones," in which he admonishes James Brown, Wilson Pickett, Tyrone Davis to "check on your love bones, tell 'em JT told you." Bold and sneaky motherfucker.

Another one from the world of soul: James Brown's "Dead on It." Mozart, Beethoven, Schubert, Tchaikovsky, Brahams need to watch out. In fact, screw them, "seems like we coulda used a little more Brown." And some guys who are not dead, "They don't ever give me no royalties, and when they get on the different shows, they say 'yeah, I put it all together, by myself.' Listening to James Brown, that's all they got to say..."

― edd s hurt (ddduncan), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

24. Billy Joel, "It's Still Rock & Roll To Me."

― mike a, Tuesday, 29 March 2005 20:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Dead Kennedys - "MTV Get Off The Air". A decade or so later and 3/4 of the band are suing the other one because their music isn't getting played on..............................................................................MTV!

― Ben Dot (1977), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:31 (twenty-one years ago)

In a similar vein: The Replacements, "Seen Your Video."

― horseshoe, Sunday, 3 April 2005 05:46 (twenty-one years ago)

21. Not to state the obvious or anything, but..."Range Life?"

― Yngwie AlmsteenMay (sgertz), Sunday, 3 April 2005 18:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Not to state the obvious or anything, but..."Range Life?"

but there's no turf being staked in that one. "i/they don't have no function."

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Sunday, 3 April 2005 18:14 (twenty-one years ago)

20. The Fall - Idiot Joy Showland

― Tim Ellison (Tim Ellison), Sunday, 3 April 2005 18:33 (twenty-one years ago)

19. Run DMC "Sucker MCs"
18. Kool Moe Dee "How Ya Like Me Now"
17. LL Cool J "Jack The Ripper"
16. Roxanne Shante "Roxanne's Revenge"

― m coleman (lovebug starski), Sunday, 3 April 2005 19:04 (twenty-one years ago)

15. OK then. Ratt - "Way Cool Jr." in which they indirectly diss all the younger sunset strip bands trying to steal their thunder.

― Yngwie AlmsteenMay (sgertz), Sunday, 3 April 2005 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Lynyrd Skynyrd - Sweet Home Alabama
Eminem - Without Me

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 3 April 2005 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

12. (although this should be #1) Chuck Berry: "Rock N Roll Music"

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 3 April 2005 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

11. Dirtbombs' "Ode to the Black Man":
"If you see Stevie Wonder, tell him I see...i don't want no songs for plants I want songs for me".
Don't get mad y'all, he just playing

― tremendoid (tremendoid), Monday, 4 April 2005 01:36 (twenty-one years ago)

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