I (Insert Name Here) am ILM's (Insert Skill, Trait, or Quirk here)

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For example:

I, Bryan Moore, am ILM's blindest Neil Young follower...

― Bryan Moore (Bryan Moore), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 07:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I, The Brainwasher, am ILM's Brainwasher.

― The Brainwasher (Twilight), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 07:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Myonga Von Bontee, am ILM's most self-consciously professional, "polished" windbag, rarely using a single word when a half-dozen will do, spending a truly ridiculous amount of time to squeeze in every single idea in the most efficient way I can think of. And almost always in full-paragraph form, irritatingly so, as tho my twelfth-grade English teacher is reading and preparing to critique me. (Say what you will about Robert Xgau's musical tastes, politics or whatever: the fact remains that those little Consumer Guides blurbs are things of beauty in their economy.) I really (REALLY) wish I could be content to toss my one or two ideas in a simple, casual sentence or three like so many ILMers do, (and in no way is that a putdown) but creating those tortured full-paragraphs is a compulsion I can't seem to shake. As this post itself demonstrates.

Oh yeah, I am also ILMs authority on all things MX-80 (Sound).

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 08:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Ned Raggett, being of sound mind and body

― harshaw (jube), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 08:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Lee F#, am ILM's Big Baby Jesus.

― Lee F# (fsharp), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 08:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Good Dog, am ILM's dog.

― Good Dog (Good Dog), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 08:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Nathalie, am ILM's biggest No New York and dEUS loving woman.

― nathalie doing a soft foot shuffle (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 08:40 (twenty-one years ago)

i, grimly fiendish, am in possession of ILM's pointiest sideburns.

probably.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 09:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Geir Hongro, am ILM's guardian of all things melodic, harmonic and traditionally songcraft-oriented (or all things "white" as those who like putting skin colour on music may put it)

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 09:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I'M BRIAN FELLOW

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 09:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I'M BRIAN BLESSED!!

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 09:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Gordon's alive!

― NickB (NickB), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I, JBR, am ILM's token female.

― jody von oy (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 10:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I, elgofo, am ILM's Golfo and Mexican dj.

― elgolfo (elgolfo), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Ned Raggett, being of sound mind and body

I have to doubt the veracity of that statement.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 13:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Huk-L, am ILM's on-again/off-again live-in boyfriend who sleeps around and borrows money.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 30 March 2005 13:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Lynskey, am the closest thing on ILM to the Angel Gabriel

― A / F#m / Bm / D (Lynskey), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 14:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Blue Warrior needs food badly
Green Wizard shot the food
Yellow Valkyrie is under attack
Red Elf is dying...

― Lee F# (fsharp), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Alex in NYC, am ILM's own ipecac.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 14:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I the Haikunym
am the ILM version
of the Ichiro!

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 14:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I, southern lights, am ILM's version of Schrodinger's cat.

― southern lights, Wednesday, 30 March 2005 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Masonic Boom, appear mysteriously on Spacemen 3 (or other dronerock bands) threads, but very little else any more...

― Masonic Cathedral (kate), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Surfer Stone Rosalita, am no longer a lurker on ILM.

― Surfer_Stone_Rosalita (Surfer_Stone_Rosalita), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Douglas, am ILM's equivalent of Glyph from The Ballad of Halo Jones.

― Douglas (Douglas), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Felonious Drunk, am ILM's threadkiller.

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 18:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Not today, Felonious!

I, Ian Riese-Moraine, am ILM's grand proletaire.

― What we want? Sex with T.V. stars! What you want? Ian Riese-Moraine! (Eastern Ma, Wednesday, 30 March 2005 19:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Onimo, am ILM's Sad Old MOR Weekend Goth (or so I've been told).

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Dr. Gene Scott, am ILM's obstructed tear ducts.

― Dr. Gene Scott (shinybeast), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Alfred Soto, am ILM's most fervent contrarian.

― Alfred Soto (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Nate Patrin, am ILM's resident defensive spastic.

― Stupornaut (natepatrin), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I, JD from CDepot, am ILM's Biggest Ryan Adams fan.

COLD ROSES 5.03.05!!!!!!!!!

― JD from CDepot, Wednesday, 30 March 2005 23:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Bobby Peru (aka Moongood), am ILM's agitator and agent provocateur.

― Bobby Peru (Bobby Peru), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 23:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Anthony Miccio, am ILM's till I get a job that doesn't give me loads of free time on the net.

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 23:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know what I am! Jesus, I hope I'm not the village idiot or something. There's gotta be a bigger idiot around here somewhere.

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 23:33 (twenty-one years ago)

And if I stay on ILX after I do get a more fulfilling job, I'll just ILM's Malcolm X of sex.

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 23:34 (twenty-one years ago)

just be

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 23:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Salvador Saca, am Melissa W's gay husband.

― Salvador Saca (Mr. Xolotl), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 23:50 (twenty-one years ago)

i, fact checking cuz, am ILM's anal, smartass, buzz-killing fact checker (and on occasion i, fact checking cuz, am also ILM's acting cheerleader for sneeze, smudge, the hummingbirds and the lemonheads during those hours when ILM's australian contingent is asleep).

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Thursday, 31 March 2005 02:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Joseph McCombs, am ILM's Minister of Ensuring That At Least One Jefferson Airplane/Starship Song or Album Is Mentioned In Every List-Making Thread That Doesn't Involve Hip-Hop.

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Thursday, 31 March 2005 04:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Remy Ulysses Fitzgerald Snush x Jeremy J.E.R.E.M.Y. Second Drummer Drowned (sarastic), am ILM's resident musically-unknown but probably-not-reputable film critic.

― Remy Ulysses Fitzgerald (x Jeremy), Thursday, 31 March 2005 05:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Nag!Nag!Nag!, am ILM's belated poster to threads you thought had run their course last night [Except this one, obv].

― Nag! Nag! Nag! (Nag! Nag! Nag!), Thursday, 31 March 2005 05:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I, poortheatre, am ILM's designated neurotic interrogator.

You will find me lurking in threads titled, "Does the blip 0:59 into "Ode to Street Hassle" on the Perfect Presciption cause anyone else to lose sleep at night?" and "I rumpled the corner on the insert of my copy of Discovery-- should I sell it back?"

I also serve as ILM's outspoken defender of Pitchfork (although I didn't get involved in that thread bash yesterday).

― poortheatre (poortheatre), Thursday, 31 March 2005 05:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I've Ben Brown.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 31 March 2005 05:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I, VegemiteGrrl (aka Sharon), am ILM's Scrappy Doo. [Or replacement Becky on Roseanne, whichever cultural reference you prefer]

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 31 March 2005 05:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Forksclovetofu, am the tagalong lil' brudder forever yipping and yapping about my new discoveries and shiny new MP3 du jour.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 31 March 2005 05:24 (twenty-one years ago)

"ILX's tagalong lil' brudder", that is.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 31 March 2005 05:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I, j.lu, am ILM's most pathetic lurker/light poster.

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 31 March 2005 05:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Guitarthur Titsy Borgnine L'amour au Quai, am ILM's mild-mannered schoolteacher. The one who likes Redd Kross a lot.

― Love at the Pier (Arthur), Thursday, 31 March 2005 06:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I, Mark Grout, am.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 31 March 2005 06:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I, the drummer out of Gay Dad, was the drummer out of Gay Dad.

― the drummer out of Gay Dad (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 31 March 2005 08:58 (twenty-one years ago)

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