Strip Bar `Choons

A woman stripping to "She's Lost Control"?!? How odd. That sure doesn't sound strip bar, more like (bad?) performance art or a fetish club. Did the jock-rockers go nuts?

You're right about the hair metal, in my memory I can't think of any particular song, just sort of the ultimate distilled UR-hair-metal ONE TRUE RIFF. With squealing vocals.

And sexist, yes. Ah, youth, yes. I haven't been THAT young in weeks.

"What's new, pussycat?" Tom Jones. I laughed so hard.

I got dragged into a strip club last year. (Not that I have an aversion to seeing women undress - just that skanky women in a shithole bar undressing does nothing for me. And the beer always sucks. And this place had a George Foreman Grill and they were cooking pork chops. I still laugh when I think about the pork chops. But I digress...) So while I had countless lap-dance propositions and only Bud Light and Coors Light to choose from, and Motley Crue's "Girls Girls Girls" (or was it Quiet Riot? - same thing.) playing.. I was thinking what songs I would play if I owned the place..

Venus in Furs - VU
Dynamo Hummm - Zappa
Rumble - Link Wray
Anthrax - Gang of Four
Slip it In - Black Flag (Because of the bitchin' guitar solo, not the lyrics)
..
And then I started thinking about what kind of food I would grill.....

The one time I went to such an establishment, I was mildly amused to hear Rage Against the Machine's "People of the Sun"--could there be a greater ideological disconnect? (Okay, barring Fugazi's "Suggestion" and like-minded riot grrrl and straight-edge songs.)

I was thinking what songs I would play if I owned the place..
And Courtney Love would strip for ya, right?

And Courtney Love would strip for ya, right?

Who?
Did you miss the part about skanky women not doing anything for me?
The whole idea of strip bars is unappealing to me. Larry Storch could be stripping for all I care.

My expertise in this area is limited to what they played at the Baby Doll Lounge last summer. What you must know: the Baby Doll is a one-room dive with no cover charge and $8 beers. It seats about 15 people comfortably, maybe less. It is the end of the road. Songs I remember hearing were "Where the Party At" and "I'm Real". At one point I noticed two white girls enter and stand to one side, obviously not knowing anyone and obviously strippers. My friend Kevin is the kind of guy that talks to everyone, so he chats with them afterwards and discovers that they're from his hometown (somewhere in Massachusetts) and are "stripping their way south" to North Carolina. They eventually speak with a large gentleman who takes the CD they've brought and gives it to the DJ. They get up on the tiny stage and start stripping to LIMP BIZKIT --

welcome to the jungle is quite popular

Play some Felix Da Housecat; Lords of Acid and/or Prince and I'll pretend to be Kathleen Turner in Crimes of Passion.

So my old band actually played at a strip joint called the Clermont Lounge in Atlanta, back in 1994, with Pineal Ventana and DQE. We were sort of prog, sort of punk. On Thursday nights they had "indie rock" nights. The place was laid out like an L: the main stage (where the bands set up on this night) was at the lower left hand corner, seats were at the top, and a bar with a stage in the middle of it was on the lower right side.

So: the audience watching us are largely indie types. The audience around the bar, where the strippers are tonight, are older folks, much older. And we're playing some polyrhythmic song, I'm playing some fast 4-against-3 pattern on drums or something like that, and I look over my right shoulder. And this poor woman is standing on the stage, topless, desperately trying to look sexy while dancing to our music.

Not sure what moral there is, if any. Seeing Rusted Shut at the Pink Flamingo in Houston was also rather, um, odd.

Peaches.

Keep it sleazy.