you've never read a worse review than this here

Clap Your Hands ...
Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah

by Andrew Bottomley - October 13, 2005

This New York-based fivesome is everywhere. Their music is a joyful and sporadic mix of lonesome summer days and a light, poppy wine spritzer with a sultana floating in it, (you heard me correctly). Unpredictable, CYHASY's self-titled debut is a record that, without vocals, would sound like a compilation by seven different bands. But, thanks to the rivetingly whiney yelps from frontman Alec "I can't be bothered to be here" Ounsworth, it comes together in what is sure to be one of the most talked-about records of the year. Best track is a toss-up between "Details of War," and "In this Home on Ice"

He's like an ILM strawman come to life!

I, for one, agree with this part.

This in particular, but his writing style in general reminds me of "The Outside Scoop" Jackey Harvey columnist for The Onion.

That's right, he started shaving, he drives, he doesn't vote, and he's dropped the "lil'." Wanted, the doggy-disciple's sophomore effort, is a mish-mash of post-pubescent rhymes and sophisticated beats. Guest appearances pepper the disc, but stints from Snoop Dogg, Omarion and J-Kwon lack venom. My beef is that Bow Wow rarely gives props to his hometown (Columbus, Ohio), resulting in a sound with no direction or location, losing that intersting neighborhoody feel. But the production is great, and the disc moves as smoothly as a disc can when it lacks substance. Sorry, Mr. Wow, your record's a lil' flat.

nothing rhymes with colombus anyways.

Yet correct in his assessment of "Details Of The War."

OK, seriously now, this has got to be the worst review ever

YES!!

-- Dom Passantino

Dom, you speak the truth. Only Manchester's leading daily newspaper uses their idiot sports hack, coming up with classics like this:

ROOSTER are about as welcome on my stereo as a toilet break in the middle of the London Marathon.

I have heard their cliched brand of retro cock rock so many times before, most recently with the tired and tested sound of Reef.

But (isn't there always a but) I can almost forgive them this easy-going rock yarn. It's nowhere near so radio-friendly, guys and gals, as their earlier irritating offerings.

Yes, they still crow. And yes, they still wear Busted smiles while singing grown up rock songs.

But this Rooster track isn't nearly so foul as I'd expected.

That was the first one I could find by him, they get much much worse.

I, for one, agree with this part.

1. Poor and empty use of the word "basically": "I am basically sick of this crap."

2. Gratuitous and condescending use of scare quotes: "Yes, we know it's all about the 'Benjamins,' "

3. No commentary on the album itself except for its predominant lyrical themes -- which he may well be correct on, but it would be helpful to know how his delivery or his beats or his one-liners stack up against similarly themed albums in the genre. Since there's nothing of the sort marshalled as evidence, one might assume he hasn't heard other works within the genre; indeed, one can easily see this critic as dismissing the entire genre as, "oh, look at those rap guys, they're all about their 'Benjamins,' all about their 'gunz.' "

Their music is a joyful and sporadic mix

How the fuck can a music mix be described as "sporadic"? It only plays at occasional intervals?

On their debut, Havoc and Prodigy tell the listener in all sorts of overconfident manners that there are few people out there who can mess with Mobb Deep. In fact, they do so in 14 different ways on Juvenile Hell. Mostly produced by Mobb Deep themselves, this album is rawness at an unrelenting pace, with an undeniable, relentless and often irrational energy. The intro cut sets the mood as a warning, set to a "Queens brand" production. The tempo is kind of fast, but the bassline rolls to easily facilitate a strong headnod. The sampled horn stabs help to remind you that after all, it's still music. Over this beat Prodigy cautions: "it's called Juvenile Hell, you won't survive long." In the first few songs, Mobb acquaints the listener with the life of a "frustrated and confused young juvenile" living in Queens. Juvenile Hell is hardcore, but not void of musical pr creative effort and accomplishment; it's really cool, serious, and 100% hip-hop. Highlights include "Flavor for the Non Believes," "Peer Pressure," "Stomp Em Out" (featuring Big Noid), and "Hold Down the Fort." When Juvenile Hell was initially released, it didn't do so well in the stores. Perhaps it was the excess of threats and proclamations making up Juvenile Hell that kept buyers away in 1993, or maybe it was the label's inability to market this virulent project correctly. In any event, it's an album worthy of historical note.