Are your cultural choices merely props with which to structure your identity?

How many of us have had a girlfriend who started to like bands you liked and picked up your music tastes, but after breaking up, dropped them all? I know I have. You don't have to explicitly steer Alice in any direction for her to pick up your tastes.

To answer Nick's question though, I have no idea.

What do you mean, "merely"? Ain't no "merely" about it. This is my identity, in large part. It is a very fragile and conflicted one, to be sure. At least I admit it.

How many of us have had a boyfriend who latched on to your musical interests (from a starting position of approximately zero) and quickly developed much cooler tastes than you (according to peer group & critical fashion du jour) and got WAY further into it all than you were, leaving you feeling somehow poorer? I know I have. I mention this not to imply blame or cast myself as exploited -- there were many variables in the situation I'm referring to -- but to point out another way that this process of identity construction via cultural choices can work.

You don't have to explicitly steer Alice in any direction for her to pick up your tastes.

This is true. I don't know how old Alice is or what her connection is to you, but I'm going to assume that she is a small child and she is your daughter. Little kids tend to be attuned to their parents' likes and dislikes, their smallest tics of opinion and behavior, in ways that seem almost preternaturally subtle and acute from an adult perspective.

Well, Amber is subject to the same environment, and she's more into Kate Bush. She likes the Greenday/Busted/Ramones, and other music that goes around, but Alice "Ownz" it. If you know what I mean.

(I'm not posting that pic again...)

When we were children, my sister loved David Bowie. At the time, I couldn't stand him. Why was this? Was it my 'natural' (although of course this is arguable, hence this thread) taste, or simple contrarianism? I can't say, although there is certainly an amount of contrarianism to it.

Just this past week, almost twenty years later, I've heard a lot of David Bowie on the radio. My knee-jerk reaction is to dismiss it, although deeper down I am realizing that I kind of like it, and am considering looking for used Bowie albums during my next visit to the record store.

Why am I talking about this? I'm not sure. It just kind of came to mind and now that I typed it all, I'd rather not erase it.

And is it possible to cleanly break off "things for their own value" from "an image of who we wish to be"?

Had a friend who was a traditional Celtic musician, and I went to a few ceilidhs he played at. I respected my friend's genuine love of, knowledge of, and skill in the music, but could not take much real pleasure in the music itself, try as I might.

our own miniature ideological state apparuteses

http://prodtn.cafepress.com/2/10023172_F_tn.jpg

In my opinion, the recrds we choose can merely be props. Otherthings just make us happy. In the case of the guilty pleasure, its somthing that we don't want to be a prop, but makes us happy.

hell, theres no simple answer.

now to read the other responses...

(ps i was on the BUS today listening to TALK TALK'S LAUGHING STOCK on MY iPOD and somebody asked "ARE YOU TEH ALEX IN NYC" and i said "FUCK OFF I DONT SUCK JEZ "JAZZ" COLEMAN'S DISEASED COCK" and i was sad because i realised i am now an ILM WANKER)

I immediately think of myself in high school, first beginning to listen to music. I was an odd teenager, never really liking it beforehand. I owned any tapes or listened to the radio before. Don't ask how this happened, it just somehow did.

Being the immense nerd I was, I liked anime a lot at the time. So, the first music I really got into near the beginning of high school was Jpop. The first CD's I owned were imported from Japan. Horribly embarrassing, I know. I knew then too, and I kept these CD's secret. I didn't play them around people or discuss them. When friends came over, I pushed them out of view.

So, what's this mean? I can think of one possible explanation and a refution.

Cultural choices cannot possibly be "merely props" to structure an identity. For the existential process of self-identification, actualization, a response from the Other is required. So, if cultural choices are kept secret, it implies that there must be something intrinsic in the person and the choices that leads to those preferences.

Or: shit, I was a nerd. I wanted to define myself as different from everyone else. I listen to music they just don't understand! I can't let them know!

Now I am horribly embarrassed.

I think vestiges of this identity-building through music persist well after college. For instance, I probably praise Sleater-Kinney a little too vocally because my year-end top tens could really use a band like Sleater-Kinney; which means I'm working backwards from a preconceived idea of what my likes should be.

Expand on this, if you don't mind. Do you mean your list could use a rock band with loud guitars? an all-female band? an American band? And why should your year-end top ten include such a thing, if you don't really like it as much as you think you ought to -- is it meant to add weight to your opinions that they might have if your tastes were perceived as being overly narrow? Only asking out of curiosity and ignorance.

Sometimes the social aspect of liking a band is purely vicarious. In this case, you may not personally know people that like the band, but you might read their blogs or have an image of them based on things you've read or seen. Then you picture yourself as a member of this community.