TS: Chinese Democracy vs Paris Hilton's album

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Seriously, how long has it taken Paris Hilton Doesn't Change Facial Expressions to put this album together? Something over two years now? Anyway, apparently it has a "street date" of January.

"I wanted to create an album that actually gave messages to my fans... whilst keeping a certain groove and up-beat feel all the way through," explains Paris.

Hey everyone. Sorry if I'm a little spent. I did a whole lot of partying last night with a LOT of different guys. [coughs onto her left fist. All that partying can't be good for your stomach. Of all the females, only Wendy is stunned.] Anyway, I'm pleased to be here in Douth Dark to announce the opening of my brand new store! A store where girls can buy everything they need to be just like me! Stupid Spoiled Whore! [the red curtain drops to reveal the store. The crowd cheers] Have fun, girls. And remember to party, and be super-lame to everybody. Bye! [steps aside and off-stage. An assistant awaits with water and a tote bag, which has a Chihuahua in it. She holds out a bottle of water] Give me that! Fucking Christ I need a drink! [vomits out something brown, then drinks from the bottle. The assistant arms her with the tote bag] Where's my dog?! [walks off]

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 27 October 2005 08:51 (twenty years ago)

this is from the same writer who recently wrote a column prasing ELO, folks

gay shit is gay shit no matter how you dress it, folks

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!, Thursday, 27 October 2005 08:54 (twenty years ago)

That's Axl, right? xpost

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 27 October 2005 08:55 (twenty years ago)

did you know that Paris sacked her chihuahua and got a new one because Tinkerbell Mk I had got too fat?

Paris I love you.

(Scott Storch is producing some or all of it, isn't he?)

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 October 2005 08:57 (twenty years ago)

she should also cover mu's 'paris hilton'!

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 October 2005 08:57 (twenty years ago)

Can I use this as a chance to show one of my favourite photos ever?

Scott Storch, livin' the life:

http://xxlmag.com/Features/2004/1104.scott-storch/1.jpg

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 27 October 2005 08:59 (twenty years ago)

Wait a minute, she couldn't afford, like, a puppy colonic or something?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 27 October 2005 09:04 (twenty years ago)

well Tinkerbell's been around a bit, hasn't she? she must be quite elderly. so even if she was thin she wouldn't be right for paris.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 October 2005 09:07 (twenty years ago)

scott storch looks like michael carroll.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 October 2005 09:07 (twenty years ago)

Other rumours abound that the album will contain a cover of "Bette Davis Eye".

And by "Michael Caroll" you mean "Jack Osbourne", right?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 27 October 2005 09:15 (twenty years ago)

Scott Storch looks like a rich lesbian.

I prefer Nicky Hilton, myself, but Paris gets love too.

The original Tinkerbell actually vanished/got runover/was kidknapped and Paris got fleeced out of 10 g's by the people who brought her another dog who looks like Tinkerbell but upon further inspection wasn't actually Tinkerbell.

― Ellis, Thursday, 27 October 2005 09:38 (twenty years ago)

I want to go up to the Welsh hills, find some totally clueless rich farmers' daughter and get a load of bad electro-pop songs written for her plus a great PR team. Presenting POWYS HILTON

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 27 October 2005 10:16 (twenty years ago)

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