Rolling top 40 discussion thread, nr2.

I like how high it gets for "The Chipmunk Song"

Bland silver-tonsilled rapechild Shayne Ward clocks up a second week at number two, and similarly "My crazy dad, what will he get up to next! Oh, die of a heart attack" funsters Nizlopi remain at #2.

Highest new entry sees Hard-Fi decide money is a "good thing" at #14, and that's the sole new entry. However, post Xmas singles sales and download madness see re-entries for some old warhoses, including James Blunt at 16, Sugababes at 19, Kanye at 29, Kelly Clarkson at 36, Coldplay at 37, and the Kaisers at 39. 23 weeks on the chart for Daniel Powter. He's going to break half a year, isn't he?

Eminem holds on to #1 in the album charts, with Led Zeppelin's "Four Symbols" debuting at a majestic #40. Rock music, amirite?

This week the uk top 40 witnesses the second coming of the saviours of British Rock!

But first, #38 sees Sway trouble the waters of the top 40 for the first time, with his novelty/celebratory single. The bloke who triumphed over Fiddy at the MOBOs proves he can rhyme things with pooh. Forward Russia, despite its moniker, do not seem to write anthems about the advance of Leninism, but are quite unlistenable at #36. Ditto Test Icicles at #31. The Ordinary Boys move up 3 to #30 because someone from the band is in some TV show and is set to make a huge leap next week when it’s re-released. #27 is the Pussycat Dolls, who at 20 weeks, are the longest runner on the top 40. Like the Sugababes, Kanye and Arctic Monkeys, they have 2 singles in the chart.

But all is forgiven as Belle & Sebastian reach their highest chart position at number 13 with the lovely little jaunt “Funny Little Frog.” Given their steady rise of their past few singles – I’m A Cuckoo and Books EP both making the top 20, with any luck, I’m hoping that “The Blues Are Still Blue” and the left ladies in the launderette will gatecrash the top 10. By making number 13, “Funny Little Frog” has the distinction of being the highest charting single of any worth not playlisted by Radio 1 since the debacle when they missed out on Blu Cantrell/Sean Paul. Contestations?

Top 10:
JK & Joel interview Son of Dork guy who avoids the usual courteous “number 10 is great” attitude and acts MAD because he realises that he can’t scale the heights that he used to with Busted. He is pissed that an equally “credible” band, the Arctic Monkees aren’t at No. 10. Note to SoD guy: maybe you shouldn’t have broken up.

Monsieur Ashcroft befuddles everyone by remaining in the top 10, #8 is a dance take on that Michael Jackson/McCartney song by Hi-Tack, #7 dance take on Baywatch theme, #6 Nizlopi and their Asian dad still hanging around, and #5 hurrahs all around as Shayne Ward is finally knocked off the top after 4 weeks by a slew of new entries.

#4 Beyonce’s new single is sadly missing one of the following: Shawn Carter, Sean Paul, Rich Harrison, Kelly Rowland, thus only deserves number 4.
#3 is Will Young with the “actually quite sublime” “All Time Love” complete with a wonderfully ambiguous video. Is it just me or does Will Young have the greatest run of videos going on right now? In “Leave Right Now” he is quite crazed as he resists all attempts to drag him away from the camera, “Your Game” features bombastic sets as he pretends he’s a huge Broadway star, “Friday’s Child” begins with a great shot with him in arm floaties, “Switch It On” the notorious Hot Gun video, and “All Time Love” vaguely homoerotic, vaguely political, vaguely sentimental. Seriously, Will Young, well at least after his renaissance, is the definitive music video artist of this millennium.
#2 What are they trying to prove by mining Notorious BIG for all possible profit? Let’s all agree to leave them poor dead rappers alone.
#1 Arctic Monkeys – “When The Sun Goes Down.” Britain laps up a song about a scummy man. We all know the spiel, they’re set to be bigger than Oasis, the band that the Libertines couldn’t be, the biggest debut album in ages, perfect proclaims the guardian, the observer, NME, even Slate, all thanks to crazed fans on the internet and unironic Girls Aloud covers, etc, etc. Well they’re set to get the double next week by topping both singles and albums charts.

Surely the NME must be shitting themselves, especially with both Hard-Fi and the Editors knocking off the Bluntmeister in the albums chart.

Meanwhile, the Blunt advances to #15 on the US Hot 100, feasting its eyes on the top 10. Also flying the flag is Natasha Bedingfield at 28. The Brits only the export the very best.

(BBC News website)

Last seen in the advertising bumpers for Network Q during the commercial breaks on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, Leo Sayer brings teh irony to the #1 spot as "Thunder In My Heart" by Meck is your new #1 single. Two of histories finest playaz, Biggie Smalls and Preston from the Ordinary Boys take up the #2 and #3 spots, and Dead Or Alive are still top 5.

New entries: "You Got The Love" is still the best dance single ever and returns for its third appearance in the top ten (following on from 1991 and 1997) at #7, and Fall Out Boy finally kick off the Myspacemo movement in the UK at #8. Kubb may yet be (undeservingly) saved from the dumper at #18, probably can't say the same about Anthony Costa at #19 though. The fucking Alarm are at #24, and Bullet For My Valentine are upset about various things at #29. Three 6 Mafia score the most unlikely UK top 40 chart apperance since, well, Mogwai had one last week at #33, and El Presidente drop an early single of the eyar contender at #39 with "Turn This Thing Around".

Albumwise, you can make it three whole weeks of indie ruling this country with an iron first, as the Antic Markets retain that #1 spot, jsut ahead of your friend and mine, James Blunt at #2. "The Life Pursuit" gives Belle and Sebastian their most succesful album to date a #8, and Chris Brown turns up for one week before vanishing forever at #29. Worth noting at #7 are the Kaiser Chiefs, who are 3 weeks away from having the first entirely uninterrupted year in the charts since the Scissor Sisters. Well done all involved.

Chico Time on one hand, and Corinne Bastard Jesus Christ Do We Have To Go Through All This Shit Again Bailey "Not As Good As Jesse" Rae on the other. Now I know how 1967 felt.

Meanwhile in the album chart it's Mogadon time - The Voice And Guitar Of Pink Floyd (can Syd sue?) straight in at number one, Andrea Bocelli at 4, Van Morrison at 8 (and if more than eight people bought that I'd be bloody surprised). Elsewhere Shakira, Delays, Morning Runner, Leo Sayer, Mogwai, Mystery Jets and Little Willies all underperform.

P.S. next week, Westwood is presenting the Top 40 show on Radio 1 (!!!) albeit with Scott Mills holding his hand.

the first track you hear is alright, the next is Oh Them again, and the subsequent stuff is oh no.

Now read this: http://www.popjustice.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=109&Itemid=147

One hit wonder Corinne Bailey Rae returns to the top of the album chart, narrowly beating Russell "The Voice" Watson. What I want to know is when Penny Smith's album is coming out - I liked what Morley said in OMM yesterday about her singing, i.e. like the only two singers she'd ever heard had been Hilda Ogden and Captain Beefheart.

I actually enjoyed the OMM yesterday, not least for Man Like Simon Reynolds' accurate description of which is the best website for music writing.

Singles chart ultra-boring with a few old-style leaps to the top - Ne-Yo from 18 to 1, Pink from 49 to 4, Sean Paul from 53 to 11, oh and World Cup anthem authors Embrace in at 2 Southall to thread obv.

Michael Jackson reappears at 16 with "Bad." Yeah Yeah Yeahs at 18. And down at 71, why it's Killing Joke with "Hosannas From The Basements Of Hell."

(I'm kidding, you can if you want to)

Boss: What where who hell he?
Me: EastEnders.
Boss: Oh shit...

(dunno if it's THE single of the year, but it's abso-definitely up there. I don't reckon we'll be getting the Marit Larsen or RIP SLYME on these shores anytime soon, anyway)

Editors can finally stop promoting that bloody album at #21, one slot ahead of Sheffield types Milburn, who I've not heard but kind of suspect I don't really need to. A tribute single for Jinky Johnstone and the Radio 4 theme are at #28 and #29, ahead of The Automatic at 32 and The Pipettes at 35.

meaning 'Crazy' would be first #1 since ???* to have 2nd week sales gain?

*could be Shane X-Factor for all i know

no it doesn't! i mean it IS terrible but let us not forget that the streets' only no 1 to date came with one of the most ghastly things i've ever heard in my life, certainly worse than this.

i guess emo also fits into the boyband tradition of its members being pig-ugly as well.

boybands are traditionally a lot more sincere (ie their sincerity being overtly signified regardless of realness) than girlgroups aren't they?

There's still a lot of aggro towards emo from teenage boys though, D&D playing metalheads bottling P!ATD off at Reading, NME doing the "BAN THIS EYELINER PERV SCUM" schtick, etc. But yeah, at least there's an inroad into emo for teenage boys that there wasn't in Take That unless you were gay or 11.

girl group fun is heavily tied into vague feminism - the mild rebellion of a girl gang having fun together with no need for boys. there isn't really a boy equivalent.

the key is that SOME teenage boys will love the emo whereas NO teenage boys would have loved take that.

"BAN THIS EYELINER PERV SCUM"

omg i agree with the nme about something :o

So, consider.

Surprisingly high on the downloads is Jamie T at #13, with Beyonce's 'I Have Been Compiling A List Of Receipts And I Will Beat Your Ass' similarly positioned at #14. Amy Winehouse gets her first top 40 hit at #19, meaning her and Lily Allen can start slagging each other off now, which is nice. Pet Shop Boys get to #23 with 'Numb', The Holloways spearhead the New Wave Of New Mockney Shite at #30, Rogue Traders may or may not be download-fuelled at #33, Cassie probably is at #38, and The Goo Goo Dolls have some new song at #39 in a double A-side with bloody 'Iris', possibly to capitalise on the popularity of the Ronan Keating version, which is possibly the saddest thing to have happened to music this year apart from Sandi Thom.

Bodyrox ft. Luciana look set fair for next week's #2 as 'Yeah Yeah' is downloaded to #11, Cassie's physicals propel 'Long Way 2 Go' to #12, The View get their second #15 single of the year (except I think this might be downloads alone this time), The Magic Numbers get to #16 with a suitably polite amount of fuss, and Rihanna's 'We Ride' is a suitably snoozesome #17. The Kooks should fuck off now that 'Oourgh Laurgh' has peaked at #20, but you know they bloody won't. Reissue of 'Sofa Song' ahoy! Probably. The Raconteurs are #22, apparently, and The Long Blondes are perhaps not entirely performing as they might have hoped at #30. How fat is Dane Bowers? THIS FAT (#35), and The Cooper Temple Clause are the Hope Of The States that are still together at #36.

In the albums, The Brandon Flowers Pops fall from one to five behind FOUR CONSECUTIVE NEW ENTRIES, as short heads and necks separate Robbie Williams from MCR from Meat Loaf from Rod Stewart. In the same way that Sheffield United are a Premiership club, John Legend is #10. At #16, The Ordinary Boys enter their 'fame' period, and A Meat Loaf Best Of is #23. Oh, and Lemar's album climbs from 30 to 17. When asked for his opinion, KASABIAN'S TOM MEIGHAN launched into a STARTLING impression of Worzel Gummidge.

"Wes returning" was one of them. (hey, they read it out anyway and didn't giggle. Maybe it's a fearrrrrrr!!)

Fedde Le Grand becomes the first faceless Dutch chart-topper in, ooh, years, as Put Your Hands Up For Detroit ascends to the top spot from last week's #2. Bodyrox ft. Her From Portabella slot in right behind, and th'Aloud hold onto #3. Beyonce and MCR switch spots at 4 & 5, with U2 & Green Day taking The Skids to #6. Presumably this will climb next week, probably to #1. Winehouse stays at 7, Razorlight fall to 8, and, completely against the run of play, a McFly single doesn't sell that well in its second week - 'Star Girl' slides from #1 to #9. Oh, and Bob Sinclar's #10.

Below that, there's a quite literally proverbial slew of new entries. All Saints come all the way back to #11, though I think their physical single is out Monday, with Simon Webbe at 12 and Depeche Mode at 13. 17-19 sees new entries from Babyshambles, Jamiroquai and Keane, which ought to scare the kids away from the hard stuff for a while yet. Damon Albarn Knows Him Off The 'London Calling' Sleeve at #22, Tenacious D oh dear god why #24, PANTS!¬ are #25 (presuming the physicals are out next week for that one), with The Game at #26. And, weirdly, your final set of newbies are in a clod of three too - Klaxons #29, Sugababes #30 (given how often that's been on The Hits lately, you'd imagine it'll climb next week) and Sean Paul ft. Keyshia Cole #31.

Albums - GIRLS ALOUD HAVE A #1 ALBUM! For possibly the first time ever! The Sound Of Girls Aloud deposes I Am Robbie Williams And I Have Got Mad Skilliamz after a week, with Amy Winehouse debuting at #3. The Who are #9, The Crazy World Of Madeleine Peyroux #12, Tony Bennett As Seen On The Hit ITV Show X-FACTOR #15, An Aerosmith Best Of #19, ANOTHER FUCKING MICHAEL BALL ALBUM #22, Deftones #33, and Absolutely Definitively Timelessly Best Of Smokey Robinson #39.

Anyway, new number one time as Knobby Titslinger's good personal friends, Westlife, have the 13th chart topper of their career (13 times as many as Foreigner) with The Rose. THE TWO BIGGEST BANDS IN THE WORLD BAH GAWD, on the other hand, can only get "The Saints Are Coming" to #2, so pwnd. All Saints are back and rubbish at #3. I'm sure that Observer Women's Monthly shoot accounts for at least 30% of those sales.

Sugababes jump from 30 to #8 with their physicals for "Easy", whilst Madonna blah blah old blah blah horse blah blah Cockney husband is at #9. I could write for Star Stories with incisive comic wit like that. Except I couldn't because I'm aware of some things that have actually happened in the past eight years.

Downloads only for Akon (#12) and Timberlake (#14), and George Michael + One Sugababe = #15. I think you may be able to do a quadratic equation if you link that to "Easy".

Kasabain declare #17 "a load of rubbish, it's just a number innit, people don't want numbers these days they want words like lyrics in a song, innit?". Nothing good has ever come from Leicester. Infernal have a jig about with some dead lesbian's corpse as "Self Control" is your #18.

Paul Fucking Weller (#22), Robbie Williams downloads only (#28), and Taio Cruz (#29). Cruz has just taken a pause from being best man at his friend's wedding to do a quick line, look:

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/P/B000JFXTF4.01._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_V38722756_.jpg

Fuck that Amazon whitespace.

Everything Xtina loves goes away in the end, as Hurt bombs at #33, downloads only for America's sweethearts Snow Patrol (#37), and the Pigeon Detectives certainly have a wacky name at #39. Do you think they might sound a bit like Milburn from that name? Do you?

Long-players:

SEVEN NEW ENTIRES in the top 10. In order of how much I want to hear them:

Cliff Richard duets album (#8)
McFly are back (#6)
Angelis = Il Divo plus boobies (#2)
"Virtual Insanity" was OK i suppose (#1)
Forces Sweetmeal Katherine Jenkins (#5)
Damien "fucking" Rice (#4)
Paul Weller actually calls an album "Hit Parade" (#7)

There's not enough room for the Magic Numbers in the top 10 (lol fatteys) so they're #11, Abba's #1s collection is at #15 for the, what, six gay first years who don't have "Gold" already, Moby's best of officially less popular than everything else so far (#23), and The Charlatans best-of is a triumphant #38. 37 weeks on the top 40 for The Kooks.

Is there anything coming out this week which could knock them off?

(ps All Angels fits the "Il Divo + boobies" description better innit)

And while your hands are up, why not let them give a brief clap for your new number one, jovial criminal Akon and his good personal chum Marshall "Eminem" Mathers, who take "Smack That" to #1. I make it this year's third worst number one so far, any advance?

jtftti climbs to #2, and downloads alone put reformed Take That at #4. Yes, they are going to be bigger than Robbie Williams v.v.v.soon. I wanna be like Gary Barlow, but in fact I'm more like etc etc etc

Robbie himself uses his real world sales to take "Lovelight" from 28 to 8. Xtina climbs 22 places with "Hurt", and US tv soundtrackers and occasional useless indie act Snow Patrol go from 37 to 18.

Downloads only for YOUR Children In Need official single "Downtown" by The Lovely Emma Bunton (#24). Remember when Tom Ewing spoke about how bands make zinging them too easy by choosing accurate single titles? Little Man Tate- Man, I Hate Your Band (#26). And Macka-B is a lot whiter, indier, and more-than-one-personier than I seem to remember him, "First Love" is #40.

ALBUMZ

Local George Michael "25", #1. Sugababes single collection #3, and All Angels are #9. Care. Jack Black's funny songs about that one time he did beer pong to Slayer are #10, and non-threatening black hunk Simon Webbe is #11.

Best of Depeche Mode is #18, Andy Abraham is yr #19, and Cat Stevens first album since 1912 is #20. The Game will probably be climbing as soon as his singles hit the charts at #21.

You know how it was obvious to EVERYONE FUCKING EVER apart from some fucktard broadsheet music journalists that Jarvis Cocker's comeback was gonna do more wood than Wickes? #37. LOL I REMEMBER 1998 as well for All Saints #40.

!!!!! how can you be so bad at listening to music sometimes.

fyi the 3rd worst no 1 of the year is razorlight (only arctic monkeys and my chemical romance are worse)

1. Meck featuring Leo Sayer- Thunder In My Heart Again
2. My Chemical Romance- Welcome To The Black Parade
3. Scissor Sisters- I Don't Feel Like Dancin'
4. Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean- Hips Don't Lie
5. Orson- No Tomorrow
6. Nelly Furtado- Maneater
7. Gnarls Barkley- Crazy
8. Justin Timberlake- Sexyback
9. Fedde Le Grande- Put Your Hands Up For Detroit
10. Ne-Yo- So Sick
11. Chico- It's Chico Time
12. Beyonce featuring Jay-Z- Deja Vu
13. Madonna- Sorry
14. McFly- Star Girl
15. Westlife- The Rose
16. McFly- Don't Stop Me Now / Please Please
17. Lily Allen- Smile
18. Arctic Monkeys- When The Sun Goes Down
19. Notorious BIG featuring Diddy, Nelly, Jagged Edge & Avery Storm -Nasty Girl
20. Akon featuring Eminem- Smack That
21. Razorlight- America
22. Sandi Thom- I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker (With Flowers In My Hair)

1. Nelly Furtado - Maneater
2. Justin Timberlake - Sexyback
3. Beyoncé ft Jay-Z - Deja Vu
4. Shakira ft Wyclef Jean - Hips Don't Lie
5. Madonna - Sorry
6. Fedde Le Grand - Put Your Hands Up For Detroit
7. Akon ft Eminem - Smack That
8. Ne*Yo - So Sick
9. Gnarls Barkley - Crazy
10. Notorious BIG ft Diddy, Nelly, Jagged Edge & Avery Storm - Nasty Girl
11. Scissor Sisters - I Don't Feel Like Dancing
12. McFly - Star Girl
13. Chico - It's Chico Time
14. Lily Allen - Smile
15. Orson - No Tomorrow
16. McFly - Don't Stop Me Now/Please Please Please
17. Meck ft Leo Sayer - Thunder In My Heart
18. Sandi Thom - I Wish I Blah Blah Blah
19. Westlife - The Rose
20. Razorlight - America
21. My Chemical Romance - Welcome To The Black Parade
22. Arctic Monkeys - When The Sun Goes Down

What would the level of excitement be if that single had the artist designation of "Gary Barlow" on it?

I can't hear anyone else on it.