Music reviews auto-generated by value parameters.. do they exist? should they exist?

Someone brought up in the recent Xgau/antony thread that a review's purpose is describe the subject's work as worthy of time/cash/etc. and shouldn't be used as a pedestal for cleverness/creativity (the latter of which often seeds the former, and vice versa).

So, perhaps there should be a system for music reviews that takes away all the creative writing aspects, for people who are bothered by that -- which apparently is many -- and use a system that autogenerates music reviews given a relatively large number of value parameters.

http://www.capalert.com does this with movies. They do this with a very rigid religious bias, of course. But they do it, and the leanness of the reviews make Kate Moss look like a elephant seal bull in heat. No words wasted AT ALL. And plenty of line charts and calculated numbers at which to gaze.

Does such a site for music exist?

If not, how would you design it?