top 100: jay-z moments

97. You dudes is noodles/ I got more ziti to bake/ You dudes is cake/ I keep two bisquits on the waste/ Razor blades under the tongue/ I will eat your face/ Appetite for destruction/ I am starving today/ I got a money-hungry lawyer that'll eat the case/ And that's just food for thought/ Don't let it go to waste/ Nigga, bite the bullet until you stuffin' your face/

and it almost got to 100

I think at least 25% of mine would come either from The Takeover or from U Don't Know

Welcome to Jay Z's poetry reading.
Art. Who goes there?
It was the winter,
It was cold,
It was the cold winter.

60. Last seen out of state where I drop my slang
I'm deep in the South kickin up top game
Bouncin on the highway switchin fo' lanes
Screamin through the sunroof - money ain't a thang

I got this black chick, she don't know how to act
always talking out her neck, making her fingers snap.
...
"All you need to know is I'm not a ho
and to get with me you better be Chief Lotsadough"
...
I got this Chinese chick, had to leave her quick
cos she kept bootlegging my shit.

He 2-ways her, so she writes back
Smiley faces after all of her phrases
Either she the one or I'm caught in "The Matrix"
But fukkit, let the +Fish-burne+
Red or green pill, you live and you learn, c'mon!

13. "I got a hustler's spirit, nigga, period. Check out this hat, yo, peep the way I'm wearin' it."
Did he really just rhyme "period" with "wearin' it"?

12. "Everytime your name was brought up I would act all nonchalant in front of an audience--like if you was just another shorty I put the naughty on. But, uh, truth be told you do me for a loop, this Hov; I'm too old to be fronting when I'm feeling, Denzeling, acting like you ain't appealing when you are, stunting like you ain't my only girl when you are: I'm ready to stop when you are."
Best 7-line guest spot EVAR.

-- deej.. (clublonel...), January 18th, 2006 8:03 PM.

10. hooking up with that bearded dude to do that kick ass 99 problems song.

it took me a second to figure out that you weren't referring to Rick Ross.

To be honest, that photo pales into comparison with the photo of Fall Out Boy "hanging out" with Rihanna.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), June 18th, 2006. (later)

ugh
i feel obliged to post some lines to make up for this

my mamis dedicated
They never tell me no, the most they said is "not here"
I got they ears studded, both wrists baguetted
I got a main chick, a mistress, and a young bitch
Forget it I'm the don

i'm probably not explaining it that well,listen to it and you'll see what i mean

(i've seen this quoted a few times without the second part,which i think makes it)

squeezed off on him, left them paramedics breathin soft on him
what's ya name?

Who shot ya mob ties like sinatra

Music business hate me cause the industry ain't make me
Hustlers and boosters embrace me and the music I be makin
I dumbed down for my audience to double my dollars
They criticized me for it yet they all yell "HOLLA!"
If skills sold, truth be told, I'd probably be
lyrically, Talib Kweli
Truthfully I wanna rhyme like Common Sense
But I did five mill' - I ain't been rhymin like Common since
When your cents got that much in common
And you been hustlin since, your inception
Fuck perception go with what makes sense
Since I know what I'm up against
We as rappers must decide what's most impor-tant
And I can't help the poor if I'm one of them
So I got rich and gave back, to me that's the win/win
So next time you see the homey and his rims spin
Just know my mind is workin just like them...
... rims, that is

{*NB:- Don't want to do 1, that would feel like eating the last After Eight)

so...
0.
My pops left me an orphan, my momma wasn't home
Could not stress to me I wasn't grown; 'specially on nights
I brought somethin home to quiet the stomach rumblings
My demeanor - thirty years my senior
My childhood didn't mean much, only raisin green up

(you could pick loads of lines really,the whole thing is good,but the my demeanour thirty years my senior bit is a great line)

-3. Natural - Can I get at you?
Saw a spot on the body look nice with a tattoo
With my name, but didn't want to jump the gun
I Didn't Know how many niggas was humping hon
I said I never seen a face like yours before
And I been around some cute whores before..

introducing me to the phrase "bird-ass niggas"

-4. Friend or foe
Yo, state ya biz
Hmm, you tend to dough, ah
There it is
Me, I run the show, oh
And these kids
Don't like nobody comin' around here
Fuckin' with they dough for shit
You enterprisin' though, and I like it
But fuck with the big dogs yo, I gotta bite ya
Look, it's outta my hands
And you gettin money 'round here
Is not in the plans
Don't hop your ass outta that van
Head back to Kansas
I'm sending niggas back up in campuses
Chances slimmer than that chick in Calvin Klein pantses
Let me guess, they said it was money round here
And the rest is my stoppin' you from gettin' it, correct?
Sorry to here that
My guess is you got work at the hotel
I'll take care of that, you'll also see,
Now please, give me the room key
Ya twitchin', don't do that
Ya makin' me nervous, my crew
Well they do pack, them dudes in murderers
So please, would ya, put your hands back in sight
They don't like to see me nervous
You can understand that, right?
You draw, better be Picasso, you know the best
Cause if this is not so, uh, God bless
You leave me no choice
I leave you no voice
Believe you me son
I hate to do it just as bad as you hate to see it done
Now calm your boys
Cause I'm findin' it a little hard to concentrate with all the noise
Get the point
I'll let you go, before you leave
I guess I outta let you know
I need those keys
And a promise you neva, no matter the weather,
Eva eva eva eva eva eva eva come around here no mo'

-5. I'm from the place where the church is the flakiest
And niggas is praying to god so long that they Atheist
Where you can't put your vest away and say you'll wear it tomorrow
Cause the day after we'll be saying, damn I was just with him yesterday
I'm a block away from hell, not enough shots away from straight shells
An ounce away from a triple beam still using a hand-held weight scale
Your laughing, you know the place well
Where the Liquor Stores and the base well
And Government, fuck Government, niggas politic theyselves
Where we call the cops the A-Team
cause they hop out of vans and spray things
And life expectancy so low we making out wills at eight-teen
Where how you get rid of guys who step out of line, your rep solidifies
So tell me when I rap you think I give a fuck who criticize?
If the shit is lies, god strike me
And I got a question, are you forgiving guys who live just like me?
We'll never know
One day I pray to you and said if I ever blow, Let 'em know
the stakes and exactly what takes place in the ghetto
Promise fulfilled, but still I feel my job ain't done
Cough up a lung, where I'm from, Marcy son, ain't nothing nice

Friend or Foe OTM

-6 "What you eat don't make me shit"

get yr independant ass outta here................question?

I got extensive hoes with expensive clothes
and I sip wine and spit vintage flows

that second line is possibly my favorite hov easter egg

The lyricist who just keeps on giving.

niggas kick dirt/ get your whole block sweeped up

"See Jesus, see Judas/See Caesar, see Brutus"

and fuck that autotune 'cause we OOOoooooOOOoooooooon

this thread is top jay-z moments iirc

srsly

yall want his old shit, buy his old albums

lol

the AutoTune tease in the "Put On" remix is a billion times funnier than that (or the whole of "D.O.A.")

^^^

81. We tote guns to the Grammy's, pop bottles on the White House lawn /
Guess I'm just the saaaame ollllld Shawn

― deej.. (deej..), Saturday, January 14, 2006 12:37 PM Bookmark

had this in my head all day

I use to give a shit, now I don't give a shit more
Truth be told I had more fun when I was piss poor
I'm pissed off, and this success song is about
a bunch a niggas acting like bitches with big mouths
All this stress, all I got is this big house
Couple of cars, I don't bring half of them shits out
All of this ace of spade I drank just to piss out
I mean I like the taste coulda saved myself 6 hours
How many times can I go to Mr. Childs, taos mobu
Hold up, lemme move my bouwls
I'll shit on y'all niggas, OG tell these boys
(Ya ain't about to shit on my nigga)

I got watches I ain't seen in months
Apartment at the Trump; I only slept in once
Niggas said Hova was ova, such dummies
Even If I fell I'll land on a bunch of money
Ya ain't got nothing for me

whoops, terrible transcription I cut and pasted there