dreadful work music

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I have a crappy job (and I have had many in the past) where good-time oldies, blando classic rock and "smooth" "jazz" (sorry) is piped in all workday while I ply my mindless trade.

It's all from the same radio station (on this job), but I swear the entire catalog/playlist does not reach triple digits. Everyday, the very same songs in a different order. "Dancin' in the Moonlight" "Ticket to Ride" "Take it Easy" "Turn Turn Turn", "Crocodile Rock", something by Three Dog Night, you get the idea.

How, and more importantly, Why, do you take the History of MOR and distill it to 100 songs? The answer must have something to do with using music as a means to an end, but what do you suppose the end is, exactly? Providing a beat, but making sure not to irritate or offend... But what is it about repetition (which I find infuriating, insulting, patronizing, insane-making, etc.) that "hooks" people, if indeed it does, or, makes it so workplace-friendly?

― a regal trolley (aaron a), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 20:33 (twenty years ago)

http://www.lovefm.fm/images/MovieItems/2006_LoveSpot.jpg

― Sparkle Motion's Rising Force, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 20:48 (twenty years ago)

Oh my god, yes, I'm right with you on this. The lite radio station at the law office I worked at played the same songs every day (some of the same ones you mention). I swear to you, I heard "Drift Away" ("give me the beat now, save my soul, wanna get lose in your rock and roll, let's drift away") every weekday for four years, without fail. Why?

― Mark (MarkR), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 20:54 (twenty years ago)

Try asking your workmates if they are all into having the radio on. I managed to get it switched off in my workplace which made some people very upset but fuck 'em, listening to that shite was just offensive in the extreme and once I realised quite a few others hated it too I started complaining about it. My main argument was that if people want to listen to it they can do so on headphones. In fact there is no argument. That music will rot your brain and I suggest you do something about it Sparkle. (If I may call you Sparkle, of course.) Strange in these days of oh+s that noise pollution is still tolerated.

― bobilly, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 21:02 (twenty years ago)

first person to knock "Brandy, You're A Fine Girl" gets a fist in the chops.

― that's so taylrr (ken taylrr), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 21:02 (twenty years ago)

Someone was playing that irritating Kanye West track with the "brand new brand new" sample all the way through it on repeat ALL FUCKING day the other day. I nearly stabbed him with pencils.

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 21:03 (twenty years ago)

at my work its a movie theter and there always playing gay show tunes and mary poppins shit and jessica simpson

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 21:04 (twenty years ago)

The classic rock station down the hall plays Boston's version of "The Star Spangled Banner" every day at five o'clock. I've had to train myself to go use the bathroom at a different time to avoid that.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 21:06 (twenty years ago)

The worst thing is that you get the radio switched from (in London) Smooth FM to Virgin to Heart to XFM and they all share at least 60% of the playlist of another of the stations.

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 21:08 (twenty years ago)

The classic rock station down the hall plays Boston's version of "The Star Spangled Banner" every day at five o'clock.

Thank you for this, it is good to know that things could always be worse. OMFG I would go postal.

― Aaron A, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 21:09 (twenty years ago)

When I worked at KFC I almost started hating Christmas because for the last two months of the year all they play are Christmas songs. And not that many Christmas songs, believe you me.

― Eppy (Eppy), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 21:19 (twenty years ago)

I would go postal.

i love that i still see this phrase in print every once in a while...haha.. that's no diss, aaron.

― that's so taylrr (ken taylrr), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 21:50 (twenty years ago)

I don't even know where to get started on this. Me and my co-workers have had atrocities committed against us of the most heinous sort, to put it mildly. The bland oldies station they play when the store is closed is total relief compared to the fucking elevator music they pipe in when the store is open. And come Christmas time.....I shudder.

― Rodney's motives are beyond the comprehension of men (R. J. Greene), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 22:14 (twenty years ago)

Hearing TFF's "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" on lite radio has almost ruined the song for me :(

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 22:48 (twenty years ago)

Man, if I have to hear that "On The Radio" song one more time ...

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 22:48 (twenty years ago)

Though I've really grown to look forward to "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" and "Maggie May"

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 22:52 (twenty years ago)

The last time I worked at a place that played the radio was in 1996. My fellow workers and I fantasized about a pit where Alanis Morisette, Gwen "Don't Speak" Stefani, and whoever it was who sang that horrible "I Love You Always Forever" song would have to battle to the death for our amusement.

I hear stuff on the classic rock station nowadays and my first thought is always "who ever needs to hear this song again, ever?". Is there anyone out there who still has a strong desire to hear Hotel California? For whom that song is an unexpected treat that they haven't heard in years? How is this even possible?

― joygoat (joygoat), Thursday, 27 April 2006 00:07 (twenty years ago)

I shit you not, I share an office with a guy who spends all day playing self-composed new age music punctuated with extended intervals of Dave Matthews Band, Lillith Fair leftovers, and Pink Floyd's "Money". (in his defense, since he really is a nice guy outside of his abominable listening habits, he does listen to some good stuff - if nothing else, he loaned me a CDR filled with Steve Reich miscellany.)

So basically I would like to thank ILX for creating a thread explicitly for me and me alone to win.

― James.Cobo (jamescobo), Thursday, 27 April 2006 01:02 (twenty years ago)

Gawd, when I worked at Kinkos the music was piped in through some sort of subscription service that we weren't allowed to turn off. Would you like to hear the same 10 smoov R&B songs, the same 10 smoov rock songs or an assortment of holiday music? At least working third shift meant I could bring in a boombox and listen to college radio over the piped in crap...

― js (honestengine), Thursday, 27 April 2006 04:34 (twenty years ago)

Ach, I had the piped-in can't-even-turn-it-off experience during my two years at Denny's. Dehumanizing.

However, one good thing about the oldies station they played at the deli I worked in: One day I hear this song with this weird guitar, maracas, and heavy tom action -- "Bo Diddley" by Bo Diddley. And that's how I met your mother, er, became the biggest Bo Diddley fan in Allegheny County.

― O-Keigh (O-Keigh), Thursday, 27 April 2006 04:46 (twenty years ago)

Eppy, I never knew you worked at KFC. Christ.

Anyway, I love dreadful work music. Sincerely. I once listened to the same soft rock station for six weeks while shredding files with my hands. And at one point, I rode a public school bus with crappy speakers piping smooth jazz. At first, I wanted to set fire to my seat or something, but eventually, I got to think it was so funny and stupid that I couldn't not like it. Plus Sade is awesome.

― trees (treesessplode), Thursday, 27 April 2006 05:20 (twenty years ago)

I think self-composed new age music might be okay. I've never heard Dave Matthews Band, though any rock musician named Dave Matthews who calls his band "Dave Matthews Band" strikes me as someone who's got to have a shitload of interesting ideas.

I've had the standard kind of thing people are describing - standouts for me include Rod Stewart's "Tonight's the Night", The Eagles' "Hotel California" (which sort of works as a conceptual art piece, I guess), Peter and Gordon's "A World Without Love", Gary Fucking Puckett and the God Damn Fucking Union Gap's "Young Girl" and Blood, Sweat and Tears' "Spinning Wheel". Pretty much the same song at the same time every day. I know people that the repetition and familiarity of radio and/or repeat-playing one CD for weeks really works for - it seems to help for some people with Attention Defecit conditions and very nervous people, although I'm quite high-strung myself and I hate it. I don't have to listen to music at work any more, but on my way to work I wait at a bus stop outside a shopping centre that plays "smooth jazz" through an outdoor speaker designed to keep panhandlers away by drilling through their ears with treble.

― Ricki Belloni (Pangolino 3), Thursday, 27 April 2006 05:36 (twenty years ago)

I worked in a foodhall in a shopping centre that would play the same 12 song pop hits album over and over again, which has given me a deep and abiding hatred of "Your Gorgeous" by Babybird, amongst other songs.

― Neil Stewart (Neil Stewart), Thursday, 27 April 2006 08:18 (twenty years ago)

er, "You're Gorgeous" above!

― Neil Stewart (Neil Stewart), Thursday, 27 April 2006 08:18 (twenty years ago)

thread = OTM

i'm glad they pay me for having to listen to all this radio crap

― rizzx (rizzx), Thursday, 27 April 2006 09:22 (twenty years ago)

i hope no one slags of ne*yo's 'so sick', it's completely gorgeous and i would love to hear it right now.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 April 2006 09:26 (twenty years ago)

off

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 27 April 2006 09:26 (twenty years ago)

they could make slagheaps of it if they like.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 27 April 2006 09:28 (twenty years ago)

Gary Fucking Puckett and the God Damn Fucking Union Gap's "Young Girl"

I have never met anyone who has expressed anything other than hatred for this song. It's annoying and creepy.

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Thursday, 27 April 2006 10:16 (twenty years ago)

Someone was playing that irritating Kanye West track with the "brand new brand new" sample all the way through it on repeat ALL FUCKING day the other day. I nearly stabbed him with pencils.

I like that one but I wouldn't want to hear ANY song all fucking day.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 27 April 2006 10:19 (twenty years ago)

I share an office with Relix magazine. If I don't put headphones on, I spend the entirety of each working day listening to jam bands (and I'm talking second- and third-tier jam bands) and indie "rock" (Postal Service, Death Cab For Cutie, Flaming Lips). One time I approached the office stereo with Ghostface's Put It On The Line. That lasted about five minutes, then everyone else voted for Umphrey's fucking McGee or something.

― pdf (Phil Freeman), Thursday, 27 April 2006 10:23 (twenty years ago)

With reference to the person hating xmas music:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4531190.stm

― T B (T B), Thursday, 27 April 2006 12:25 (twenty years ago)

no music in the big, soulless corporate office I work in. However, I do believe piped in music is just all a part of the oppression of working in an office. If the music were always different, people might be tempted to pay more attention to it, instead of using a small part of their brain to attempt to block it out, thereby giving them less resolve to resist their work.

― Dominique (dleone), Thursday, 27 April 2006 12:31 (twenty years ago)

Muzak Corporation

― Neil Stewart (Neil Stewart), Thursday, 27 April 2006 12:34 (twenty years ago)

couple of years ago i worked at the distribution-center of a supermarket-chain during the summer. Was a big warehouse where we had to drive around little cars collecting all the stuff the different stores had ordered. Anyway, most of the day some random top40-station was playing. Nothing inherently wrong there but every day at around 3 they changed the radio to the supermarkets own in-store station, ie the one with all the really slow music intended to make people walk more slowly around the stores in the hope that they buy more stuff. Not exactly something you want to hear about seven hours into a eight hour shift...

― (jg) ((jg)), Thursday, 27 April 2006 12:50 (twenty years ago)

I've luckily done a good job of making sure I can play my own music at all my jobs. One exception was the summer after my freshman year in college. I needed something quick until I found a better job, so I worked at McDonald's for two weeks. They had canned music there, and I couldn't stand it, so on my third day I found where it was, and discovered there was a receiver there. So every day I switched it to my college radio station. Strangely, I wasn't fired for that. It must have been the only time you'd hear stuff like Throbbing Gristle in a McDonald's (I'd call in and request stuff like "Hamburger Lady"). I wasn't fired for throwing pickles onto the wall either. I guess they were used to having unruly losers working there. It wouldn't have been a bad gig if the food didn't give me crippling stomach cramps!

― Fastnbulbous (Fastnbulbous), Thursday, 27 April 2006 12:53 (twenty years ago)

i was at McDonald's in London once, the seating was downstairs. i couldn't fiugure out why they were playing low volume but pounding gabba until years later i read that some fast food places play high BPM music to get you to eat quicker in order to free up seats.

― jinx hijinks (sanskrit), Thursday, 27 April 2006 12:54 (twenty years ago)

weird. i was composing message about McD as you wrote that.

― jinx hijinks (sanskrit), Thursday, 27 April 2006 12:55 (twenty years ago)

I still feel violent when I hear that Kenny Loggins song about "the days of Christopher Robin" after being subjected to it endless times while working at a Casual Corner clothing store. (Casual Corner has now gone out of business - connection?)

― Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Thursday, 27 April 2006 13:27 (twenty years ago)

Oh man, I can TOTALLY relate - I've whined about JACK-FM and its meagre playlists several times before. They play an admirably diverse array of performers, then undermine this false adventurousness by sticking to only the most obvious and overplayed "hits" by said performers. Wanna hear Black Sabbath, OutKast, Roxy Music, The Cult and the Monkees, all in the same day - or the same set, even? No problem. Don't care for "Hey Ya"/"Love Is The Drug"/"She Sells Sanctuary", would prefer to hear ANY alternate selection instead? Forget it. These are songs I like, and they're having the life sucked out of 'em through overexposure. Better we should switch to the dance/R&B station - even if I hate 75% of the crap they play, there's still the unexpected thrill I get from hearing the occasional gem for the first time (or the second, or the third.) The sort of thing that I otherwise wouldn't encounter because I probably wouldn't voluntarily seek it out. (Because, paradoxically, that would feel too much like WORK.)

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Thursday, 27 April 2006 14:46 (twenty years ago)

my co-worker used to play the same 2-hour-long frank zappa mix EVERY DAY. sometimes twice a day. :( :( i think this went on for about a year. those were hard times.

― 6335, Thursday, 27 April 2006 14:59 (twenty years ago)

This thread strikes quite a chord: although there's no music in my current office (thank god), I spent years through high school working at a grocery store with godawful satellite radio pumped in 24 hours a day. This was where I developed hatred for Simon & Garfunkel (Bridge over troubled water), phil collins (another day in paradise), and Celine Dion (titanic song?). After a few hours, the stuff melts your brain. In the winter, the continual rotation of Christmas music made me realize there are really only 20 different Christmas songs covered ad nauseum by different artists.

Once, however, a huge snowstorm wiped out the satellite for a day or two, and the only station they could get played Spanish dance music. It was great.

― Jam (1020am), Friday, 28 April 2006 15:45 (twenty years ago)

after reading this thread i feel so lucky to get to wear headphones while i work

― rentboy (rentboy), Friday, 28 April 2006 16:45 (twenty years ago)

Cubicle music is the equivalent of reheating leftover sauerkraut dishes whilst phone-gossiping over a steady supply of s.b.d. flatulence.

― christoff (christoff), Friday, 28 April 2006 17:36 (twenty years ago)

I had to quit the supermarket stockboy job I had the summer between high school graduation and my first year of college. 10% of it was that I could never remember where items were, and even 3 months after I had started working, my fallback response to any question from a customer was "I'm really sorry, it's my first week here and I don't know where it is...sorry!".

The other 90% was the muzak. Oh god, the muzak.

― Zachary Scott (Zach S), Saturday, 29 April 2006 05:58 (twenty years ago)

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