PUTTING ON THE FUCKEENG RITZZZZZZZ (Weird Al'ed, though, but not traditionally -- I mean, "weird al with his most intimate friends who won't rat him out for being a jerk because let's face it: the mo

YEEEE-ah, BAY-BEEE

Um.... OH, YAH.

It's, like, rhyming thing that mocks Rockefellers... Hmm...

Wait a minute!!!!!!!

What... about...

THIS?!??!?!?!?!?

If you're balls are blue and you don't what to do
why don't you blow where some guy sits?
Eat a bag o' dicks.

Different types who wear a day coat, pants with stripes
and cutaway coat, perfect fits,
Eat a bag o' dicks. (notice this was the only line I had to change here)

Dressed up like a million dollar trouper
Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper (super duper)

Come let's mix with other fellas, grab their dicks
and undrrress 'em, pack their shit,
Eat a bag o' dicks.

Have you seen them slob the knob up and down like Neil and Bob
Assless chaps, no underwear, it's nice if they wax their bodyhair
High hats and Arrow collars white spats and lots of dollars
Spending every dime for a wonderful time

If you're balls are blue and you don't what to do
why don't you blow where some guy sits?
Eat a bag o' dicks.
Eat a bag o' dicks.
Eat a bag o' dicks.

I apologize if this sounds like I am homophobic. I'm totally not afraid of homosexuals. Unless they are big, angry and have no sense of humor.

that's you, that is.

"My schtick was worked up in comedy clubs from coast to coast
we did focus group testing
buzzers and percentages and intimate questions
and this is what they came up with, as a 'most favorable.'
It's not me, it doesn't define me, it doesn't have to. I can do
a variety show on my own two feet: dance, tap, tell jokes, shmooze with hope/conan, act a straight man.
You can't put me into just one role."

I'm so glad someone else typed things on his keyboard.

u don't make any sense but i'm with u

Uh, interesting thread ...

"There's a market out there, where you wouldn't expect it.
It's called the long-tail theory and I'm a living, eating, coochie-pumping example of how long the tail actually is.
Cruise ships. The Adirondaks. Florida Florida Florida.
You don't know gold until you've mined old gold.
I'll retire by thirty-eight, for sure.
An island for me and my hairplugs and my act and
a wife.
Mark that on your calendars."