Constantine Maroulis, enduring sex magnet

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After the 31-year-old rocker finished fixing his hair, even fluffing the hairs on his chest a bit with the blow-dryer, he sprayed a coat of Axe deodorant all over his torso, put on a purplish T-shirt with an indescribable graphic design, yanked on a pair of ornately embroidered beige cowboy boots, and put his arms through the sleeves of a slick black leather jacket. As he prepared to leave, he looked one more time at the only photo that decorated his otherwise nondescript dressing room—of Maroulis standing with his arm around a pudgy middle-aged woman, the fan who sent the photo to him. He smiled a little as he looked at it, as though it reminded him of those who found pleasure in standing next to a real live star.

Tonight a woman Maroulis had met recently—at one of the rock performances at bars and clubs that now fill his schedule—and who had been writing to him on his MySpace page was going to meet him backstage. He seemed interested to get to know her because they shared New Jersey roots. "She's, like, a very sexy Jersey girl," he said to a visitor as he prepared to reacquaint himself with her in a few minutes.

Yeeeeeeeeeeah.

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Friday, 6 October 2006 18:10 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.villagevoice.com/news/0640,ashman,74626,6.html

if you really, really wanna read the whole thing

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Friday, 6 October 2006 18:12 (seventeen years ago) link

While Maroulis sat on a stool at his kitchen counter and checked his MySpace page for new e-mails on his laptop, Hamboussi was playing around with the new Chocolate cell phone and MP3 player Maroulis received in the mail as a gift. Maroulis was looking at photos of himself online and complained that unauthorized shots of him taken by a Broadway photographer were being circulated. This was driving him nuts because they accentuated what he considers to be his double chin.
"It's so annoying to see it again and again and know you could have controlled it," he complained to Hamboussi. "How does someone like Angelina Jolie deal?"
Suddenly Hamboussi noticed that Maroulis had another brand-new cell phone sitting unopened in a box, which he also got for free.
"You should give me this phone," Hamboussi said.
"No," Maroulis said, quickly and definitively.
"You're not going to do anything with it. What are you going to do with it? You know in like two years it's going to be obsolete, so you might as well give it to me."
"Oh totally. There is potential for me to give that to you. There's potential."
"Show me your brand-new phone."
Maroulis held his up.
"Look! A BlackBerry. You don't need this piece of crap," Hamboussi said, referring to the free phone he wanted.
Maroulis seemed to be feeling embarrassed now and said in a quieter voice, "I like to have everything."
"What?" Hamboussi laughed.
"I'm OCD. I just like to have all my shit."
"I have a cheap Nokia phone. Look!" he said, placing the sad-looking phone on the counter. "I should have a nice, dope phone if I'm going to be the webmaster. Wait till you see the new design."
Finally the subject was dropped and Hamboussi took out a joint for them to share.

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Friday, 6 October 2006 18:27 (seventeen years ago) link

..."even fluffing the hairs on his chest a bit with the blow-dryer" HA!

― Andi Headphones (Andi Headphones), Sunday, 8 October 2006 19:04 (seventeen years ago) link

As he prepared to leave, he looked one more time at himself in the mirror. He licked his reflection, then exited the room.

― Edward Bax (EdBax), Sunday, 8 October 2006 22:23 (seventeen years ago) link

"It's fucked-up," Maroulis went on. "You put Scott Savol's poor overweight kind of white-trash family on there stirring the spaghetti and some ketchup and all of a sudden you get, like, half the country's votes. That's just the way it is."

Ell. Oh. Ell.

― bernard snow (sixteen sergeants), Monday, 9 October 2006 00:42 (seventeen years ago) link

I think the most amazing thing to me about this story is that they gave the writer so much SPACE to detail an evening in Constantine's life.

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Monday, 9 October 2006 10:45 (seventeen years ago) link

That's true ... what's the point of the story? If we're supposed to gawk at his fall from grace, car crash style, then I wasn't feeling it. He's conceited, self-centred, and likes hitting on girls at clubs. So are a lot of people. He's hardly a burnout, and his life just isn't interesting enough to warrant that "day in the life of ..." treatement. Either that, or the story was just too boring to make me care about his semi-fame. I can't imagine that even his biggest fans would be interested in reading about ... uh, ordinary people doing ordinary everyday shit.

― NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Monday, 9 October 2006 11:12 (seventeen years ago) link

It's growing pains as the Voice adjusts to what its new wagemasters conceive as magazine-style journalism.

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Monday, 9 October 2006 19:17 (seventeen years ago) link

At one point, I think the Voice would have recognized that being in a Broadway show = HUGE, AWESOME, FUCKING ENORMOUS DEAL to pretty much any performer on Earth, especially someone trained in musical theatre at a conservatory (like Constantine was).

― Young Fresh Danny D (Dan Perry), Monday, 9 October 2006 19:27 (seventeen years ago) link

There are a lot of things that the Voice doesn't recognize now.

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Monday, 9 October 2006 20:15 (seventeen years ago) link

Dan's (OTM) comment notwithstanding, why did he agree to the article in the first place? How does someone agree to what anyone knows is going to be an utter and complete hatchet job? Is he delusional enough to think the Village Voice would pay for a puff piece about him?

The bit about the cel phones is comedy gold.

― Ash (ashbyman), Monday, 9 October 2006 22:00 (seventeen years ago) link

As, to answer your least question: probably (I imagine that's why he agreed to the story.)

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 10:49 (seventeen years ago) link

Ash, to answer your least question: probably (I imagine that's why he agreed to the story.)

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 10:49 (seventeen years ago) link

You have to remember that this is a classically-trained crooner who thinks he's a rock and roll bad-ass; "delusional" is pretty high up on the charts. Pat Benetar totally embraces her classical past to the point of parody while Constantine would have liked for everyone to think he came solely form the garage band scene rather than Boston Conservatory.

― Young Fresh Danny D (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 13:41 (seventeen years ago) link

It gets funnier the more you think about it.

Why can't someone write a piece like this about Ruben?

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 14:20 (seventeen years ago) link

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