Bottom 5 worst songs by your favourite artists.

5. Repetition - Immemorable early album track
4. Turn It Up - Tossed-off lyrics, unimaginative musicianship, even the band have decided to kick this one out the nest.
3. Girls & Boys - Yes I said it. I skip this track the second those bubbly synths begin Parklife.
2. Entertain Me - Particularly the Live It! remix which sums up Blur's mid-90s tumble from saviours of the British music scene into bloated media teenpop hell.
1. Tender - Bleeeeeuuuuuurrrrgggghghhhh! Bleeeeeeuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrgggh!! Oh God, God make it sto--Bleeeeeeuuuuurrrrrrggggghhhh!! Come on, only 6 and a half minutes le---Bleeeeuuururrrrghh! Gotta get through it, you know Coffee & TV's only round the---Bleeeeeuuuurrrrghhh! Must...not...hit...skip!

5. Liar - aimless
4. 60 Miles An Hour - Bob Seger
3. Jetstream - actually I don't dislike this, but it is the first clunker after 7 fantastic tracks on WFTSC and kills the momentum
2. Subculture (single version) - great album track horribly buggered up by random percussion, braying women on backing vocals and some hideous Fairlight-esque synth stabs.
1. Rock The Shack - I blame Gillespie for this abomination.

know - boring
introduction - gameshow music
magic - his worst vocal performance
bryter layter - seriously, how many instrumentals did the record need?
cello song - pretty, but bland

5. Throwing It All Away (One of Phil Collins' most boring ballads)
4. Hold On My Heart (An even more boring ballad by Collins)
3. Whodunnit (Possibly a good idea that ended up as a bunch of pointless dreck anyway)
2. Congo (That "Calling All Station" album is slightly better than its reputation, but this awful single is not)
1. I Can't Dance (Genesis doing blues/rock? BLAAARGH!)

hahah wogan, i like them too mostly, it's just that the ratio of them on that record is just too high!

5. Club America - I used to like it, then realized I didn't.
4. Strange Attraction - Clunky, awkward, awful.
3. Mint Car - Worst single they released by miles.
2. Return - EURGH just gross.
1. A Thousand Hours - FOR HOW MUCH LONGER CAN I WAIL LIKE A LITTLE GIRL KICKED ME IN MY TINY TINY BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLS?

(xpost: the problem with this thread is that for quite a lot of artists the bottom 5 almost all come from the one record OTM)

When Emily Cries (boring)
Painter Man (that whiny vocal omits the melody entirely)
A Day In Heaven (boring, irritating, possibly recorded in a cave)
Arthur The Gardener (faux-childish gone waaay too far)
Mentioned In Dispatches (cringe inducing seriousness)

Mercy: The Laundromat
Hit The Plane Down
Type Slowly
Speak, See, Remember
Newark Wilder

15 Ways To Leave Your Man
Idiot Joy Showland
Popcorn Double Feature
Birmingham School of Business School
Don't Call Me Darling

(all for the crime of me remembering that I don't like them)

Elevate
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
Mysterious Ways
Walk On
Walk to the Water

5 "Stormy Weather" Pointless album filler, Christ knows why they resuscitated it for last year's tour

4 "U-Mass" Lumpen monotone rock-by-numbers with the dullest chorus on record

3 "Brick Is Red" Hmm, what shall we do with the last two minutes of this album?

2 "I've Been Tired" Very obviously filler amongst the other seven tracks on Come on Pilgrim

1 "Bird Dream Of The Olympus Mons" A song which predicted some of the worst of FB's solo output

"Panty Lines"
"Kissability"
that song from the Groovebox comp ("Campfire"?)
"Kool Thing"
"Master-Dik"

Every single one. I love "Wild Mood Swings", and consider it a great pop album and one of the best Cure albums ever. "Mint Car" is genius!

1. What Goes On
2. Act Naturally
3. For You Blue
4. Love You To
5. One After 909

Jefferson Airplane

1. Spare Chaynge
2. My Best Friend
3. The Farm
4. How Do You Feel
5. Feel So Good

THIS IS THE TALKING SHITE POLICE

WE NEED TO HAVE WORDZ WITH SEVERAL OF YOU FU~RKERS ~ U{P DERE

5. Don't Kill the Whale. Tormato Dreadful, and there's no way it should have ever been picked as a single.

4. Circus of Heaven. Tormato A mess of a song, ending with twee 'punchline' from Jon Anderson's son.

3. Teakbois Anderson, Bruford, Wakeman, & Howe Sounds like Buster Poindexter meets Hawaiian Punch commercial. Extra points deducted for the excruciating "On Broadway" detour in middle of the song.

2. Dangerous. From the Union album. Basically, Jon Anderson + session musicians, without even bothering to go through the motions towards suggesting otherwise.

1. Man in the Moon Open Your Eyes. Embarrassing.

Haven't heard "Congo"--it's worse than "Whodunnit"? That's hard to imagine, though I suppose possible. Agreed that "I Can't Dance" is their #1; not because of blues/rock--that frankly didn't even really occur to me-- but just because it's supremely irritating to listen to. "Hold on My Heart" is wretched, I agree, but while I don't especially care for "Throwing It All Away", I wouldn't put it in the Top 5. Speaking of which, I think "Illegal Alien" needs to be on here, and badly.

R.E.M. (Bill Berry years only)
- Burning Hell - It was probably fun to play during soundcheck, but that's no reason it had to hit tape
- The Wrong Child - Keeningly annoying
- Endgame - Or, really, any instrumental over 2 minutes long they've ever released
- We Walk - Stumbled
- Any one of several songs on Monster - Hey everybody, Pete got a new pedal!

Pink Floyd
- Alan's Psychedelic Breakfast - Conceived and recorded in less time than it takes to listen!
- Bring the Boys Back Home - How did this fragment of filler make it past demo stage?
- One of the indulgences from Ummagumma (probably one of Rick Wright's--I actually kinda like the Nick Mason bits)
- Some song from Momentary Lapse of Reason - I'd name one, but I can't remember how most of the songs go. And I just finished listening to the album 2 minutes ago
- Oh, something bland from Obscured by Clouds - See, my problem is that I even like Floyd's crap tracks way too much. Can't I just list most of Roger Waters' solo career here?

Well, they're not exactly my favorite, but it's easier than others:

Yo La Tengo:

Attack On Love (pointless noisy shit, brightened only by the shout of "Hey man, y'all SUCK!)
Sunsquashed (Jesus, Ira, what the fuck?)
How To Make a Baby Elephant Float (urgh, ultra-wimpy whispering of sweet nothings. Might be decent if done by Georgia, but - no)
Let's Compromise (boring)
The ultra-slow, no-fun version of Some Kinda Fatigue

I do like the middle part to such an extent the song has that little something. So to me it isn't among the worst of their 80s work.

A couple other of my fave acts

Depeche Mode:
5. The Dead Of The Night (Just too noisy from an otherwise underrated album)
4. To Have And To Hold (Just doesn't make sense. Vocals too low, too much of a mess)
3. Pimpf (Speaks for itself. A failed attempt at doing "avant garde")
2. In Your Room (The zephyr mix is worst because of its faux-grungeness)
1. I Feel You (The melody is way too bluesy, the arrangement way too industrial and noisy. Obviously the worst thing they ever did)

5. Bungalow Bill
4. Love You To
3. Maggie Mae
2. Good Morning Good Morning
1. Mr. Moonlight

One in common with Joseph's list upthread. No Ringo songs in mine - they're alright!

Aw, I like this one.

1) My My, Hey Hey (Out of the Blue)
2) Hey Hey, My My (Into the Black)
3) Rockin' in the Free World
4) Let's Roll
5) Sedan Delivery

5. You Tear Me Up (actually it's OK, but the 'swine' lyric is so weak)
4. Some Kind Of Wonderful (from 'All Set'). NO kind of wonderful.
3. Credit (from Flat Pack Philosophy). An, erm.... 'incisive' critique on the capitalist society.
2. Alive Tonight. (from the Alive Tonight EP). Just crap.
1. Energy (from Trade Test Transmissions)- "we neeeeed en-er-gee" OK Steve, we'll try and find you some.

"Bungalow Bill" and "Love You To" are both great.

unconventional to be sure :)

everything means nothing to me
shooting star
in the lost and found (honky bach)
satellite
the last hour

god, that was hard

5) Vi Scose Poise - just a bit meh, nothing going on here
4) iv vv iv vv viii - no melody, no rhythm
3) Hub - clink clank clonk bang bang bang
2) Lowride - yuk jazz
1) Dial - sounds - intentionally? - like the countdown theme.

5) Egg Shaped Fred
4) Cry 2 My Face
3) Fool
2) Love Is...
1) We Are The Boys

1) is significantly worse than all the other songs in this list. it is an abomination.

my Blur would be:

5) B.L.U.R.E.M.I.
4) Turn It Up
3) We've Got A File On You
2) Bank Holiday
1) Chinese Bombs

NOTE TO BLUR: DO NOT ATTEMPT 'PUNK' ROCK

P.S. Doglatin, your choices for Blur are barmy. Repetition is the best song on 'Leisure'! Except 'Sing'! And everyone likes that one!

1. Strange Attraction (nr.1 by a very long shot)
2. Doubt
3. Fight
4. Round & Round & Round
5. 39

Sure. Lennon & McCartney may have been great 50s rock and R&B fans, but it was exclusively the non-rock/R&B elements that made The Beatles great. Those two songs have zero non-rock/R&B elements.

5. Intervals
4. The Groop Play Chord X
3. Gus The Mynah Bird
2. Surrealchemist
1. Outer Accelerator

Stereolab (other recordings, all worse than the above 5)

5. Plastic Mile
4. 1000 Miles An Hour
3. Get Carter
2. Monkey Jelly
1. Soop Groove #1

"Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except For Me and My Monkey" would be in my Top 5 Great Unsung Beatle Tracks.

The Gift
It's not very clever the first time. Gee, is he going to die in the mail?

Cool It Down
Actually everything about this song is great, but the chorus is so banal, so weirdly awkward in it's attempt to be idiomatic, and so far from sounding anything like what makes a Velvet Underground chorus great that it summarizes for me the argument against loaded. I know, I know, people hate lonesome cowboy bill, but I love lonesome cowboy bill. I hate the freak'n chorus to cool it down.

The Murder Mystery
Has a lot of good stuff in it, but it's a classic case of less than the sum of its parts, and more importantly, its location in place of a proper climax on the third record is so disastrous as to make this the most regrettable of all VU cuts.

Who Loves the Sun
Not everyone apparently.

That's the Story of My Life
The only piece of obvious filler on the third VU album and arrogantly underwritten, but mainly because I'm not positive Lady Godiva's operation isn't better than I think it is.

5. "Got urself a..."

Yeech, novelty sample.

4. "Bridging the gap"

Horrifically worthy.

3. "Thugz mansion (NY)"

Unneccessary. The low point of 'God's son'

2. "It aint hard to tell" (2004 remix)

Destroys the song.

1. "Oochie wallie"

One of the most irritating records ever made. And his bodyguard's verse IS better than his.

1. crazy beat
2. mr. robinson's quango
3. miss america
4. gene by gene
5. she's so high

in my VU top five for sure. listen some more.

5 It Overtakes Me
4 Goin' On
3 Free Radicals
2 Vein of Stars
1 Mr Ambulance Driver

5. Spotty Grotty Anna (from VGPS expanded reissue) Spirited but pointless instrumental.
4. The Moneyground (from Lola vs the Powerman) The third track about how crap life is when you're in a famous band - and we're still on side 1!)
3. She Bought A Hat Like Princess Marina (from Arthur). Too whimsical.
2. Naggin' Woman (From Kinda Kinks) appalling vocals!
1. Bald-Headed Woman (From Kinks) this monstrosity just to give Shel Talmy extra royalties!

5. Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want.
4. I Won't Share You.
3. Asleep
2. Golden Lights
1. Meat Is Murder.

It's about the only good thing on the album! And Ralf Hutter agrees with me on that!!

As for that Kinks list Dr C., I take it you haven't heard "Preservation Act 2" then?

5.The Gift
4.Carnaby Street
3.Trans-Global Express
2.Shopping
1.Pity Poor Alfie/Fever

5. TKO (Boxing Day)
4. Get Yourself Another Fool
3. Pills and Soap
2. The Deportees Club
1. Turning The Town Red

Just two albums represented here.

1. Neuschnee 78
2. Super 16
3. Hallo Excentrico
4. Cassetto
5. Super 78

... tho I quite like "Cassetto" actually

dishonorable mention: The Rainbow Children, nearly all of it (hi, Dan!)