Jesus Christ

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What would Jesus listen to?
What instrument would he play?
Would Jesus run the DC Talk e-mail list, or would he be spacing out to Hawkwind?

(posted this in ILE on accident, too)

― Zachary Scott (Zach S), Thursday, 26 October 2006 01:15 (nineteen years ago)

Jesus was way cool
Everybody liked Jesus
Everybody wanted to hang out with him
Anything he wanted to do, he did
He turned water into wine
And if he wanted to
He could have turned wheat into marijuana
Or sugar into cocaine
Or vitamin pills into amphetamines

He walked on the water
And swam on the land
He would tell these stories
And people would listen
He was really cool

If you were blind or lame
You just went to Jesus
And he would put his hands on you
And you would be healed
That's so cool

He could've played guitar better than Hendrix
He could've told the future
He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world
He could've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky
He could've danced better than Barishnikov
Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of
Jesus was way cool

He told people to eat his body and drink his blood
That's so cool
Jesus was so cool
But then some people got jealous of how cool he was
So they killed him
But then he rose from the dead
He rose from the dead, danced around
Then went up to heaven
I mean, that's so cool
Jesus was way cool

No wonder there are so many Christians

― PappaWheelie, don't fuck this up (PappaWheelie 2), Thursday, 26 October 2006 01:33 (nineteen years ago)

I want the people to know that he saved my soul
But I still like to listen to the radio.
They say rock 'n' roll is wrong, we'll give you one more chance.
I say I feel so good I gotta get up and dance.

I know what's right, I know what's wrong, I don't confuse it.
All I'm really trying to say
Is why should the devil have all the good music?
I feel good every day
'Cause Jesus is the rock and he rolled my blues away.

They say to cut my hair, they're driving me insane,
I grew it out long to make room for my brain.
But sometimes people don't understand,
What's a good boy doing in a rock 'n' roll band?

There's nothing wrong with playing blues licks,
But if you got a reason tell me to my face
Why should the devil have all the good music.
There's nothing wrong with what I play
'Cause Jesus is the rock and he rolled my blues away.

I ain't knocking the hymns,
Just give me a song that has a beat.
I ain't knocking the hymns,
Just give me a song that moves my feet.
I don't like none of those funeral marches
I ain't dead yet!

Jesus told the truth, Jesus showed the way
There's one more thing I'd like to say.
They nailed him to the cross, they laid him in the ground,
But they shoulda known you can't keep a good man down.

I feel good every day, I don't wanna lose it.
All I wanna, all I wanna know
Is why should the devil have all the good music.
I've been filled, I feel okay,
Jesus is the rock and he rolled my blues
Jesus is the rock and he rolled my blues
Jesus is the rock and he rolled my blues away.

― jackl (jackl), Thursday, 26 October 2006 01:41 (nineteen years ago)

The question is, what WOULDN'T Jesus listen to?!

― the Adversary (but, still, a friend of yours) (Uri Frendimein), Thursday, 26 October 2006 01:53 (nineteen years ago)

hmmm...anal cunt?

― Zachary Scott (Zach S), Thursday, 26 October 2006 01:56 (nineteen years ago)

the smiths.

― AaronK (AaronK), Thursday, 26 October 2006 01:56 (nineteen years ago)

Then again...he'd probably want to be friends with anal cunt so he could save them. And to understand them better, he'd probably want to listen to their music. He'd listen to Anal Cunt, capitalized now, with a stern look, a stiff pair of lips.

― Zachary Scott (Zach S), Thursday, 26 October 2006 01:57 (nineteen years ago)

I thought this thread would be about that Gay Dad song.

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Thursday, 26 October 2006 07:29 (nineteen years ago)

i cannot think of a more quintessentially Christian musical genre than metal.

― Marco Damiani (Marco D.), Thursday, 26 October 2006 09:13 (nineteen years ago)

Roots natty roots natty congo. He'd be a Prince Far I fan for sure.

― David V (grammy), Thursday, 26 October 2006 09:34 (nineteen years ago)

Also a Prince fan

― fauxhemian (fauxhemian), Thursday, 26 October 2006 09:53 (nineteen years ago)

He would like Michael Buble, Kate E Mellower and Daniel Pewter.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 26 October 2006 09:59 (nineteen years ago)

jesus sat by the road and he cried

― Charlie Howard (the sphinx), Thursday, 26 October 2006 12:22 (nineteen years ago)

Mostly psy-trance, some ELO on the quiet.

― braveclub (braveclub), Thursday, 26 October 2006 12:52 (nineteen years ago)

Jesus would be in a Jonathan Richman cover band.

― davelus (davelus), Saturday, 28 October 2006 15:12 (nineteen years ago)

Now I'm wondering which musician most resembles Jesus, either physically or by personality.

― Zachary Scott (Zach S), Saturday, 28 October 2006 15:36 (nineteen years ago)

As a well-meaning, but somewhat pompous, radical, Jesus would have been a huge fan of U2, Sting and Peter Gabriel.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Saturday, 28 October 2006 18:25 (nineteen years ago)

Plus he´d probably spend a lot of time listening to Black Metal, trying to figure out why these people are so busy worshipping Satan.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Saturday, 28 October 2006 18:26 (nineteen years ago)

Radicals listen to U2 and Sting?

― Zachary Scott (Zach S), Saturday, 28 October 2006 20:57 (nineteen years ago)

which musician most resembles Jesus

Chad Kroeger was once likened to a Jesus that had been beaten with an ugly stick. Personality-wise? Morrissey springs to mind.

― LC (Damian), Saturday, 28 October 2006 21:05 (nineteen years ago)

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