Defend the Indefensible: Akon

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Ok, so a year ago, I found him slightly annoying, but I didn't hear him that often. Now, it's Akon ad nauseum on the local pop stations (and across the country, too, according to the charts).

I'm pretty sure he's the shittiest thing to happen to pop music in years. Granted, I haven't listened to many album tracks, but his singles alone merit that 'honor.' The only thing he's done that I've remotely liked is "The Sweet Escape," but that song's starting to grate on me, too. "Smack That" is probably the worst single of the past couple years, and everything else is boring to the point of being terrible. And now, I have to deal with that damn Bone Thugs n' Harmony song, which is starting to overtake "Runaway Love" for the suckiest sappy song of the year. Despite all this, he gets sooo much airplay. WHY?!

Come on ILX, help me appreciate this hit-making machine!

― Tape Store, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 04:15 (nineteen years ago)

'lonely' is really good & imagine it will get a lot of support here just based on subject matter alone (lol including mine)

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 04:18 (nineteen years ago)

Has he been charged for molesting that 14 year old girl on stage yet?

― The Macallan 18 Year, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 04:19 (nineteen years ago)

err I mean BLAH BLAH BLAH ILM HARMLESS BANTER

― The Macallan 18 Year, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 04:20 (nineteen years ago)

He has my vote for hardest-to-explain pop success.

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 04:22 (nineteen years ago)

Ok, I just listened to "Lonely" again, and it's way better than anything he's done in the past year. I still can't stand him, though.

― Tape Store, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 04:28 (nineteen years ago)

somebody give it up for 'lonely' tho (this is another song i got made fun of for liking)(cuz its 'rap')

ps soul survivor

other than that yes totally dud afaik

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 04:32 (nineteen years ago)

oh whoops good on tape store

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 04:33 (nineteen years ago)

"Locked Up", "Ghetto", & "I Wanna Love U" are all good! I'm warming up to "Don't Matter", too. He can be very annoying sometimes, but people (including myself) are hard on him.

― The Reverend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 04:57 (nineteen years ago)

I still remember the first time I heard "I Wanna Love U" - the uncensored version, blaring at top volume from a hallmate's room. It's a nauseating song, but I don't hear it too often; it juts pops up in unexpected places and makes me go "hahaha wtf" and smile, so I can't really hate on it.

― Curt1s Stephens, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:10 (nineteen years ago)

I actually like the edited version significantly more. The first time I heard the dirty version was kind of "woah, WTF?" moment.

― The Reverend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:20 (nineteen years ago)

...kind of a...

― The Reverend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:20 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, I had a major WTF moment hearing the dirty version for the first time - I was walking on Newark Ave. in Jersey City on a kind of deserted stretch under the Turnpike and there was an SUV blasting it and just as I noticed what it was I passed this goofy old-fashioned looking beat cop on foot.

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:26 (nineteen years ago)

Easy enough to sit through on "We Takin Over" when you've got the TI and Weezy verses to look forward to. Totally shit otherwise.

― bear, bear, bear, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:29 (nineteen years ago)

what's to defend? he's a good, interesting singer with a good, interesting voice, and "locked up," "lonely" and "don't matter" are great singles. ("smack that" is weird, yeah.)

― tipsy mothra, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:34 (nineteen years ago)

ok someone has to like soul survivor

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:35 (nineteen years ago)

On second thought, he pretty much ruins "We Takin Over" too. Fuck this guy.

― bear, bear, bear, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:37 (nineteen years ago)

akon is awesome. i don't love any of his singles but i like all of them very much, they make me feel happy when i hear them in shops/on the bus/out of windows, which i do all the time. the kidz love him, and he's approx 9000 times better than any of the crap ilm's been jizzing over this year (battles, lcd soundsystem, the field, panda bear, patrick wolf)

will def rep for the chipmunk voices on 'lonely', 'locked up' is v moving, 'don't matter' is just lovely and smooth and summery. i like 'smack that' too. and he's triumphant on 'we takin over'.

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:38 (nineteen years ago)

Whenever I hear "Locked Up" I imagine a Weird Al type parody about constipation called "Blocked Up"

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:44 (nineteen years ago)

So I guess that counts for something

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:44 (nineteen years ago)

I like "Soul Survivor", but Akon isn't really the best thing about it.

― The Reverend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:45 (nineteen years ago)

Both versions of "I Wanna [Something] U" recreate the same uncomfortable skeezed-out feeling of being in a really skanky strip club, but I'm in love with the logic of it on a meta level. In public, on the radio, he wants to love you; take him home, and it's a whole different song.

"Don't Matter" is pretty straightforwardly likeable, though, in about the way lots of Wyclef singles were likeable -- he pulls out some Africanisms that really work for him there.

A lot of critics seem to have decided on this hook/angle where he signifies the rap-style hardassification of r&b, but that seems like a bit of a stretch, given that he's just one guy, and it seems like r&b's female audience -- including the black female audience, and where black American women are at these days -- will probably keep that from being some huge thing.

― nabisco, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 06:31 (nineteen years ago)

I wish "Don't Matter" sounded like the more upbeat version at the end of the video. Seriously, that's way better.

― The Reverend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 06:35 (nineteen years ago)

I like "Lonely" and "Bellydancer." The new singles haven't done much for me - I would like "Don't Matter" if the chorus wasn't such a blatant "Ignition - Remix" lift.

― da croupier, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:35 (nineteen years ago)

my problem with akon is that his voice is like having a succession of toothpicks inserted into my urethra until my dick bursts from the inside

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:37 (nineteen years ago)

but i like lonely ok

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:38 (nineteen years ago)

Even months of kids playing "Smack That" couldn't kill my love for it. "Lonely" is on a whole different level of brilliantness, tho.

― Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:39 (nineteen years ago)

can't stand the singing on 'Lonely' at all. just fuck off, loser.

his turn on 'The Sweet Escape' almost makes up for it tho.

― blueski, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:39 (nineteen years ago)

(Kids playing "Smack That" on shitty tinny mobile phones, I meant to say.)

― Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:40 (nineteen years ago)

I said the same basic thing in another thread a few months ago, but his voice conveys so much sadness all the time that I think he sounds really good on songs that match that emotion, like "Locked Up" and "Soul Survivor," but most of his hits in the past year have been these cheerful pop tunes and seductive club songs that he sounds really odd singing.

― Alex in Baltimore, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:41 (nineteen years ago)

what sort of space aliens are you people that you hear sadness when that dalek opens his mouth

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:42 (nineteen years ago)

it's like c3po decided to be a singer or something

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:42 (nineteen years ago)

that's not the droid i'm looking for, but he was the first that came to mind

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:42 (nineteen years ago)

oh i'm gonna get burned for this but his voice reminds me of barrington levy. with a headcold maybe.

and his voice is always autotuned to hell and back; it's only half a voice anymore, and more like a synth patch that's suddenly got really popular and is on every song (XPOST jess heh)

― gff, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:44 (nineteen years ago)

i think i'm just irritated that the only time i heard "ghetto story" on the radio last year was the ass-y akon remix

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:45 (nineteen years ago)

he doesn't sound robotic, he just sounds very nasal, as if he's trying very hard to sound emotional, but is sad that his voice can't do it

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:45 (nineteen years ago)

the alicia keys rmx of 'ghetto story' was awesome.

i like 'don't matter' loads better than 'ignition'.

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:45 (nineteen years ago)

this guy is not on my database, stevem and lex

― That one guy that quit, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:46 (nineteen years ago)

I hear the sadness in his tone and not a droid-like feel.

― curmudgeon, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:47 (nineteen years ago)

i think geoff better be careful barrington levy doesn't do him for defamation of character

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:48 (nineteen years ago)

this guy is not on my database, stevem and lex

don't forget 600, he is our leader.

― blueski, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:49 (nineteen years ago)

if only he DID sound like a sad robot.

― blueski, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:49 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.threadless.com/product/125x136/68-minizoom.jpg

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:51 (nineteen years ago)

That nasal tone is part of what lets him work the Africanisms, though.

― nabisco, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 15:02 (nineteen years ago)

(Which is usually what, on the singles I can take, makes him interesting.)

― nabisco, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 15:03 (nineteen years ago)

I've managed to avoid him altogether I think, apart from the Sweet Escape, but everyone says he's rubbish so I've not been the slightest bit interested in seeking anything out.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 15:05 (nineteen years ago)

he doesnt deserve a 'defend the indefensible' bcuz he's had his fair share of good songs and the hyperbole about 'worst thing to happen to pop music!' at the beginning of this thread is one of the most groan-worthy music debate rhetorical tricks but i am sick of him now and i think Al is probably most otm in this thread. He did a song for Styles P a while back that was pretty great too.

also deeznuts otm re: soul survivor

― deej, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 15:09 (nineteen years ago)

matt i have consistently told you he is great, surely you know by now to listen to me not this "everyone" you speak of

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 15:09 (nineteen years ago)

Yes but you have told me he's great in a way that actually says 'he's crap', like all those Patrick Wolf fans.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 15:11 (nineteen years ago)

He did a song for Styles P a while back that was pretty great too.

oh yeah, I almost forgot about "Can You Believe It"! that might be my favorite thing he's done and it's a shame that label bullshit kept it from being much of a hit.

― Alex in Baltimore, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 15:13 (nineteen years ago)

Skipping 74 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

BAN KANYE

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 15:08 (eighteen years ago)

Woah. He actually said that? Where?

― The Reverend, Monday, 18 June 2007 15:13 (eighteen years ago)

apparently akon does not watch law and order!

― strongohulkington, Monday, 18 June 2007 15:19 (eighteen years ago)

"It's no different from The Blair Witch Project. Everybody thought that was real. That campaign and marketing was incredible. After that, they're getting Oscars. Unless you go to Sierra Leone and see what's going down, don't believe everything you're reading or see on TV. Trust me."

― Tape Store, Monday, 18 June 2007 16:17 (eighteen years ago)

Trust him

― Tape Store, Monday, 18 June 2007 16:17 (eighteen years ago)

looooooooool

Akon is like the complete inverse of R Kelly for me; the more ludicrous his actions, the more entertained I am.

^^^^^ seconded

― Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 16:42 (eighteen years ago)

me : Akon :: lex : Paris

(kind of)

― Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 16:44 (eighteen years ago)

Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Thiam has spoken.

THAT IS AN AWESOME NAME

― HI DERE, Monday, 18 June 2007 16:48 (eighteen years ago)

Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Dallas Multipass

― Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 16:55 (eighteen years ago)

one month passes...

i ADORE the new mama africa single!

― titchyschneiderMk2, Monday, 30 July 2007 20:33 (eighteen years ago)

I recently realized that Akon isn't the best part of "Sweet Escape." It's Gwen circa "So baby, times getting a little crazy, i've been getting a little lazy, etc."

― Tape Store, Monday, 30 July 2007 20:37 (eighteen years ago)

Despite all the hate out there, I think the best bit is the talky bit.

― I know, right?, Monday, 30 July 2007 20:44 (eighteen years ago)

tape store otm.

this also seemed pretty indicative of our times: the new akon single apologizing for throwing a kid off of a stage, that the whole world saw because of youtube, debuts at #7 on the billboard hot 100 based almost exclusively on downloads.

― Jordan Sargent, Monday, 30 July 2007 20:46 (eighteen years ago)

Listening to Akon is akin to sonic coprophagia. RAISE YOUR DAMN STANDARD!

― Alex in NYC, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 00:52 (eighteen years ago)

...s!

― Alex in NYC, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 00:53 (eighteen years ago)

this mostly seems indicative of Akon throwing kids offstage (OF WHICH I APPROVE)

― Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 01:05 (eighteen years ago)

Will the new Alex in NYC era consist of dude running around ILM grousing y/n

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 01:09 (eighteen years ago)

Was the old Alex in NYC era any different y/n

― Alex in Baltimore, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 01:18 (eighteen years ago)

lolololol

I really have to cosign Curtis here.

― HI DERE, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 01:48 (eighteen years ago)

i ADORE the new mama africa single!

Me too. It's entirely ripped off, but I like it much more than the song he ripped.

― The Reverend, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 02:47 (eighteen years ago)

i need to hear the song he ripped off.

i love the song with gwen too. even akons whoo hooo bits. which dont really need to be there. or at least dont need to be done by akon, but still, theyre good.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 10:41 (eighteen years ago)

His new single "Sorry" also sounds a rip off. Can't quite place the song he ripped off though. Could be nursery rhyme, who knows.

― Christyles, Tuesday, 7 August 2007 11:20 (eighteen years ago)

i need to hear the song he ripped off.

Gentleman - Dem Gone

― The Reverend, Wednesday, 8 August 2007 00:51 (eighteen years ago)

one year passes...

konvicted debuted at #2 in the US - anyone know what was #1 that week?

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 23 June 2009 07:31 (sixteen years ago)

also what part of "don't matter" samples "ignition (remix)"? is it that whistling synth thing? or is wikipedia fuckin around

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 23 June 2009 07:34 (sixteen years ago)

i only have one post itt but akon = forever summertime jamz imo

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 23 June 2009 07:38 (sixteen years ago)

i even fuck with "im so paid" and "right now (na na na)"

sorry for anyone who opened this thread expecting to read about akon stabbing babies on stage or something

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 23 June 2009 07:39 (sixteen years ago)

all the people upthread who were talking about how they like how akon's voice conveys sadness should love "right now (na na na)"

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 23 June 2009 07:44 (sixteen years ago)

you were my homie lover friend btw

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 23 June 2009 07:45 (sixteen years ago)

I f/w right na na na, good jam

― body merkin (The Reverend), Tuesday, 23 June 2009 07:55 (sixteen years ago)

that album is pretty good. Rich, dude that does that fourfour blog, had a good post about it when it dropped

― autogucci cru (deej), Tuesday, 23 June 2009 10:35 (sixteen years ago)

i thought the alb was trash

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 24 June 2009 01:43 (sixteen years ago)

anyway, anyone know the answer to my question? shipley?

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 24 June 2009 01:43 (sixteen years ago)

How is he indefensible when he's so awesome?

I played that Akon boat game for about thirty minutes until I beat it and it didn't bother me at all having to listen to the same three songs over and over again since they were so good. I have a screen capture of when I apparently got paid in my helicopter somewhere around here.

― bamcquern, Wednesday, 24 June 2009 01:59 (sixteen years ago)

The Game kept Akon from #1

― ~~~~~~~swinton~~~~~~~ (some dude), Wednesday, 24 June 2009 02:31 (sixteen years ago)

hmm interesting

thx btw

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 24 June 2009 02:36 (sixteen years ago)

― ~~~~~~~swinton~~~~~~~ (some dude), Wednesday, 24 June 2009 02:42 (sixteen years ago)

i thought the alb was trash

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, June 23, 2009 8:43 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

it falls off towards the end but mostly good

― zzz (deej), Wednesday, 24 June 2009 08:23 (sixteen years ago)

I couldn't even make it through once

― bitches can't stand me I got pockets on my pannies (The Reverend), Wednesday, 24 June 2009 08:28 (sixteen years ago)

this is otm:

http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/12/fourfours-rb-giftbuying-guide.html

What is it? Well, when it’s good, it’s a bold, straight-up dance album from one of pop's few lasting sure-bets.
Any good? The first six tracks are as good as any R&B-dance released this year. When Akon is at his most lyrically vague and anthem-aspiring (“Right Now (Na Na Na),” “Beautiful”), he’s basically creating 2008’s answer to freestyle: weird voice, melodrama and electro beats and all. The neon-house of “Keep You Much Longer” manages to out-epic Chris Brown’s “Forever” and “We Don’t Care” is a big fuck-you to those who don’t want him fucking on stage. He’s so on-point that even his money track is lovable (“I’m So Paid”). Even in this economy! Freedom kind of tapers off as it goes, reexamining the mid-tempo bangers that Akon has been annoying us with for years now. But nothing can diminish the power of the album’s first half. And yeah, I can’t believe I’m so convicted about Akon material, but there you go. The world changes in weird ways during the holidays.
Could you buy it for mom? Well, it’s good aerobicizing accompaniment. I can tell you that much.

― zzz (deej), Wednesday, 24 June 2009 08:34 (sixteen years ago)

seven months pass...

And he's back

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 17 February 2010 17:53 (sixteen years ago)

classic Alex in NYC post itt

― otto günne (The Reverend), Wednesday, 17 February 2010 18:47 (sixteen years ago)

Uplifting headline, spiritcrushing article.

― Ismael Klata, Wednesday, 17 February 2010 18:53 (sixteen years ago)

nine months pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnAbKuGss4Y

this was so classic .... still fuckin with it!!!

― lotta diamonds ... but prolly more display names (deej), Sunday, 12 December 2010 04:02 (fifteen years ago)

at least until wayne's verse. 'you live in a doll house' oooh zing

― lotta diamonds ... but prolly more display names (deej), Sunday, 12 December 2010 04:10 (fifteen years ago)

that song is gr8

― plax (ico), Sunday, 12 December 2010 04:10 (fifteen years ago)

weird how the production picks out that line too

― plax (ico), Sunday, 12 December 2010 04:11 (fifteen years ago)

btw i cant see the video so i knew u meant so paid bc of that

― plax (ico), Sunday, 12 December 2010 04:11 (fifteen years ago)

"i'm so paid" & "right now (na na na)" are as good as akon's best shit

― ad hom alone (J0rdan S.), Sunday, 12 December 2010 04:16 (fifteen years ago)

akon = forever summertime jamz imo

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, June 23, 2009 2:38 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark

still totally believe this

― ad hom alone (J0rdan S.), Sunday, 12 December 2010 04:17 (fifteen years ago)

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