"Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood -- ENOUGH ALREADY!

your problem is that you have gone through the time tunnel and are living in May 2007, just find the vortex again and your problem will be solved

(actually no the deal is, and this is a little weird: they're rereleasing the song this month as part of some desperate maybe-we-can-sell-records-this-way effort - the song, plus a b-side or two, and a ringtone of the song delivered directly to your sell. They have even come up with a name for this new product that combines the selling of music on a physical format & the transmission of music as data to your phone. You have to wait for the name of the product because it is just too awesome.)

It makes me ashamed to be a member of the human race.

See it's like a single but it has a ringtone so it's a

I can't say it

It's then a ringle?

(I do like this song though, think it's a clever little top 40 jam with some nice changes & and good placement of detail ("that bathroom Polo") but I have some typical-of-me issues with the chorus ("slashed a hole in all four tires?" no, you didn't; you either slashed all four tires, or you punched a hole in each one of the them, but you didn't "slash a hole" in anything, friend) - the verses though, they're good, and the bridge isn't bad either)

xpost YES ALEX IT IS A RINGLE A RINGLE OH MY SWEET LOVING JESUS PEOPLE LET US WELCOME THE AGE OF THE RINGLE

wax cylinder
78
45
LP
8-track
cassette
DAT
CD
HDCD
Ringle

I just bought a minidisc player. Don't forget that.

you better throw that shit away! Ringles are what's next!!

I've actually liked the song the more I hear it, for the reasons John mentioned. I would advise listening to it as if it were a really great late seventies Linda Ronstadt song but Alex probably wishes slow death for her too.

TS: Miranda Lambert's "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" vs "Before He Cheats."

if Pringles fails to to do a cross-promotion with this I'm going on a hunger strike

I don't think I've heard this song- the radio was stolen out of my car a few months ago. I looked up the lyrics to this song, and what's excellent is how it documents the primacy of the truck in a Southern Man's consciousness. We had a tree fall down in our yard, and our neighbor volunteered to cut it up and put it on his woodpile. When it came time to haul it away, did he put in the bed of his gigantic Ford pickup? No! Can't scratch the baby! He hitched a beat-to-shit trailer to the pickup, and put the wood in there.

Also the line "Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo..." would be terrifying if Rick James was singing this.

your problem is that you have gone through the time tunnel and are living in May 2007 2006.

The interview with Carrie Underwood in this week's EW is good. She's very, very determined to be Country, not Pop. And I love that she's started co-writing a few songs now - she says it had never really occurred to her to write a song, before she found herself in this position.

This is one of my top five singles of the year. (nb: I don't follow country, so I'm experiencing it as an '07 single, rather than as an '06 single or an '05 album track.) My favorite line is "Right now he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey" as if fruity little drinks are a giant affront to REAL WOMANhood and the strict territory of bleach-blond bimbos.

Big xp to J0hn: You pedant, there's nothing that says a hole is perfectly round.

Smaller xp to bendy: The truck thing, yes!

But both of you hit on what's important. This song is all about details, details, details. I should also mention I have a fetish for songs that tie the chorus to the verse like this, even if the way it's here is a little bit clunky.

i hate this song too. the answer is to have some high-db kelly clarkson at the ready for response.

Great pop single, one I went from hating to loving over a bunch of listens (not something that happens very often the older I get). Just sounded SO pedestrian at first until one day I actually listened, and--wow.

My only other qualm is that the bridge is just kind of...there.

nonsense rev! lyrically yeah it's not much of a bridge but key-changewise it's really a great settling-in. Song is clever in a lot of ways. I anticipate a long and fruitful life for it as a RINGLE

I dunno, it feels underwhelming to me after the outstanding verses and chorus, and it sounds like she's straining to hit notes that should be right comfortably within her range.

I think "ringle" is actually just

i mean i can't even

what the

Very good pop single (and hence destined to be overplayed). The only thing keeping it from greatness is the chorus - repeating the same revenge tactics each time rather than embellishing is a missed opportunity.

J0hn D OTM re: bathroom Polo.

when O when will I be able to buy a Bathory ringle

'Greasy? Not fun. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh.' is haunting me now. Thankfully I already ate some Pop Tarts, another poppable food. I guess I should mention the song, "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood, so I'll be on topic.

and a ringtone of the song delivered directly to your sell.
-- J0hn D., Saturday, October 20, 2007 8:13 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

intentional?

Don't worry, her new single is rising up the charts and the new album comes out next week and she will dominate the charts with something else that you decide to hate.

I like it and am looking forward to the Haikunym-predicted domination.

I haven't heard her new single. I should give it an ear. A weird break from the ur-Timbaland stuff I've been listening to all morning, but whatever.

Ugh, platitudes. That did nothing for me.

it sounds like she's straining to hit notes that should be right comfortably within her range

THIS IS HOW SHE ALWAYS SOUNDS AND WHY SHE'S HELLACIOUSLY ANNOYING TO LISTEN TO.

This is a good song that I wish someone else sang. Also I hate the repetitive chorus because I feel like he's actually caught on by the third time she's carved her name into his seats as to what's going on; it's like the guys I went to high school with who tried to run a truck over the football team, drove off, and then drove back into the waiting arms of the police. (Yes I know she's not doing it multiple times in the context of the song but the repetition makes it feel that way to me.)

it's like the guys I went to high school with who tried to run a truck over the football team, drove off, and then drove back into the waiting arms of the police

Dan, please, set this to rhyme.

Was his name Mickey?

Actually, I have it on somewhat fourth-hand authority that well-meaning label plans for Ringles may be DERAILED! Which would be horrible, given ringles' obvious potential for ringleness. But I can say no more.

("Before He Cheats" made my top five last year, by the way. It's great.)

Underwood one's on Amazon, though (with a non-non-LP B-side! wtf?)

http://www.amazon.com/Before-Cheats-Ringle-Carrie-Underwood/dp/B000W4HLRO

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_m/102-3364748-8926550?initialSearch=1&url=search-alias%3Dpopular&field-keywords=ringle&x=0&y=0

I do need to get a ringle before the vanish, a perfect artifact of the age. Like the exercise water bottle I found in 1992 with a troll printed on it, above the word "NOT!".

They're (possibly not) ringlin' baby.

Wha-wha-wha-wait...Someone at a record company thought bringing back cd singles is a good idea...in 2007? Cd singles with attached ringtones that cost more than it would to d/l the songs and ringtones separately? BRILLIANT! That's incredible, really.

Plus, I think the ringtone doesn't work 'til you pop it in the computer and verify it with the mothership. It's a profound thing.

Just went downstairs to pick up my laundry and it was playing AGAIN. SOMEONE PLEASE BLOW UP THE EARTH AT ONCE!

Where is this in its journey for the Hot 100 longevity record?

The funny thing is that this is one of the more tolerable songs on Modern Pop Country radio.

If I have to listen to Lay Me Down at work one more time I'm going to go find that man and give him his deathwish.

Where is this in its journey for the Hot 100 longevity record?

Tied for third with 62 weeks. Only three more to go until she ties Jewel and seven more until she catches up to LeeAnn Rimes.

I think I've heard this song out and about maybe once or twice -- otherwise, it's very this time last year for me.

(i.e., when I first heard it and reviewed it)

I like it, btw:

As someone who disdains the predictable trad-rock trappings that generally characterize the sound of contemporary country, I'm constantly surprised at how the genre routinely wins me over. Most of the time, it comes down to two elements that country has in abundance: strong, charismatic performers and clever, richly detailed lyrics. On "Before He Cheats," Underwood snarls about a "white-trash version of Shania karaoke" and "three-dollar bathroom Polo" in a big, pliant voice that seethes with contempt at the right moments. If the sonic palette is rather conventional, that's fine: it makes the song's real charms all the more apparent.

er i guess the "right now" is in just about every line, but still.

Also, mad lols at dan thinking Alex is scrooge mcduck since he might have $20 to get someone else to do his laundry.

more like Alex in Duckburg, amirite

IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEBODY GETS BUTTHURT!!!

(Don't worry, I'm not.)

I now have the image of Alex in NYC swimming through his vault and ranting about Destiny's Child.

it was great reading that post and trying to guess what type of imagery and how many bolded capital letters would be contained in the alex in nyc retort.

"(A) Fuck yourself, you fatuous slab of dung," was a pretty fantastic response.

"slab of dung"

http://www.uoregon.edu/~gregr/2_12.jpg

http://mtglair.de/img/python/French_Taunter.jpg

Wait, we all prefer "Never Again," right?

Compare/Contrast Sims Videos: Never Again, Before He Cheats

I hold them about equally.

Not scrooge mcduck, just way out of whack for wishing ill on the entire planet for the five seconds he has to endure a pop song.

this is alex in nyc we're talking about.

ugh it's playing at my work 'right now'

the good things about this song, like the concrete imagery and a decent bridge, are rendered evil because they exist in the context of just another inane, pandering slab of nu country awfulness apparently directed at an audience so stupid you wonder how they manage to bathe themselves.

This pecking-party of a thread gets funnier with each reply

dr. phil!

can you email me by clicking on my username? i have a question for you.

i only just heard this song a few minutes ago, i watched the video.

man. i don't know. c. underwood doesn't seem like she can really carry this kind of thing off very well. whereas like a gretchen wilson seemed like the type of chick that would real-deal slash yr fuckin' tires in the parking lot of a sports bar....underwood just seems like her manager said "oh let's go "edgy""....kelly clarkson did the wounded/angry thing on since u been gone pretty well, but yeah this seems like playing dress up.

(not that would it would matter if the song was really great, but it's not)

M@tt on point

her actions in the video wouldn't make me think before i was unfaithful. i would call a lawyer. i don't like this song.

: (

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c8/Nellygood.jpg

what a song

your problem is that you have gone through the time tunnel and are living in May 2007, just find the vortex again and your problem will be solved

(actually no the deal is, and this is a little weird: they're rereleasing the song this month as part of some desperate maybe-we-can-sell-records-this-way effort - the song, plus a b-side or two, and a ringtone of the song delivered directly to your sell. They have even come up with a name for this new product that combines the selling of music on a physical format & the transmission of music as data to your phone. You have to wait for the name of the product because it is just too awesome.)

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:13 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

See it's like a single but it has a ringtone so it's a

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:16 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

I can't say it

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:16 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

It's then a ringle?

-- Alex in NYC, Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:17 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

(I do like this song though, think it's a clever little top 40 jam with some nice changes & and good placement of detail ("that bathroom Polo") but I have some typical-of-me issues with the chorus ("slashed a hole in all four tires?" no, you didn't; you either slashed all four tires, or you punched a hole in each one of the them, but you didn't "slash a hole" in anything, friend) - the verses though, they're good, and the bridge isn't bad either)

xpost YES ALEX IT IS A RINGLE A RINGLE OH MY SWEET LOVING JESUS PEOPLE LET US WELCOME THE AGE OF THE RINGLE

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:19 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

wax cylinder
78
45
LP
8-track
cassette
DAT
CD
HDCD
Ringle

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:20 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

I just bought a minidisc player. Don't forget that.

-- bendy, Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:30 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

you better throw that shit away! Ringles are what's next!!

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:33 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

if Pringles fails to to do a cross-promotion with this I'm going on a hunger strike

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:35 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

never forget

^^Alex & John were solid gold kinking off the thread.

I was always disappointed that there wasn't "My Ex Was A Crazy Bitch" answer song to this one. Country Music failed us.

For the town in the United States, see Ringle, Wisconsin.

this thread always delivers

lol 'ringtones'

Just heard this song for the first time, DJP OTM

I love this song now except for the "can't shoot whiskey" line, performative drinking is v. boring and rockist but I dig this tune and the performance

except for "slashed a hole in all four tires"' which will always grate

I keep thinking "that's a huge hole"

DJP i am curious about the story upthread about the football team murder attempt

It's really jjj's story, he was on the team at the time and witnessed the whole sad event

Before the Pleats

Ringle

Singtone

I've never heard a Hoobastank song. I don't listen to the radio or watch the television so where would I have heard it?

I love the argument that slashing his truck's tires is a gross overreaction and the wrong way to deal with this kind of a situation.

as long as you have bail money

This is the definitive rendition of the song in my view

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Pr_E8Tz7RE

went full on 80s pop for her new single, really lives up to the title "denim & rhinestones"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYJVEYbwR4o

during the inauguration today, they introduced carrie underwood to sing "america the beautiful" with the marine choir. the camera zoomed in on her as she waited for the song to begin. but then there was a technical delay and they all stood there for about 3, 4 minutes. long enough to where they all waited for a really long time, then someone began to look at another, then more time passed, then a guy finally said something to another person. more time passed. they started showing trump and it kind of felt like when you're afraid hitler is getting angry. i thought about "the sound guy" who would be crucified. more time passed and then it kind of became an open joke and everyone was smiling and laughing at the delay. except for trump. then carrie underwood said "sing if you know the words", and she sang acapella with the sounds of the inauguration attendees joining. it became a kind of showcase of who both knew the words and/or wanted to be seen singing "america the beautiful". what a moment

Fuck her.

I've never heard a Hoobastank song. I don't listen to the radio or watch the television so where would I have heard it?

― Halfway there but for you

also gotta revive this from a few years ago - halfway you haven't lived until you've heard the stank

That's my burden for replying to a post from 2007

did you...i mean...what happened when you did encounter the stank? there's no going back

2007 was the 1990s of the 21st century so far