The Most Mediocre Supergroup Imaginable: 90's Manufactured Pop

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No antsiness about what constitutes manufactured pop, plizz... just, y'know, boybands and shizzeh, eh? Between 3 and 8 members (S Club Juniors be done stretched the parameters), either gender considered - for starters:

Jason Orange
Tina out of S Club 7
The one that wasn't Dane or Bobak or Wayne out of Another Level
Lee from Steps
Siobhan out of B*Witched

Mr Swygart, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd like to see one of the no-marks from Boyzone in there. Boyzone are the worst manufactured pop, 'cos there isn't even an element of pop fizz or fun or silliness. Shane from Boyzone, perhaps?

weasel diesel (K1l14n), Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

the pop version of sleeperblokes? tina is lovely

Alan T, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Surely this should include Terry from East 17 and at least one member of either World's Apart and Bad Boys Inc?

Matt DC, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I also submit for yr consideration E-Male, Northern Line, Vanilla, Girl Thing, 2 3hirds or whatever daft/133t spelling they used....

Tom, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i.e. maybe this should be the most mediocre Charity Record imaginable (but what song would they cover??)

Tom, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Nothing Ever Lasts Forever by Echo and the Bunnymen. That's pretty mediocre, and ripe for a ruthlessly slick boyband dissection.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, what the band also needs is an excessively mediocre gimmick, too. The aforementioned Northern Line's gimmick - that their debut single Love On The Northern Line was about falling in love with a random girl on the Tube, and, well, they're called Northern Line too, yeah? - is a decent starter. They also need a shite dance routine. 3T's 'backpack dance' is hard to beat here.

As for the cover, it has to be an old-ish song (70's or 80's) that people might like and as such they will bludgeon to within an inch of its life causing the music writers in the broadsheets to mither and a raging debate to ensue on Ceefax's The Vibe pages as to whether or not it's any good. 'Lovely Day' by Bill Withers, for instance. They could do it acapella on Richard and Judy.

They also need a crap excuse about how they're not manufactured, either involving them playing their own instruments or writing their own songs. As such, at least one member of A1 is required. I suggest Ben, cos he looks the twattiest and will probably do the best bitching about how false the whole thing was on one of those "I Love The 1990's Because They Provide Me With Easy Targets" things.

Mr Swygart, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes it's called WESTLIFE.

Ronan, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Thing is, though, you can't have all of Westlife, owing to some of them having distinctive features. Bryan, for instance, is fat. They do have a good run at mediocre gimmicks, though, considering they were originally going to be called Westside.

Mr Swygart, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Lance Bass MUST be in this group along with Mandy Moore.

Dan Perry, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Who was the drummer from Let Loose? He was supremely crap, in almost every way.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Gemini! Their gimmick was looking EXACTLY THE SAME haha but even BROS burnt out in the end and Gemini were ridiculed by The Sun even before they could limp to a 2nd single and top 40 chart placing. Sorry lads.

Sarah, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

uh oh ... i was about to start a thread about 'the last one standing' by girl thing, but i won't now

minna, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)


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