What If... Young Money invented rap?

In this thread, rewrite classic rap lyrics as if they were written by Young Money.

NOTE: Your new rap must still rhyme and still make logical sense. These are more challenging than the fake, non-sequitur YM raps in the grocery bag thread.

~~~

I came in the door, I said it before
I'll never let the mic magnetize me... IRON ORE

~~

La-di-da-di, we like to party
We don't cause trouble... BEAV AND WALLY

looooooool thread

this is kind of hard

this is difficult imo but I feel obligated to give it a shot

I can take a phrase that's rarely heard,
Flip it...BIRD

well done!

ha thanks it is really an A-level challenge!

this is way too geeky and not as good but what the hell, nobody else is coming in

When I was five years old I realized there was a road
At the end I will win...GOD MODE

He's the better of the best, best believe he's the baddest
Perfect timin' when I'm climbin'... LADDERS

Elvis was a hero to most
But he never meant shit...COMPOST

haaa

This is way, way too hard!

I am taking no prisoners taking no shorts
Breakin' with the metal... CANNIBAL CORPSE
------------------------------------------
Anyway a gas station we passed
We got gas... BUSTED ASS
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fuck the police comin straight from the underground
A young nigga...CHRIS BROWN

err let's try that again:

fuck the police comin straight from the underground
A young nigga got it bad...CHRIS BROWN

usher did "U Got It Bad"

I'm aware of this, I wasn't referring to the song. mostly the fact that Chris Brown has it bad cuz he beat the crap out of Rihanna and his last album was a critical and commercial disaster.

THESE RULES U HAVE IN PLACE R SO HARD 2 FOLLOW

Super Nintendo, Sega Gensis,
Man I was dead broke... UNHAPPY REMINISCE

Cos I don’t like to dream about gettin paid
So I dig into the books .... SPADE

lmfao

Inhale deep like the words of my breath,
I never sleep... SMOKIN' METH

this thread is hilaire!

Bass drum kickin to show my shit
Rap a hole in my dick...JOHN WAYNE BOBBITT

Too many emcees take that word mc lightly
They can't move a crowd...RIOT POLICE

She says "no, you're not", then she starts cryin
I says "I'm 19", she says "stop lyin'"
I said "I am, go ask my mother
And with your wrinkled pussy...SALLY STRUTHERS

Figured out I went the wrong route,
So I got with a sick-ass click...CORDLESS MOUSE

Ayo Bo knows this and bo knows that
But Bo don't know Jack...SPRAT

Some get shot locked down and turn nuns
Cowardly hearts...LIONS

Thirty years ago, Jesus could pull a ho quick
But now he 50 and his belly hangs... OLD ST. NICK

someone needs to take all the approved verses in this thread and drop them over a sick drone beat

I am the king of rock, there is none higher
Sucker MCs ... PACIFIER

Gold star

I would hesitate to call a lot of these "classic" line, but mostly good work all around so far

hahahaha that one from n/a

stop, collaborate and listen
ice is back...NEW KITCHEN

stretching the definition of "classic" a bit

i'm not internationally known
but i'm known to rock.....SLY STONE

if u having girl problems i feel bad 4 you son
i got 99 problems...THE GREAT ONE

http://behindblondiepark.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/wayne_gretzky.jpg

First things first man, you're fuckin' with the worst
I'll be stickin' pins... VOODOO CURSE

hahahaha

milk is chillin, giz is chillin
what more can I say? ... TOP BILLIN

in West Philadelphia, born and raised,
on the playground...POKEMON TRADE

Posessed with power, cowards will cower
Ducks we devour... PEKING SWEET AND SOUR

----------------------------------------

Everybody go hotel, motel, Holiday Inn
If your girl starts acting up... JENNIFER ANISTON

I give up

who gets weaker? the king or the teacher?
it's not about a salary...MIAMI HEAT (uh!)

it was all a dream
i used to read...GRAPHEMES

Soul Train done lost they soul
Just call it Train...BORING POP/ROCK 'N ROLL

lol m bison bring very big lols to me

yeah for some reason changing "i used to read word up magazine" to just "i used to read" is so funny

I was trying to flip the humpty dance in a similar style but the best I could come up with was

I get stupid, I shoot an arrow like cupid,
I use a word... LITTLE JEW KID

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3260/3134600450_f8078e6a85.jpg

i'm retired from this thread because they take way too long to think up! just gon read y'alls now

really can't get over "...GRAPHEMES"

What in the world is in that BAG, what you got in that BAG?
A couple a... GROCERIES

― Doctor Casino, Thursday, August 19, 2010 11:10 PM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol

two years ago a friend of mine
asked me to say.....NO MIME

shimmy shimmy ya shimmy yeah shimmy yay
gimme the mic.... KANYE

whoa i just googled the lyrics and apparently consensus is that it's "shimmy yam"???

wtf no way

lol at that one

enemies can't extort me
cuz Jay-Z bare arms...SHORT SLEEVES

always heard it as "shimmy yam" myself

why the hell would it be yam??

give me the mic so i can take it awam?

uh, isn't that just kinda inverting an actual jay line?

surf: it's already nonsense anyway

http://www.nataliedee.com/053005/a-yam.jpg

xp haha no the second one is "yam" not "yeah"

right, i thought that was the one we were talking about

oh, that was to whiney n/m

yeah rev i guess it is

Soul Train done lost they soul
Just call it Train...BORING POP/ROCK 'N ROLL

― michangelo wuz a party d00d (San Te), Thursday, August 19, 2010 8:57 PM Bookmark

ain't no time for hesitation, that only leads to incarceration
you don't know me... AWAITING FRIEND CONFIRMATION

― I.C.P. Freely (bernard snowy), Thursday, August 19, 2010 10:53 PM Bookmark

These two are underrated imo.

hahaha agreed, those are both great

This is a really great thread because the challenge is just so hard that in general I think nobody contributes unless they have something awesome, it's hard to be lazy about it!

Trap goin' ham
We got pies...MCDONALDLAND

I knew I was the man with the master plan
Make you wiggle and jiggle...KIM KARDASHIAN

I can take a phrase that's rarely heard
Flip it...THE BIRD

this is difficult imo but I feel obligated to give it a shot

I can take a phrase that's rarely heard,
Flip it...BIRD

― gross rainbow of haerosmith (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Wednesday, August 18, 2010 11:26 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark

Not so rarely heard it turns out!

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped... BIRD

lol

lols

if u having girl problems i feel bad 4 you son
i got 99 problems...THE GREAT ONE

― handel's messiah complex (m bison), Friday, August 20, 2010 1:29 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark

what i love most about this is how it makes 99 into an adjective

ah shit just thought of a better one:

Trap goin' ham
We got pies flyin'... WAM

btw, do you guys hear these in your head being done by the original artists, or basically does Drake's voice so totally suffuse grocery bag rap that every one of these punchlines acquires his listless, flat delivery?

I imagine everybody delivering the punchlines like the Beastie Boys, where 5 voices shout the words in caps

i actually imagine mine: first line sung by drake, second line rapped by drake

^^^^^^ this must be a painful exercise for u

I always hear Drake, often with the particular clunky inflection of "Last name 'Ever', first name 'Greatest'"

i actually imagine mine: first line sung by drake, second line rapped by drake

― surfboard dudes get wiped out, totally, Wednesday, September 22, 2010 4:10 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

Nowadays everybody wanna talk,
Like they got somethin' to say
But nothin' comes out... CONSTIPATE

Hear my favoritism roll "Oh"
Never be a brother...CALRISSEAN, LANDO

Every jam we play, we break two needles
There's three of us... CHARLIE'S ANGELS

Suckas on my jock when I walk down the block
I really don't care if you're jealous...BIG COCK

And then you're in the man from Mars
You go out at night, eatin'... MARS BARS

About to go and damn near went blind
Young n****s at the pad throwin' up...E COLI

I came in the door, I said it before ... ENCORE

I thought I hated all punchline rap and then I heard "Shooter" by clipping.

It's like a dream land, I can't lie, I've never been there
Maybe this is an experience...VEGAS, CLASSIC CHER!

1, 2, 3 and to the 4
Snoop Doggy Dogg and Dr Dre is at the door
Ready to make an entrance, so back on up
Cos you know I'm bout to rip shit...BUTT

I'm sorry if you can't understand
But I need a radio...RADIO SHACK BRAND

Whenever she happens to walk by, why does the apple of my eye
Overlook and disregard my feelings...PEWDIEPIE

Once upon a time not long ago
When people wore pajamas... NIGHTCLOTHES