Would You Cross The Street To Piss On Chris Martin If He Was On Fire?

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If he reshot that "Yellow" video and walked out into the ocean and didn't come back...maybe.

― Derek Dalek (Derek Dalek), Monday, 23 September 2002 20:45 (twenty-three years ago)

i would like to be the cameraman in the 'Yellow' video, dangling a bottle of Prozac gently above, allowing Chris to continue running - on and on - while i focus on his increasingly exasperated child-like face as i site in a little truck, mercilessly teasing him by yanking the bottle away just as his fingers reach out agonisingly to clasp it...forcing him to keep running along the infinite beach forever in pursuit of the magic happy pills as i cackle manically day in day out

actually, i'm starting to think they're 'alright', but still have no need for em when i can just wack on 'lost souls' or 'last broadcast' instead innit

― blueski, Monday, 23 September 2002 22:03 (twenty-three years ago)

No, definitely not

― Anas FK, Monday, 23 September 2002 23:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Cue thread...Taking sides: Coldplay/Doves...

― Charlie (Charlie), Monday, 23 September 2002 23:28 (twenty-three years ago)

As I doctor I'm afraid I'm morally dutybound to urinate on Chris Martin. Even more so if he's on fire.

― Dr. David Jackson, Tuesday, 24 September 2002 12:07 (twenty-three years ago)

i piss all over chris martin from a great height and i'm not even in a band.

― michael wells (michael w.), Tuesday, 24 September 2002 12:20 (twenty-three years ago)

If I did, he'd be all yellow.

Ba-dump-bump.

― TMFTML (TMFTML), Tuesday, 24 September 2002 14:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Would you piss on him if he got stung by a jellyfish while taking a wry, melancholic walk along the beach?

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Tuesday, 24 September 2002 15:28 (twenty-three years ago)

sure

― Aaron A., Tuesday, 24 September 2002 16:51 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

Just out of curiosity, why is their so much hatred for Mr. Chris Martin. Are you jealous or something? I mean if you do not like him or Coldplay do not listen to them. There are bands that I can’t stand and do not see how they have made it or are even played on the radio. When they are on, I change the station and I do not go searching for information on them. I ran across this board somehow. I was reading some of the stuff on here and was just curious why all the hate. I know sometimes when I am, shall you say a little envious of someone, I act the same way. But this is different. Did he/they do something personally to you?

― gypsyt, Wednesday, 19 May 2004 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, he did. Gwyneth was mine before she was his. I lost my girl to Chris Fucking Martin and therefore I am sad.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Would Chris Martin collaborate with the Streets to piss fire?

Are you jealous or something?

There is nothing Chris Martin has which makes me jealous in the slightest. Him being himself is punishment enough.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 21:16 (twenty-two years ago)

He ain't no baddy
He ain't no baddy
He is Ned's baby's daddy,

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I just wish he'd shave.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

It wouldn't help.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I totally didn't mind him in the "Yellow" video! I'm kind of hoping its cuz he was clean-shaven and had more hair. By looking more innoncent his inanity becomes more forgivable.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

He ain't no baddy
He ain't no baddy
He is Ned's baby's daddy,

I ask you to reconsider.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 23:00 (twenty-two years ago)

'That's for calling your kid "Apple!" *tinkle*'

― I Wish You Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 20 May 2004 00:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate to say it but the "Coldplay vs Yoplait" thread was funnier. There must be some other annoying band deserving of some fresher-tasting ridicule. Hmmm

― Thea (Thea), Thursday, 20 May 2004 01:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Yay, Thea is back! You shoulda come to the FAP last Saturday. :-(

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 20 May 2004 01:08 (twenty-two years ago)

A Warm Rush of Pee to the Head

― Gilles Meloche (Gilles Meloche), Thursday, 20 May 2004 03:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Did he/they do something personally to you?
-- gypsyt (gypsy...), May 19th, 2004 5:55 PM.

I totally thought that said gygax at first.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 20 May 2004 03:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Which street?

― briania (briania), Thursday, 20 May 2004 11:16 (twenty-two years ago)

"I can't believe you guys. There's a human being out there with millions of dollars who needs our help. And you don't want to cash in?"
http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/homer/g2.gif

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Thursday, 20 May 2004 11:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Honestly, I can't ever really harbor any ill will towards Chris Martin - my girlfriend and I went to see Coldplay last year in Atlanta and they had to cancel the show b/c some idiot left all their gear out in the rain and they didn't want to blow themselves up. 99% of bands would have been sufficiently pissed off with the situation to just get back on the bus, head back to the hotel and call it a shitty day, but Chris and the guitarist bloke actually came outside to where we were all waiting in line, acoustic guitars in hand, and played a 5 or 6 song set in the parking lot, saying they were "absolutely gutted" that they had to cancel the show...plus we all got refunds, so basically I got to see Coldplay in a parking lot for free.

― Josh Love (screamapillar), Thursday, 20 May 2004 13:42 (twenty-two years ago)

They're sweet. They rescue kittens in the DVD.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 20 May 2004 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

No, I'd try to get a bucket of water or something to throw at him. Granted, he might die before I find it, but really, considering that he'd most probably be running around like crazy and all, the chances of my urine hitting him long enough to put out the fire seem sort of slim to me. I don't think I'd even consider that option, really.

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Thursday, 20 May 2004 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd probably go "stop, drop, and roll, dude!"

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 20 May 2004 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

He would be making such a lovely noise while burning that I wouldn't want to stop it. I would cook marshmallows.

― hmmm (hmmm), Thursday, 20 May 2004 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Mmmmmmm. Marshmallows.

http://blog.beebware.co.uk/photos/homer.gif

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Thursday, 20 May 2004 14:49 (twenty-two years ago)

basically I got to see Coldplay in a parking lot for free

I freely agree that this is about what it should be.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 20 May 2004 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

i was waiting for someone to make that quip, the over/under was 35 minutes.

― Josh Love (screamapillar), Thursday, 20 May 2004 14:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Him being himself is punishment enough.

Yeah, his life sucks.

― rainman (rainman), Thursday, 20 May 2004 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I regard dealing in any capacity with Gwyneth Paltrow as a sign your life has gone wrong somehow.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 20 May 2004 15:23 (twenty-two years ago)

but she sure is purdy

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 20 May 2004 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

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