Better than cocaine

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So I'm feeling like hell for reasons both connected to this board and outside of it (primarily the latter). And I'm thinking that I need to snap out of this shit, and fast. I have to get my head straightened and feel all right again, get some instantaneous druglike stimulation that'll make me forget about all the haters and hate-ees and the low cash flow and the impending Midwestern Grey Season of Crap. I sit moping for a moment or two, ruminating, scratching the back of my neck as I am wont to do when I am at a loss. And then it hits me:

The Incredible Bongo Band's "Apache".

It's probably not really much of a revelation to anyone for me say that this song is perfect. I've been beaten to this idea many times, especially here, and I suppose I'm simply adding on to a very large heap of praise. But everything about this song clicks seamlessly even as each individual part does its damnedest to stand out above all the others. I've listened to this song five times in a row just to focus on each individual bit -- how the horns manage to sound both intently percussive and mellifluously catchy, the way the bass gives the melody a bottom-heavy underscore, that organ and its resemblance to Booker T. Jones hooked up to an industrial power station, the way the guitar sounds like Dick Dale doing Link Wray doing Vic Flick doing Dick Dale again, and the percussion... oh god, it makes "Moby Dick" and "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" sound like bloody K-Mart Casio presets.

Which leads me to ask: What song above all others makes you feel this way, good enough for you to drag yourself out of a horrendous mire of depression, and important enough for you to vowing to snuff it if you manage to lose your hearing permanently?

― Nate Patrin, Thursday, 26 September 2002 01:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Unfortunately, while "Apache" is better than cocaine, I can only imagine that an original press is about as expensive.

― Nate Patrin, Thursday, 26 September 2002 01:18 (twenty-three years ago)

frida payne's "band of gold", "big eyes" by cheap trick, "sophisticated sissy" by the meters and quite a bit of millie jackson.

― mike (ro)bott, Thursday, 26 September 2002 02:17 (twenty-three years ago)

"spring" st. etienne from foxbase alpha is my answer, as well as "carnival" by the cardigans, and "work that body" by taana gardner, and (nobody knows this one I think) "inhibitions" by belizbeha, the latter being a happy uptempo disco number by a decent acid jazz band from vermont that broke up a while ago before they could get as good as they could have been.
(there are a million more answers to this question!)

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Thursday, 26 September 2002 02:20 (twenty-three years ago)

"Pressure Drop" by Toots and the Maytals. (i won't mention that i was turned on to its powers by that guy who writes for NY Press who was in Soul Coughing)

― Aaron A., Thursday, 26 September 2002 02:25 (twenty-three years ago)

"pressure drop" is sooooooo right! it is the only song I dance to outside of my room!

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Thursday, 26 September 2002 02:32 (twenty-three years ago)

lots and lots of breakbeat hardcore, in particular Open Skies' "Deep in Your Eyes" (track four on History of Our World Part 1)
Ivy's "Get Out of the City"
I am so happy Aaron feels about "Carnival" the way I used to; if I don't it's only because I overplayed the damn thing
Pamelo Mounk'a's "Amen Maria" (is there gonna be another 102 Beats That!? if so, I wanna write about this. I think it's my favorite African record)
lately, Ornette Coleman's "Lonely Woman"

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 26 September 2002 02:35 (twenty-three years ago)

carnival is surely quite overplayable! I remember I was on a bus trip from NYC to Cincinatti and my friend had the soundtrack to the first Austin Powers movie with carnival and I listened to it for three hours straight. I listened to it like ten or twenty times today. I am very careful with that record ;-)

Oh more shite from my mouth...
Moodyman "the dancer (DJ Tonka remix)" (Best piano house evah!)

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Thursday, 26 September 2002 02:39 (twenty-three years ago)

DJ Tonka, "Old Skool"

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 26 September 2002 02:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Also, sad songs by Iris Dement... empathy is the best medicine. or perceived empathy.

― Aaron A., Thursday, 26 September 2002 02:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Any artist from the Monterrey, Mexico, scene will do:

El Gran Silencio
Kinky
Control Machete
Celso Pina
Ely Guerra

― Matt C., Thursday, 26 September 2002 02:49 (twenty-three years ago)

"Super Shine" by the Boredoms. Everything beautiful about life packed into about 12 minutes.

― Mark (MarkR), Thursday, 26 September 2002 02:56 (twenty-three years ago)

man the bumble bee song by blind melon ie: no rain.........it always gets me, a silly light song that for some reason gets me singing and loving life again no matter what has happened.
no, it isnt a masterpiece of music but it has a magic for me that is better than cocaine.

― donna (donna), Thursday, 26 September 2002 03:24 (twenty-three years ago)

patrin have you ever even actually done the stuff? you might as wellve just called the thread 'better than sex' haha

― simon trife (simon_tr), Thursday, 26 September 2002 04:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Erasure's "A Little Respect" -- instacharge of energy. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 September 2002 04:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, or "better than not being annoyed by a basehead from Athens."

Now get out of my thread, bitch.

― Nate Patrin, Thursday, 26 September 2002 04:18 (twenty-three years ago)

motherfucker I HIT EM UP

― simon trife (simon_tr), Thursday, 26 September 2002 04:24 (twenty-three years ago)

dude -- "cocaine" is better than cocaine with clapton's smooth guitar work i mean damn. more rappers should work with clapton.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 26 September 2002 04:25 (twenty-three years ago)

"Ilx is light on moderation, so if you're going to post here a lot there's a sort of responsibility not to be an arsehole or act destructively."

I'm being serious here: stop being a destructive arsehole. I don't want to get moderators involv- no, wait, I do. I want you tossed out of here because I can't fucking post anything withour your punk ass interfering with your unfunny bullshit and your personal attacks.

― Nate Patrin, Thursday, 26 September 2002 04:27 (twenty-three years ago)

hey how about instead you eat my ass you clueless cum bubble

― simon trife (simon_tr), Thursday, 26 September 2002 04:31 (twenty-three years ago)

OK, this has escalated into ridiculous heights of retardation. Figures that I can't even start a thread about A FUCKING SONG THAT MAKES ME HAPPY without Ethan busting in holding his crotch pretending to be some dollar store Marshall Mathers with a broken shift key.

― Nate Patrin, Thursday, 26 September 2002 04:35 (twenty-three years ago)

sweet female attitude - "flowers"

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 26 September 2002 04:39 (twenty-three years ago)

"dollar store marshall mathers with a broken shift key" = my dream boy obv

― geeta (geeta), Thursday, 26 September 2002 05:04 (twenty-three years ago)

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 26 September 2002 05:06 (twenty-three years ago)

haha by the looks of that face i'm a "sad frog with a broken shift key"

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 26 September 2002 05:09 (twenty-three years ago)

---> ((

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 26 September 2002 05:09 (twenty-three years ago)

$#%^#$#$

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 26 September 2002 05:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Cocaine, abstinence, and Mike Oldfield. What fresh hell descended upon ILX today?

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 26 September 2002 05:12 (twenty-three years ago)

i blame pitchfork.

but then i always do...

― mike (ro)bott, Thursday, 26 September 2002 05:29 (twenty-three years ago)

rufus & chaka khan "ain't nobody".

― michael wells (michael w.), Thursday, 26 September 2002 07:28 (twenty-three years ago)

Dr Alimantado - Poison Flour
Eddie Bo - The Thang
AC/DC - Back In Black
Freda Payne - Unhooked Generation
Rhythim Is Rhythim - The Dance

― Leo, Thursday, 26 September 2002 08:13 (twenty-three years ago)

soothing sounds for baby

― kephm, Thursday, 26 September 2002 19:07 (twenty-three years ago)

I blame the return of disco music.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 26 September 2002 19:15 (twenty-three years ago)

"Songs to Make You Feel Good" compilation cd -includes "Brown eyed girl - Van Morrison" "Why does my heart feel so bad - Moby" "Don't look back in anger - Oasis"

There's even a customer review for it that quotes Abraham Lincoln!
(http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00006FSQE)

― lyra (lyra), Thursday, 26 September 2002 21:34 (twenty-three years ago)

The Chills- Pink Frost
The Bats-Block Of Wood
Motorhead- Born To Raise Hell
Bettie Davis- Nasty Girl

― brg30 (brg30), Thursday, 26 September 2002 21:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Hi, Nate told me to come here and lay down some SMACK! on y'all, but unfortunately it seems he forgot I don't like message boards very much. So I'm just going to totally AMAZE! and ASTOUND! you by saying that I listen to (OMG HORROR) Cake's 'Comfort Eagle' album, of all things, when I get struck by a sudden urge to start being happy. This might have something to do with the fact that almost all of my music collection is oldskool punk and similar, which, while pretty standup music, doesn't exactly make your insides warm and fuzzy.

― Stiv, Thursday, 26 September 2002 21:39 (twenty-three years ago)

"Born Under Punches", of course!! And "Pressure Drop" as well as "Down to This". & "Runnin' Away" by Sly & the Fam

― A.V. Alexandre (Keiko), Thursday, 26 September 2002 21:43 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...

haha

― ep, Sunday, 3 November 2002 06:05 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...

i dont like cocaine, so most shit is better you know?

the bangalter and falcon track is so cool, its like such an mdma track ostensibly, but its more like a pissed up last orders pub record, people drunkenly singing at the bus stop, i mean, i'll tell you, i've started to hear this record in an irish accent, its like Archway or something, i mean, you get me right? they should fade it out, and leave an acapella of 40something teesiders singing it outside the kings head, you know, then get some gritty mike leigh wannabe to do the video, he'd go for the poignancy angle, "look at the proles" while hes lining up the uncle c in the trailer, "be a darling Gilbert get me my diary would you?"

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 7 December 2002 20:39 (twenty-three years ago)

5-HTP works pretty good when you're coming down. Or so I've heard. Better yet; get to a place where you don't need to do the cocaine in the first place.

― Sean (Sean), Saturday, 7 December 2002 20:46 (twenty-three years ago)

eh? i dont do coke.

but 5htp is the business, that stuffs really good, you can get it in healthfood shops and it makes you right as rain! should have taken a couple today, but i forgot

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 7 December 2002 20:50 (twenty-three years ago)

That wasn't directed at you specifically, Gareth. But glad to hear you agree. If you've been taking it consistently for a few days and then have a couple drinks, do you end up with a nasty headache? I usually do. I guess I could just *not drink* (yeah right)...

― Sean (Sean), Saturday, 7 December 2002 20:53 (twenty-three years ago)

what, 5HTP? i only have one if i'm run down, to be honest, i forget i've got them, i usually have them for hangover, or tiredness, or, you know, morning after a club...

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 7 December 2002 21:06 (twenty-three years ago)

For serious happy wow action I turn to ''One Two Three (No Gravity)' by Closer Musik and LFO's 'Psychodelik'. But music doesn't really get me out of a funk very easily, usually it takes a 400mg ibuprofen and some retail therapy.

― Tom Millar (Millar), Saturday, 7 December 2002 21:31 (twenty-three years ago)

eight months pass...

Outkast - "Hey Ya"?

― phil-two (phil-two), Saturday, 6 September 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

haha best thread revival of the year

― gabbo giftington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 6 September 2003 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

there's a reason I start every morning with just a taste of AC/DC.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 6 September 2003 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

three weeks pass...

This thread should have denigrated into mass flaming. That'd have been funny. None of this "Ooh, you're rubbish" "No, you are" "Aaaaaah" crap.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, 28 September 2003 17:12 (twenty-two years ago)

eat the corn out of my shit, dom

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Sunday, 28 September 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

That's somewhat better. What the thread then needed was someone to go "OWN3D!!!!!" after a salient comment.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, 28 September 2003 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

it's spelled with an "0", actually

and then we'd need a wacky picture of a monkey!

http://www.metal-sludge.com/MonkeyFreak.jpg

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Sunday, 28 September 2003 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Does The Incredible Bongo Band's "Apache" turn you into an asshole, like coke does? Maybe....

― Dadaismus (Dada), Monday, 29 September 2003 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"Stray Cat Blues"-The Stones
"Stories"-Chakachas
"Energy Flash"-Beltram
etc

― adaml (adaml), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 05:49 (twenty-two years ago)

"Because I Got High" Afroman

― Speedy Gonzalas (Speedy Gonzalas), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 06:00 (twenty-two years ago)

New Order 'Crystal'

― Fabrice (Fabfunk), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 07:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Does The Incredible Bongo Band's "Apache" turn you into an asshole, like coke does?

No, but trife will occasionally have that tendency.

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 13:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't laugh, but exactly does "trife" mean?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 13:17 (twenty-two years ago)

nine years pass...

hey how about instead you eat my ass you clueless cum bubble

― simon trife (simon_tr), Thursday, September 26, 2002 12:31 AM (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― finally rich, fun-packed, fulfilling (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 2 January 2013 21:24 (thirteen years ago)

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