worse review ever ... should i go with my intial rough draft?

Easyworld are Teenage Corporate Pop Assasins signed to Britney Spears label, Jive Records. A three piece guitar band from Brighton started out of boredom living in Eastbourne,however, some pundits would have you believe that Easyworld were created in a test tube at
Jive Records Boardrooms in an successful experimental attempt to enter murky waters of independent music. Tonight Easyworld are in town to flog some interest in their album “This is Where I Stand”.

Conceptually, tonight, this is fantastic. Easyworld have one song. Bleach, the second single to be released from the album. All their songs sound like slight variations of the one song. The one song has many titles, “You and Me” and “Try Not To Think”. The song carries the chilly corporate mark of being researched and test-marketed. The song sounds like a poppier Muse A-side auditioning to be on the next Dawson’s Creek compilation. Easyworld play the one song, which is guitar quiet, guitar loud guitar quiet and shout the chorus, throughout the night disguised as a set list. The grind of watching is boredom taken to a higher warholian level, it is post modern and fascinating.

And Easyworld are loved. Tonight there is near hormonal pandemonium as teenage girls arms flailing with emotion, try to touch Glenn throughout the night, scream lyrics back at the band. A chap gets up on stage to hug, Glenn Hooper, crying “I love you, Glenn”.
This is the Patridge Family and singer is the new David Cassidy. In the future, this will be reverred as fantastic kitsch. Easyworld have nothing to say