Items you could never wear

whoa that is so cool

Ahhhhhhhhh!

I never look good in ANYTHING trendy, modern or on a mannequin at Barney's, Neiman Marcus etc...It is frustrating. I seem to only look good-great in vintage dresses or repro vintage dresses like Stop Staring, Pin-Up Girl and Whirlingturban. I have tried to do the jeans and heels, scarf tops and dresses but they just look terrible on me. But then I feel so Sandra Dee sometimes when out with my girlfriends. Empire waist makes me look pregnant so nothing in my wardrobe has one.I always get asked how much of a Mad Men fan am I really.
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3248/5841714880_3595537504.jpg
I still like wearing slips for dresses. I have never been the girl with hoop earrings either. Just not very fashionable.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3248/5841714880_3595537504.jpg
Summertime and the living is easy... by Tera in the Isles, on Flickr

Sorry the pic didn't seem to work the first time.

this "maxi cardi" by which i mean FLORAL ROBE

http://www.shopruche.com/images/apparel/8654.jpg

wtf is that

God help me I would wear that as part of my sartorial quest to turn into Maude by the time I hit 50.

hate this muumuu shit

that is a really ugly polyester robe, plain and simple.

That thing is an abomination, and I love housedresses.

i love housedresses too, for wearing inside my house

http://birthdayshoes.com/media/blogs/bdayshoes/Vibram_Five_Fingers/speed800.jpg

I looked again and yup. I'd still wear the floral Maudigan.

Never ever wear toe sneakers though.

god you'd think they could just add a little shield or something to cover the separated toe part/abomination

So it's fall! And you know what's back? SWEATER COATS.

are you referring to those... things... that look like chunky knitted bathrobes...?

Why yes, I am.

polyester floral bathrobes vs chunky sweater bathrobes

ugh. college flashbacks. camel-colored sweater coat + uggs + boot cut jeans was practically a nyu female undergrad uniform back in my day. that's if they even bothered to change into jeans.

a sloppy ponytail and a pack of marlboro ultra-lights really finished off the look

My disapproval of the sweater coats is because it can't be good for the sweater? The knit's going to get all stretched out over the shoulders where all the weight hangs from. I don't like when the knitted lines get deformed or stretched out so they don't match the rest of the pattern. Plus that makes it thinner/less warm wherever there's stress, so the warmest part is somewhere around your knees.

And they hang out visibly from underneath coats. Gross.

dress with dogs on it
http://productshots1.modcloth.com/productshots/0089/8187/1a32915b0d602a23012a8794bafacb79.jpg?1319145105

Important trends in fashion part 1: PENIS PANTS

Jesse just narrated the fashions he saw while walking near UIC's campus, which included a guy wearing pajama bottoms, flip flops, and a gray hoodie with a lace-up neck.

I mean really.

I'd rock the dog dress.

Just kidding, that's awful.

What if it were made of velvet?

Dog printed velvet?

I thought I could never wear ankle-skimming, paperbag-waisted, bright blue peg-leg trousers but hey ho, guess what I just bought. My 25-year-old self would hate me.

i would probably still pass if it were velvet, but i might have to think twice
the cut is also extremely dull
maybe if it were a pinafore?

if i saw a lady wearing that dog dress, i would think that she was a snazzy, fashion-forward lady

Now I want a dog skirt.

I saw a 6'7 woman from Oregon wearing those toe sneakers. I was speechless.

I don't know if the youngs would wear this, but I think the url says it all
http://shop.walk.by/products/cat-lovers-vest

i have a soft spot for tapestry vests. my date to the sixth grade spring fling wore one, so it's probably just totally irrational nostalgia. but those cats are crazy.

on the other hand, i think if anybody could rock the dog dress you posted above, i think it would be you, la lechera.

hahaha I was about to repost the link to the penis pants thread

ha
i'm not sure i could bring myself to wear that dog dress when there are so many more marvelous things to wear

i looooove paisley vests, but tapestry has always seemed shamefully ugly to me. plus heart shaped buttons? dear lord.

Save $3!

If you wanted to be covered in the many and varied colors of cat hair you could just own a couple of cats. It's really not necessary to mimic them with tapestry.

I say wear the cat vest over the dog dress, go full menagerie and confuse everyone as to which team you're on

:)

The cat vest is v nice tapestry, but the fact that it is cats makes me say no. It lives in the category with the kind of christmas sweaters worn by slightly elderly women in weird department stores like Gottschalks

not so much that i couldn't wear this, but i definitely wouldn't. it looks almost exactly like a stationery set i got at pier 1 in high school.

http://productshots3.modcloth.com/productshots/0119/5774/c07750a81b865be933e2954ec505d37c.jpg?1348090966

perhaps a useful outfit if you like to cosplay as a genealogy website

reminds me of those tops they sell at costco with the weird antique writing screen printed on them with like PARIS bedazzled in fake rhinestones

Gladiator sandals....sexy or granola? I had a pair when I was like 13 or so....I thought they were cool but cannot remember how I wore them at all. Recently been hmmmm gladiator sandals, the kind that lace...why do I want to explore? WHY?!

I love traditional leather gladiators - I finally found a pair on etsy made in israel, but they killed my feet.

I really liked them til the last outdoor music festival I went to; I saw 10,000 of the bloody things in one weekend and I AM SO DONE WITH THEM

but they can look super cute, I totally get the appeal

the flat-footedness of them is bad for me though. I need a bit more support in my old age

I want this whole look, but sadly I do not think it will ever happen. Pink hair stripe and metallic gloves and all.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/5a6b4fb68d464f53ba3e210edf37230d/tumblr_mhfmtmSD401r7vejfo3_250.jpg

hot!!

though her pose makes that sheer section look like she has a wrinkly old-lady stomach