forks u should buy it nyc is dead suburbs is the new way
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 19 May 2020 03:40 (four years ago) link
suburbs and also pittsburgh I guess
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 19 May 2020 03:41 (four years ago) link
is that a hide rug on top of the beige carpet
― forensic plumber (harbl), Tuesday, 19 May 2020 03:54 (four years ago) link
bill hader stefon character "this house has everything..."
― forensic plumber (harbl), Tuesday, 19 May 2020 03:55 (four years ago) link
Listen
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 19 May 2020 04:09 (four years ago) link
If you REALLY like adventure
You need this: https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1-Columbia-Is-New-Rochelle-NY-10805/2084001407_zpid/
https://photos.zillowstatic.com/cc_ft_768/ISq9wosyu463t10000000000.webp
It looks like the Fyre Festival of luxury island houses
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 19 May 2020 04:10 (four years ago) link
So baller https://photos.zillowstatic.com/uncropped_scaled_within_1344_1008/ISi3ucasqwx5t10000000000.webp
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 19 May 2020 04:12 (four years ago) link
The listing style of that Fun & Adventure house, constantly zooming out on each photo, could not be more annoying
Island house - well, at least you'd be safely quarantined there...
― Lee626, Tuesday, 19 May 2020 05:09 (four years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/tSoL5Jg.gif
― pplains, Tuesday, 19 May 2020 12:23 (four years ago) link
Wasn't until it was animated that I noticed the patio furniture way up in the background by the house. Nice touch.
― pplains, Tuesday, 19 May 2020 12:24 (four years ago) link
ZS vibes
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 19 May 2020 13:18 (four years ago) link
I'll see your 16 million island prison and raise you a mega-garish 35 million imitation palais that is Trumpy as all fuck
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/10A-Dock-Ln-Great-Neck-NY-11024/2081244332_zpid/
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 19 May 2020 16:39 (four years ago) link
perfect for the family with more money than god but no taste whatsoever. http://i.imgur.com/nRN2rnI.pnghttp://i.imgur.com/Jks3dlN.pnghttp://i.imgur.com/1UR7yc9.pnghttp://i.imgur.com/HtYRoRV.pnghttp://i.imgur.com/71blA8t.pnghttp://i.imgur.com/j0gKdBi.pngPICK A FUCKING PATTERN
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 19 May 2020 16:44 (four years ago) link
the filters these photographers use for real estate photography are out of control
― Spottie, Tuesday, 19 May 2020 17:32 (four years ago) link
they layer a lot.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 19 May 2020 18:02 (four years ago) link
it's HDR, right?
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 19 May 2020 20:01 (four years ago) link
when the photographer who worked for c0c0r4n came to take pics of my place she said they take multiple frames of the same shot and then layer them all to get that saturation.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 19 May 2020 20:36 (four years ago) link
maybe that was just her method? but it seems that certain brokers have the same style/color on their sites for all the listings.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 19 May 2020 20:37 (four years ago) link
yah its mostly just extreme HDR but they do some other tricks too
― Spottie, Tuesday, 19 May 2020 20:45 (four years ago) link
oh wait i had to look up hdr. for some reason i thought it was a resolution thing.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 19 May 2020 20:45 (four years ago) link
yeah it's hdr
HugelyDumbRooms
― i am a horse girl (map), Tuesday, 19 May 2020 23:02 (four years ago) link
for all their money, that is a shit tv in the last pic. and a clock like a dentist waiting room.
― koogs, Wednesday, 20 May 2020 08:01 (four years ago) link
I could imagine living on the minecraft island house but not the Versaille hotel. At least not sleeping there, and definitely not taking LSD.
― thomasintrouble, Wednesday, 20 May 2020 08:42 (four years ago) link
I see the same thing over and over again. Rich people do not know how to live.
― pplains, Wednesday, 20 May 2020 12:38 (four years ago) link
the towels in the bathroom annoyed me the most.
― Yerac, Wednesday, 20 May 2020 13:28 (four years ago) link
Srsly having been looking non stop at listings for weeks now, the homes in the higher price ranges are way uglier than the cheaper ones on average
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 20 May 2020 13:54 (four years ago) link
The French Limestone Mansion Faces A Rare Marble Fountain Imported From The Rothschild Estate In France, Contains Multiple Parquet De Versailles Floors, Boiserie Removed From Centuries-Old French Chateaus, Verre Eglomise Mirrors And Pietra Dura Floors.
Somehow capitalizing each word seems completely appropriate.
― jmm, Wednesday, 20 May 2020 14:09 (four years ago) link
http://www.wfp.com/listing-showcase/property-details.asp?mlsid=MDMC678718#
keep going until you get to the basement
― na (NA), Wednesday, 27 May 2020 15:29 (four years ago) link
lmao it was honestly pretty tasteful for a rich person house until that point
― ciderpress, Wednesday, 27 May 2020 15:35 (four years ago) link
that's a helluva twist
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 27 May 2020 15:37 (four years ago) link
it looks like a funeral home. and then the basement... mary poppins meets the exorcist is about right
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 27 May 2020 15:42 (four years ago) link
What the.
Never making fun on any regular man caves again.
― pplains, Wednesday, 27 May 2020 15:42 (four years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/FlW3LyP.jpg
― pplains, Wednesday, 27 May 2020 15:46 (four years ago) link
A child's dream of a toy store and then...a massage parlor. This seems fine.
― There's more Italy than necessary. (in orbit), Wednesday, 27 May 2020 16:04 (four years ago) link
I'm kind of with the people on twitter who said if they were rich they'd do something similar. I mean, you're rich! Make it fun. Also Mary Poppins/The Exorcist double bill is hilarious. To be honest I'm more stuck on why you'd want a balcony overlooking your kitchen...
― emil.y, Wednesday, 27 May 2020 16:23 (four years ago) link
That does show a sense of humor, but I feel like the owners would be overly eager to show it to you and elbow you in the ribs to force you to laugh, like a Fred Willard character
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 27 May 2020 16:25 (four years ago) link
separately I just don't get what people do with all that space -- scavenger hunts?
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 27 May 2020 16:26 (four years ago) link
they dust
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 27 May 2020 16:28 (four years ago) link
room for the maid, au pair, chef and then room for the grandkids when they visit iirc
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 27 May 2020 17:12 (four years ago) link
To be honest I'm more stuck on why you'd want a balcony overlooking your kitchen...
― emil.y, Wednesday, May 27, 2020 11:23 AM
Yeah, this brought on some unfortunate barndominium flashbacks.
― pplains, Wednesday, 27 May 2020 19:30 (four years ago) link
the basement is both awesome and exactly what man alive describes. at least it reflects some kind of personality - the whole rest of the house is an exhausting barrage of "rich people live like this, right?" tropes that i'm always stunned to be reminded still hold actual present-day appeal for large swaths of the ruling class. fuck them all! the little guest-building out in the yard seems like more house than i would know what to do with.
― Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 27 May 2020 20:14 (four years ago) link
Not a listing photo, but I keep getting facebook ads for this bathroom renovation company called Block Renovations, and I'm deeply, irrationally angered by this sharp-cornered protruding shower shelf, probably because I just imagine myself half asleep injuring myself on it
https://images.ctfassets.net/q9rxrblsu2zi/5LdGQbtVpOfY5XVGldEQUr/9136921c9e7805b95cbdb85f10cb0d3a/colorblockindex_d_2x.jpg
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 27 May 2020 20:18 (four years ago) link
the bathroom itself is not bad but a little cold for a home imo, like it looks more like a stall at some hip small contemporary art museum
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 27 May 2020 20:19 (four years ago) link
yeah somewhere in between that and a recently-renovated hotel. the coordinated, neutral, blend-into-the-background beauty products are probably the main reason it seems impersonal. i mean in practice all a bathroom really needs is one or two personal art choices hung up.
― Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 27 May 2020 20:21 (four years ago) link
https://medium.com/@SimonORegan/adventures-in-bad-design-showers-f96324c3510ahttp://miro.medium.com/max/1400/1*LP3NKxDOTYrO1OZ_cAtn8g.jpeg
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 27 May 2020 20:24 (four years ago) link
there's tity in that picture
― silby, Wednesday, 27 May 2020 21:03 (four years ago) link
hard to imagine anyone of my generation decorating a house anything like that but maybe the human brain just warps that way after age 40
― ciderpress, Wednesday, 27 May 2020 21:15 (four years ago) link
That green bathroom looks like it's made for a vampire who lives inside AUTOCAD.
And not only do I see a tity in the shower, but I also see the dude from the Chronic Town album cover.
― pplains, Wednesday, 27 May 2020 21:36 (four years ago) link