its a wonderful life

My neighbors are *very* light sleepers and they're sort of cranky and old (they love to file noise complaints for the tiniest rumble) so on nights when I cannot find my earbuds, I'm kind of at a loss (I sleep on my side so big headphones are impossible.) I have discovered a non-music alternative lately, though: I cart my TV and VCR into my bedroom, pop in a hardcore porno tape -- I'm talking "gonzo" material here, like rough anal or cumswapping or loud gagging coughing slobbering deepthroat stuff, lots of yelling -- and turn it up pretty loud. For some reason they never complain about that (I think they're too embarrassed to talk about sex, or, they feel they only have the right to complain about *music* noise -- that's why I only play the real amateur shit: no music, sounds like real fucking.) So I watch the porn and bust a nut and fall asleep immediately and the yelps and wet slappy noises keep going in the background for 2 hours and noone fucks with me. In the morning the tape has been automatically rewound and I hit play again, masturbate once more, and go to work. It's a wonderful life.

-- Ramosi, Saturday, January 19, 2002 1:00 AM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link