Ask Dr. Lola

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Since Oops decided I should replace Dr. Phil...I'mmaking a thread to answer any burning questions you guys have about anything... or maybe if you need advice. I'm always here. The Dr. is in.

― Lola Falana, Monday, 29 September 2003 22:26 (twenty-two years ago)

This isn't advicey, but I need to know if too much sleep is unhealthy?? I'm too lazy to find out for myself. It's probably not important because I only ever get too little sleep.

― Elisabeth (Elisabeth), Monday, 29 September 2003 23:50 (twenty-two years ago)

whats a good way to get motivated, lola? will i have to give up masturbation?

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 00:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Lola, what is the best way to train a cat to dance?

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 11:34 (twenty-two years ago)

what themes do you think are essential to make a contemporary novel (not necessarily a best seller) enduring/entertaining/culturally useful?

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 11:55 (twenty-two years ago)

since reading that dentists here treat several patients simultaneously - moving from prostrate patient to prostrate patient - and knowing that they love shochu (a potent white spirit from this area) and that they must sometimes be hungover when 'operating', i want to know if you know how long after consumption it takes for orange juice to start rotting your teeth? i mean, i have a quick glass in the morning - first thing - to wake me up (i have given up coffee) and then i rush and have water and swish it about my mouth. do you think i'm okay, or will i leave japan looking like johnny depp (the cheek bones on on their way) in that silly new film of his, with all his gold teeth. they are paying me enough to get gold ones so at least that's something...but what do you think? do you think i am thinking about my teeth cause when you dream about teeth being knocked out it's related to new beginnings and i am at the end of a new beginning - insofar as i have been here long enough that it's no longer a beginning it's now happening, though this place isn't really a 'happening' place, hence this long post , and so now it's happening i am thinking it not dreaming it.

in short, do teeth rot from sugar cause sugar fuels bacteria, or has the seeming acidity of OJ got anything to do with it?

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 12:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha I read that as "prostate", I was wondering about yr dentists over there. Good luck w/looking like Johnny Depp, though.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 13:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait is "ACID" actually acid? If so, orange juice is super alkaline or whatever it's called

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

ELISABETH>>
Yes. Getting too much sleep is unhealthy. It disrupts your natural sleep pattern (they are called circadian rhythms). Getting too much sleep can be just as bad as getting too little. It leaves you grumpy, sleepy and sometimes with a headache throughout the rest of your day.

LADY LUREX>>
Masturbation is great. You should never have to give that up...unless it's like...cutting into your day. Masturbation is a great way to relieve stress and tension. Good ways to get motivated... hmmmm... well, self motivation is really hard because, well, you have to do it yourself and most people who need self motivation aren't really motivated to do anything. I say that you start small, and set little goals for yourself everday...and then work up to something big.

ANDREW>>
Cats are assholes. You can't teach them to do anything. I love cats, and I have one. *Say hello Mr. Steve* "Meow". ...but dammit, that cat will probably train you to dance before you trian it. Maybe you and Di can team up for some motivation for yourselves and the cat. As far as I can tell, cats are just women in cheap fur coats.

CLARE>>
It has been so long since I have read a good contemporary novel that I can't even begin to say. I will say this though: The author has to have their heart in it. I have actually read novels where it was such crap because the author was trying to do something with the book that he was obviosuly not into. I would say to write for yourself before you write for others... that's when I do my best work.

CLARE (again)>>
as far as I know, Orange Juice won't rot your teeth any faster than anything else. OJ is packed with great stuff like Vitamin C and other nutrients that (believe it or not) are essential for the health or your bones! The sugars in OJ are not the same kind of sugars in like...brownies, they are at a much lower concentration and just...not the same. That goes for the acids too. It's citric acid, so you don't have to worry about the acid either. I'd say: Enjoy your OJ, and try to find a new dentist.

― Lola Falana, Tuesday, 30 September 2003 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Yawn*

And some more fucking yawn...........

― The Leader (Adrian McCoy), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

ADRIAN>>
Did you know that you yawn because your body needs a quick shot of oxygen to your brain? That's why you yawn when you are tired.

― Lola Falana, Tuesday, 30 September 2003 20:49 (twenty-two years ago)

lola's right re yawns, adrian/leader, but what i find curious is that i doubt you have enough gray matter - even that lower brain 'medulla oblongata' - to register the O2 levels in your blood. so i think your yawns are FAKE.

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 21:10 (twenty-two years ago)

See that was kinda funny, Adesy

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 22:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Indeed. That was funny. Much funnier than saying "fuck you asshole, and die" 50 thousand times.

― Lola Falana, Wednesday, 1 October 2003 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

How should I go about studying for an art history slide test? It's 12 images and 3 terms. Renaissance Italy, the pictures could be ANYTHING!

― Elisabeth (Elisabeth), Thursday, 2 October 2003 00:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I bet they're pretty well known ones she's discussed in the lectures in some depth. Well, I hope they are, anyway. That one of the Pope sitting down's sure to be in it, she said it would be (or was that the metal doors? One of them)

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 2 October 2003 01:27 (twenty-two years ago)

She said today they wouldn't be too obscure, but they wouldn't be completely obvious (like say the Mona Lisa). I should go on the images database because I can't recognise things that well.

― Elisabeth (Elisabeth), Thursday, 2 October 2003 03:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Andrew is right, I thik that the pictures she shows will be somewhat familiar. I have never taken an art history class. It sounds interesting. I studied Latin for 2 years, and I do know a lot about Roman Arcitecture...but thats the extent of it. Good luck....if all else fails, just get drunk.

― Lola Falana, Thursday, 2 October 2003 16:16 (twenty-two years ago)

thank you for your advice, lola. it seems i can be motivated without giving up masturbation.

should i move to the country?

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Friday, 3 October 2003 05:13 (twenty-two years ago)

move to another country!!

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 3 October 2003 06:38 (twenty-two years ago)

A lot of people like country living. Myself, I prefer the slight rat racey city that I live in and love known as San Jose, Ca. It makes me happy. I do like to visit the country...it's peaceful.

― Lola Falana, Friday, 3 October 2003 23:22 (twenty-two years ago)

i used to love the city, what happened?

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Saturday, 4 October 2003 06:44 (twenty-two years ago)

lola, my girlfriend had one pore that got really stretched by a blackhead when she was 12. it plagues her everytime she looks in the mirror - especially the rear view mirror of her car, which magnifies it. she worries people concentrate on it and has taken to hating people because of it. can a large pore ever be made small again?

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Saturday, 4 October 2003 11:39 (twenty-two years ago)

di - when you met sasha did yo notice her pore?

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Saturday, 4 October 2003 11:40 (twenty-two years ago)

i have a pore like that on my face. it's horrible

― the surface noise (electricsound), Saturday, 4 October 2003 12:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Unfortunately, no. When a blackhead forms, bacteria and oils are what gets into your pores and the bacteria (brace yourself) eats away at your skin, crating scar tissue. I have a small one that isn't very noticeable...but I've tried everything from vitamin E to aloe to harsher stuff. She's stuck...but if it is any consolation, I have a scar by my eye that I received from an injury when I was 2...its almost gone now...through the skins natural aging, stretching and shifting, in about a year, you won't even know it's there.

― Lola Falana, Saturday, 4 October 2003 22:12 (twenty-two years ago)

i like this idea!

― black plastic (black plastic), Saturday, 4 October 2003 22:25 (twenty-two years ago)

thanks dr lola, that terrifying bit of info is excellent. i take from it the idea that one should certainly squeeze blemishes, least they eat your face away.

now, another question also relating to sasha. when we met 7 years ago she had blue hair, which she wore short. since then she's had red and black hair (same time: red and front; black at back), blonde hair (her natural) longish and short hair. she looks very good with short hair but decided to grow it into a bob so she could look like jodie foster in silence of the lambs. she's quite the fox, even with that pit, but i have to say the hair's a llitle sedate. do you advocate racier hair styles, or do you think tried and true foster bobs are the way to fly under the gaydar, especially here in nihon? i tell her there is no gaydar here...

what's di's hair like these days?

i'm trying to do a justine from elastica with mine

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Sunday, 5 October 2003 00:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, being a true lesbian, I have always pretty much kept my hair shoulder length and it's own natural color...but it wasn't until recently that I discovered layering and coloring are awesome. My hair is still shoulder length, but its really choppy and trashy ( I love it) and it's kind of chocolate brown with highlights. For winter I was thinking of going dark.
If you are trying to go straight and girly, then I would definitely go outrageosly highlighted and stuff. If it's too plain (like Jodie Foster's) people will be like "Wow. THAT'S A LESBIAN." It's tricky tho...cause then if you have the short, dark dyed hair, then people will assume too. Really there is no way to get around it. I say, shave your head...no wait...

p.s. Jodie Foster is a lesbian.

― Lola Falana, Sunday, 5 October 2003 01:05 (twenty-two years ago)

my hair is the same as it was when you met me, clare. i never noticed sasha's pore at all.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Sunday, 5 October 2003 02:09 (twenty-two years ago)

thanks again lola. yes, she could run into the "Wow. THAT'S A LESBIAN." response if she's not careful. i think she'll go short but stay blonde.

i did know about jodie - one of my nyc friends slept with her in the mid-90s, before she hooked up with that frump all the gossip mags call her "best friend". she's a real comfortable shoes-type.

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Sunday, 5 October 2003 05:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Everyone knew about Jodie

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 5 October 2003 09:07 (twenty-two years ago)

but does anyone really know who her sperm donor(s) was/were?

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Sunday, 5 October 2003 11:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I wonder if she even does, actually

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 5 October 2003 11:32 (twenty-two years ago)

She didn't seem too worried about it, maybe it was some friend she's keeping secret

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 5 October 2003 21:23 (twenty-two years ago)

i think she went to one of those banks that rank its donors by IQ and height.

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Sunday, 5 October 2003 23:54 (twenty-two years ago)

haha what a dumbass thing to do. as if IQ is genetic!!

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 6 October 2003 01:13 (twenty-two years ago)

it's carried through the chick line, apparently and she's supposed to be some kinda genius so she could have gone for looks only. maybe someone a little less pointy featured.

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Monday, 6 October 2003 02:47 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 6 October 2003 23:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Jodie is so unattractive. I think if I wanted genes from any famous person, it'd probably be someone pretty and graceful, like Catherine Zeta Jones. Rowr.

― Lola Falana, Tuesday, 7 October 2003 21:19 (twenty-two years ago)

are you kidding? she's a fuckin welsh slut! jodie's better looking than her by miles and she can act and doesn't need to flash her puffed up tits all over the joint. actually i bet jodie, even after two sprogs, has nice hard titties with small nipples.

please tell me you were joking about zeta-jones!

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Thursday, 9 October 2003 07:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Ladies, ladies please. They're both hags.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 9 October 2003 07:29 (twenty-two years ago)

too true, but this was an either/or wasn't it?

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Thursday, 9 October 2003 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Honey, they're both ridiculous. I was being sarcastic.

― Lola Falana, Thursday, 9 October 2003 23:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I hope you don't inform us all on yr imaginings of Zeta-Jones' breasts now!

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 9 October 2003 23:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Lola, I need advice. What do you think Clare's problem with me is?

― Elisabeth (Elisabeth), Friday, 10 October 2003 01:21 (twenty-two years ago)

She's a fucking creep?

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 10 October 2003 06:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe I'm incredibly dense, but I never noticed tension between you two. I don't know what her problem is. I don't know what anyone's problem is. Maybe we should all just have a big orgy.

― Lola Falana, Saturday, 11 October 2003 00:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Phwoar!

― Elisabeth (Elisabeth), Saturday, 11 October 2003 07:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, an orgy will solve everything. Who is "us all" though? Everyone who ever posted on IRE?

― Livvie (Livvie), Saturday, 11 October 2003 07:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah. No. Just the hot chicks. Rebekah, Di, Livvie, Elisabeth and Clare...No guys. Boys are dumb.

― Lola Falana, Saturday, 11 October 2003 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

and cuspidorian too!

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Saturday, 11 October 2003 22:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait... which boys are dumb?

― The Man they call Dan (The Man they call Dan), Saturday, 11 October 2003 23:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Ugh Clare, I'm out.

― Elisabeth (Elisabeth), Sunday, 12 October 2003 00:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Where is Rebekah these days anyway?? Rebekah! IRE loves you!

― Elisabeth (Elisabeth), Sunday, 12 October 2003 00:17 (twenty-two years ago)

boys! the trouble with boys! the trouble with...boys! they're nothing but trouble!

― The Lady Ms Loreta (lucylurex), Sunday, 12 October 2003 01:03 (twenty-two years ago)

they think they're so big but they're just big babies!

― The Lady Ms Loreta (lucylurex), Sunday, 12 October 2003 01:04 (twenty-two years ago)

No boys, I'm out

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 12 October 2003 08:51 (twenty-two years ago)

No Andrew, I'm out.

― Livvie (Livvie), Sunday, 12 October 2003 09:01 (twenty-two years ago)

This orgy is doing terribly!

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 12 October 2003 09:16 (twenty-two years ago)

OK elisabeth i'm back thanks to yr suggestion!

boys aren't so bad. girls are just as much of a hassle.

― black plastic (black plastic), Monday, 13 October 2003 00:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Cool if i watch?

― oops (Oops), Monday, 13 October 2003 02:41 (twenty-two years ago)

no.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 13 October 2003 03:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Cool if iI listen?

― oops (Oops), Monday, 13 October 2003 07:03 (twenty-two years ago)

*soundproofs room*

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 13 October 2003 08:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the least we can do to commemorate Dan's return is include boys in this orgy

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 13 October 2003 11:07 (twenty-two years ago)

i dunno if lola would be into it

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 13 October 2003 11:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm sure they'll be enough girls around that it won't matter.

― Livvie (Livvie), Monday, 13 October 2003 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

of course, we could always vote on it

― black plastic (black plastic), Monday, 13 October 2003 22:22 (twenty-two years ago)

My, this has gotten out of hand. Okay...how bout we open the orgy to everyone and then you can just pick and choose. Dan>> bring the Uncle Sam hat.

― Lola Falana, Tuesday, 14 October 2003 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

lola you are a genius.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 22:11 (twenty-two years ago)

But who's going to WEAR the Uncle Sam hat and American Flag boxing trunks? No, they do not come with a top...

― The Man they call Dan (The Man they call Dan), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 23:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Then I guess that's all on everyone else... WOULD YOU RATER SEE ME TOPLESS OR DAN? ...results to come...

― Lola Falana, Thursday, 16 October 2003 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

i got nothing against you Dan, but i'm gonna have to vote lola on this.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 16 October 2003 20:31 (twenty-two years ago)

*checks the lola box*

― black plastic (black plastic), Thursday, 16 October 2003 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

as if we didn't have enough sexual inneundo on this thread, go me

― black plastic (black plastic), Thursday, 16 October 2003 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Now now I'm sure you can both be topless, this is an orgy after all!

― Elisabeth (Elisabeth), Thursday, 16 October 2003 22:39 (twenty-two years ago)

With this kind of response Lola, I don't think we would even need to check the ballots to know that your box would win by a landslide... so no top for you.

― The Man they call Dan (The Man they call Dan), Friday, 17 October 2003 04:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuck! I knew I shouldn't have waited so long to place my vote for Dan.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 17 October 2003 05:28 (twenty-two years ago)

wait, dan, i keep forgetting that even tho yr a boy yr so pretty so maybe you should do some more campaigning to sway the undecided-?

― black plastic (black plastic), Friday, 17 October 2003 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Umm.... vote for me, and free nipple massages for all.

Wait! I don't want to win this election, what am I saying here?!?!

― The Man they call Dan (The Man they call Dan), Friday, 17 October 2003 16:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Your mouth says no, but your nipples say YES SIR.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 17 October 2003 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Mine are saying that too. I have the facts and I'm voting Dan

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 19 October 2003 08:35 (twenty-two years ago)

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