I Am Your Worst Nightmare

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Good morning/afternoon/evening, my name's [ blank ] and I am calling on behalf of someone you've never met or give a rat's ass about. You've been randomly selected to participate in an ILX thread about my new job -- research assistant (read: annoying phone-survey monkey) for a badly written, leading survey on Pertinent Sociological Issues.

All responses are voluntary and you may choose not to participate or ever speak to me ever again. Thank you, no you have a nice day. Asshole.

― petra jane (petra jane), Monday, 15 December 2003 08:49 (twenty-two years ago)

"Hello, my name is your name..."

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 15 December 2003 10:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't they say "arsehole" in H-Town?

― Schwingung (Damian), Monday, 15 December 2003 10:20 (twenty-two years ago)

i have immense trouble fobbing survey people off

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 15 December 2003 23:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm always threatening to answer survey people in a foreign language. I never have.

― Schwingung (Damian), Monday, 15 December 2003 23:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Jim, it's suckers like you that keep me in business.

― petra jane (petra jane), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 09:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm pretty happy to take these calls, tho the surveys they send out are way more fun. Either way no use to you, I guess. Sorry.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 13:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I like filling out surveys! I never get to do these though, they don't usually ring non-Chch numbers.

― Livvie Tapper (Livvie), Wednesday, 17 December 2003 06:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I've rung suburbs you didn't know existed!

Today a nice man from Royal Oak mistook "Please give your opinion choosing from Strongly Agree, Agree, [...] or Strongly Disagree" to mean "Please recount your life story peppered with anecdotes that bear only a vague relation to my questions for almost half an hour". I think my ear is gonna drop off.

― petra jane (petra jane), Wednesday, 17 December 2003 08:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I had a nightmare I slept with my cousin, honnnnnk... you lose.

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Thursday, 18 December 2003 09:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I had a nightmare me and E. had to capture a giant swimming rooster the other night, tho it wasn't really a nightmare in that we ended up bravely freeing it from poachers or something

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

even in their dreams E and A are day-saving happy-endinged 80s Cartoon Heros?

― petra jane (petra jane), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

i dreamed about elisabeth and andrew last night. it was a really boring dream though so i won't relate it.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh my god I just remembered that last night I dreamt that I found like bizarro Gonzo working at a church fair selling old scratched records! He had a brother called Stu and everything and it was really freaky, he was like REALLY nice too and lent me money.

― Elisabeth (Elisabeth), Thursday, 25 December 2003 00:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I see you people are still idiots, especially this petra jane bitch...

― The Leader (Adrian McCoy), Thursday, 25 December 2003 02:09 (twenty-two years ago)

...And trust me bitch, you havent begun to see nightmares till you lived in my world.......

― The Leader (Adrian McCoy), Thursday, 25 December 2003 02:10 (twenty-two years ago)

what world do you live in, adrian? we all live on earth.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 25 December 2003 02:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Last night I dreamed I came on this messageboard to write about how utterly utterly wonderful DOG'S BELLIES are - I wrote a lot too!

― cuspidorian (cuspidorian), Thursday, 25 December 2003 03:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I live in a world where people with stupid fucking names like "The Lady Ms Lurex" get decapitated and their remains get burned to ashes...you should try to come there some day...Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

― The Leader (Adrian McCoy), Friday, 2 January 2004 10:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Well that hardly sounds wise, does it?

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 2 January 2004 11:07 (twenty-two years ago)

i've always wanted to be cremated.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Friday, 2 January 2004 23:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd like to be floated out to sea.

― Elisabeth (Elisabeth), Saturday, 3 January 2004 01:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Fired out of a cannon. That'd have to be out to sea aswell, I guess, so I didn't hit anyone on my way down.

― Minty (Minty), Saturday, 3 January 2004 02:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Hidden under my bed

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Friday, 9 January 2004 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

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