A question of hate

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If you were God, who would you put on that open motorcade in 1963 (besides Sean M. Hall)?

― Dante-Cubed (Sean3), Monday, 24 November 2003 02:00 (twenty years ago) link

I'd put God in it, creating a logical paradox and destroying reality.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Monday, 24 November 2003 13:28 (twenty years ago) link

Can I lock this thread? I think we've covered everything . . .

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Monday, 24 November 2003 16:56 (twenty years ago) link

DON'T CENSOR ME!
Oh hang on, I have nothing of importance to say. Go right ahead then.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 24 November 2003 22:13 (twenty years ago) link

Oooh no! I thought of someone. Former Nottingham Forest striker Tony Woodcock. I really hate him.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 24 November 2003 22:14 (twenty years ago) link

And the actor who played Jamie in Doctor Who. Fucking demon-creature.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 24 November 2003 22:15 (twenty years ago) link

And obscure early twentieth century poet William Empson is a tool amongst tools, and worthy of assassination.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 24 November 2003 22:16 (twenty years ago) link

And Lynda Bellingham. I think that's about everybody. Yes that's it, oh and the defensive line of the Green Bay Packers circa 1974. That's definitely it now.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 24 November 2003 22:17 (twenty years ago) link

Lock it.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 24 November 2003 23:44 (twenty years ago) link

And get Matt a stiff drink.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 24 November 2003 23:47 (twenty years ago) link

And vaccination pioneer Edward Jenner. Die Die Die.

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 25 November 2003 09:44 (twenty years ago) link

Bill Haley can eat lead also, and his fucking Comets.

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 25 November 2003 14:47 (twenty years ago) link

And I would love to see Catherine of Aragon pushing up the daises, bitch.

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 25 November 2003 14:48 (twenty years ago) link

Plus the entire cast of Thoroughly Modern Milly, if there's room.

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 25 November 2003 14:49 (twenty years ago) link

Elvis

― Ðµdë §téè£, Wednesday, 26 November 2003 03:56 (twenty years ago) link

No one said Elton John. That's a suprise.

― Dante-Cubed (Sean3), Friday, 28 November 2003 04:15 (twenty years ago) link

You see we don't hate Sir Elton.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Monday, 1 December 2003 09:36 (twenty years ago) link

You do. You've got a picture of him on a dartboard in your room.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 1 December 2003 12:49 (twenty years ago) link

Actually i've got a picture of a dartboard pinned to Sir Elton.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 09:05 (twenty years ago) link

Oh, where are you keeping him these days? I only ask because I've heard whimpering coming from that cupboard in the kitchen. You know the one.

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 10:36 (twenty years ago) link

DONT GO IN THERE!

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 16:33 (twenty years ago) link

People have been calling him Sir a lot less lately. Maybe it's because of Iraq.

― Dante-Cubed (Sean3), Thursday, 4 December 2003 01:44 (twenty years ago) link

if a "sir" has gender reassignment surgery does he/she automatically became a "dame," or is there some paperwork to complete first?? i assume a second ceremony is not required.

― hurley (hurley), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:58 (twenty years ago) link

Sadly it is, and the second ceremony is infinitely more complicated than the first. First up the traditional sticks must be supplanted avially, as opposed to the more traditional "tinker's method" (unless this is obviated by Whimbrel's gambit as is occasional under extreme circumstances; hurricane, plague etc), secondly (and some would argue, as is their wont) the average fructation of each individal ritualist (or "Gavins")has to be increased at ten minute intervals, as opposed to the usual half hour, until at least seventy-eight percent unconsciousness is achieved. At this point the assault course has been removed, considered by some to be a foolhardy alteration which, in time, will only serve to fatally dilute the breeding stock.

In it's place are a good solid half an hour of speeches, on a full bladder, in a windy courtyard, under leaden skies, in November, in Wales. Yes, that's right. Fucking Wales.

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 5 December 2003 01:54 (twenty years ago) link

Whimbrel, nice.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 5 December 2003 15:08 (twenty years ago) link

but it's no Serin.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 5 December 2003 15:13 (twenty years ago) link

which is fine

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 5 December 2003 15:19 (twenty years ago) link

but it's no Dotterel.

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 5 December 2003 15:19 (twenty years ago) link

Dotterel eh?

Lovely.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 5 December 2003 15:31 (twenty years ago) link

Doesn't hold a candle to a Brambling though.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 5 December 2003 15:35 (twenty years ago) link

Aw, Bramblngs are great, aren't they?

― Matt (Matt), Saturday, 6 December 2003 02:46 (twenty years ago) link

Almost as good as Ortolan Buntings.

― Matt (Matt), Saturday, 6 December 2003 02:47 (twenty years ago) link

Buntings...
they remind me of a dream of Wales being overrun by robot nazi-cat hybrids.

― Dante-Cubed (Sean3), Sunday, 7 December 2003 08:08 (twenty years ago) link

three months pass...

HA! I would put anyone from VALHALA,HONOR is everything !

― ronald young jr, Friday, 12 March 2004 03:03 (twenty years ago) link

To Mr Ronald Young Senior, Hotel Valhalla, Antibes
IN CONFIDENCE

Terribly sorry to bother you, old boy, but he’s out of bed again…

― Rex (Rex), Friday, 12 March 2004 23:36 (twenty years ago) link

Hotel de Valhalla
06600 Antibes
France

To Mr Rex Waitrose
The Gelding's Whimsy
Nagshire

Re: Yours of 12/3/04

Dear Mr Waitrose,

We have regretfully to inform you that Mr. Young, Sr., who, quite understandably, has taken to sleeping on our maids and kitchen staff, is no longer receiving confidential correspondence. Should you insist on wishing to inform him of anything, whatsoever, please address all future missives to the attention of Mlle Marie-Christine LeFevre (a quite comely laundress of whom he is enamored of late) and he can read it over her shoulder.

As to the bed shortage. Unfortunately the present government has seen fit to insult not only the Communist CTL (Confederation de Transporteur Litiers) but the moderate LM (Livreurs Matelassiers) both of whom are now, of course on strike...here in Antibes of all places!!! Thus we are still out of bed to provide our clients.

If, however, you feel the urge to visit us, please take advantage of our comfortable maids who will accord you a restful sleep and all the comforts one has come to expect from a French hostellry.

Veuillez agreer a mes sentiments distingues, etc....

Palamede de Mesdeux

― Concierge (Hereward), Thursday, 18 March 2004 00:02 (twenty years ago) link

nine years pass...

With the benefit of hindsight, Hereward's finest hour.

― Aimless, Sunday, 9 June 2013 01:07 (ten years ago) link

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